November 01, 2012

A New Day

I know that there's a snazzy little "challenge" that goes around during November- the "30 Days of Thankfulness" or whatever you choose to call it...where you post something every day for which you are thankful.  There's also one that's where you choose to attempt to write a 50,000 or more word novel...

The point I'm trying to make is that it's the first day of a new month...a fresh page on my calendar...

We met with a lay counselor last night...if you don't know, that means they don't have a degree in counseling, they just have a gift for helping people by listening and...well...counseling...

So this man came to our house last night, someone who is really only about 15 years older than BB and I, whose daughter is a friend of mine (he doesn't know that, she doesn't know he was here, that's how it works), and whose grand-daughter dances with Princess...

Anyway, it was just nice to have someone completely unknown to us come into our home and validate the steps we've already taken, and verify that we are indeed on the right path...

The hardest thing to hear was the part where he talked about relationships being in one of three stages at any given time:  Intimacy, Conflict, and Withdrawal.  He told us that when things are good, we're in the Intimacy stage, our guards are dropped, we open up, and inevitable, it leads to Conflict.  Couples with healthy communication skills and abilities can work through the Conflict and go right back to Intimacy.  Without healthy skills (whether it's because you have them and don't use them, OR because you don't have them at all), you go to Withdrawal.  If you go to Withdrawal, you HAVE TO go back through Conflict and resolve it before you can get back to Intimacy.

He also talked about the fact that in our relationship with each other, as with God, in order to have forgiveness, there has to admittance, then repentance, and then comes the grace...

It bears saying that we both have things to repent - to turn around from, to confess...and changes to make, but to be reminded that we need to show each other grace was one of those open-palm-to-forehead moments where you kind of say "well DUH!"...

After he left, BB asked me what I thought.  Actually, his words were "Was it all you'd hoped it'd be?"  We talked about it for awhile, and I think that it helped immensely.

We still need and covet your prayers as we work through this...because we will work through this.

I'm not going to back down from this...

So, today, I'm thankful for fresh starts, for new days, for new mercies...

1 comment:

Penny said...

our church is having Gary Smalley do a conference tonight and tomorrow morning...if there are any papers or handouts, let me know and I could mail them to you...I am praying for you both!!