DYM is shopping around a novel she has written, and is receiving rejection letters from publishers. That has spurred her thinking of how she desires acceptance, which then led to her realizing that her children are asking for acceptance also! In their requests for stories, playtime, treats, down to the wordless snuggles that occur. And she reminded me that I need to ask myself all the time how I can show my children that they are loved and that they are accepted. She is not promoting the idea of never saying "no", but rather is petitioning herself (and me!) to remember that they are seeking assurance and security.
It is far too easy, especially when BB is out of town, for me to push aside those little moments with the kids in favor of something I have deemed more important.
How many times do I say "in a minute" as I scroll through Facebook posts, or as I'm tapping the screen of my iPod to play a game? How many times do I nod and say "uh-huh" while I'm a million miles and zillions of thoughts away from their conversation with me?
How many times do I say "please don't lay on me right now", or turn away an opportunity to snuggle up on the couch or the bed and watch a story, or read a book, or sing songs?
How much do my kids think I really love them?
I know that they need discipline, and that there are indeed times and requests which have to receive a "no" answer. I'm not going to allow my kids to eat candy all day long, for instance, or allow them to watch a show that is inappropriate, or use BB's tools, or even to stand at my hot stove while I'm cooking dinner.
I think sometimes we forget that it's not those grand moments of "Look! Daddy bought you an iPad and we're going to Disneyland for 2 weeks!" that show love, that instill security and acceptance. It is much too easy to say "in a minute" when all we need to do is stop for 10 seconds to wrap our arms around our children and remind them that we love them all the time, not just when it's convenient for us to do so.
I won't even go into how our tone of voice can dispel any evidence of love, or how our body language screams louder than any words we ever could say...
Today, and every day, take the time to stop and really think about just how you show your kids and your husband how much they are loved by you!
1 comment:
Now that all of my sons are grown I am ashamed to tell you I did all of those things. I regret every time I did ... if I could go back in time I would put the phone down . Turn the tv off. Pay more attention. But I can't.
great post -
Have a pretty day!
Kristin
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