But for some reason, since school started, I've waffled between insane OCD cleaning maven and lazy, sit on my fat rear and do a whole heap of nothing. I'm not sure why, I can't put a finger on my reasoning or drive for this cycle...
Needless to say, I've had a long and ongoing list of tasks and projects that I'd like to get done. And really, having one child in school 5 mornings a week, and another 2 mornings a week, and all 3 resting at the same time every afternoon that I'd have plenty of time and opportunities to tackle the items on my list - that I should have all my photos chronologically, alphabetically, categorically sorted and stored, with copies cleverly and creatively placed on the pages of the scrapbooks I have waiting for me. That I'd have the children's baby books completely filled in through the current date. That I'd have their school work in acid-free archival storage trunks, bound chronologically by age and school year/grade. That I'd have all the hideous wall paper stripped off my walls, giving them fresh coats of texture and paint, that my floors would be gleaming, my upholstery free of dust, cat hair, and Cheerio-schmear. That my laundry would be spotlessly clean, pressed, mended, and in it's rightful place...
And yet, somehow...what I have is 4 loads waiting to be washed, sticky floors that are dull, scratched, and stained. Upholstery that is regularly dusted with Cheerio-schmear and cat hair. A basement that has slowly, gradually become the dumping ground for all things unwanted on the main floor of my house...
Somehow I just feel overwhelmed at all the things I have convinced myself that grown-ups do...
At other times, I'd just rather curl up with the kids and read some stories, snuggle with a cookie and cup of milk, have a dress-up contest, fashion show, or fight fires, pirates and save damsels in distress. I'd rather color a picture, look at 57 pages of princesses and mommies, race tracks and superheroes, sit curled up in a blanket and watch endless re-runs of Caillou, Angelina Ballerina, or Transformers and Fraggle Rock...
And so, to echo something a friend posted on Facebook the other day - if there are dirty dishes in my sink, it means I fed my family. If there are dirty clothes in the baskets, it means my family has ample to clothe themselves, and if there are toys strewn about, and dust on my furniture, it means I am spending time with my family.
Perhaps someday I'll get the hang of being a grown-up, being a Mom...but for today, just for these moments, I'm doing to sit in my chair, eat some homemade cookies, sip a hot cup of cocoa, and tune out the remaining things on my "to-do before Thanksgiving Day" list.
2 comments:
I'm hosting Thanksgiving too, and I don't know why I put this expectation on myself that my house has to be perfect. No one is going to notice or care....but I can't let it look like it presently does. And like you, I've been going through an all or nothing phase - obsessively organizing everything or just doing nothing. I guess I need to get off my butt and clean but I'm still on the "do nothing" side of the phase.
As a mother of a 24 year-old daughter who is getting married and leaving home for good, I wish I would have spent more time playing and less time worrying about my house. Enjoy it while you can, they really do grow up too soon.
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