October 25, 2011

Bumps in the Road

I realize that all things are relative - each of us is fighting our own battles in our lives, some of them truly momentous, such as a my friend who is dealing with her 3 year old daughter being fitted for hearing aids, or my friend who is going through Chemo to fight cancer in both breasts...or my friend who lost her job waiting tables (which was their only income after her husband was laid off last summer)...Me? My bumps right now are the fact that all 3 kids are sick. Littlest One had a nasty stomach bug last week that didn't slow her down in activity levels at all, but sure took a toll on her rear-end poor thing. After going through a box of 96 diapers in 4 days (do the math if you'd like), and 2 16-oz TUBS of diaper cream, I thought we were in the clear on Thursday night.

As you may remember, BB was out of town (at least I think I mentioned that), our truck was broken and in the shop, I was flying solo with a car I don't like now that we have 3 booster/car seats to cram into the back seat, and was not feeling well myself.

SO...the truck was out of commission, I was toting all 3 kids across town at 7:40 in the morning to take Capt to school, taking the girls to the other side of town (which is really only 4 miles from my house to Capt's school, and 4 miles from his school to our Church, where Princess attends Preschool, but still...), to drop Princess at Preschool, and then coming home to attempt to get Littlest One to nap, and get some things done around the house that I desperately wanted to get finished while BB was away...only to wake Littlest One from her nap (something I despise doing for any of the kids), to pick Capt up, and then back across town to pick up Princess...add to that the fact that Tuesday is Princess' dance class, and Capt's AWANA night, and you get a hairy crazy day...

Anyway...Littlest One seemed to be fine, with no issues on Thursday afternoon/evening. BB's flight came in that night, and we went to pick him up with the newly repaired truck. Friday morning dawned to find us preparing for our first ever parent-teacher conference (which I was needlessly freaked out about), and all three kids were still asleep. My dad came over to watch them while we went.

the rest of the day was uneventful as far as things go - we did some yard work, BB caught up on actual work and the kids played and napped. Friday night we took BB out for a belated birthday dinner, and at bedtime, I noticed that Littlest One was sporting a few red bumps in her diaper area. I thought nothing of it because we'd been topically treating similar bumps on her hips and back for a few weeks as needed.

Saturday saw a few more bumps. By Sunday morning, her entire rear end was covered with these angry red bumps, and it was spreading - her knees, elbows, between her toes and fingers...yesterday I called our pediatrician's office and weasled my way to a 9:45 visit only to be told that has a bacterial infection that is affecting her skin and we're now treating it systemically with a pretty nasty antibiotic that is wreaking new havoc on her digestive track. No worries, I was prepared - bought three new tubs of yogurt, and laid in a good stock of things like Saltine crackers, bananas, and pulled some of my homemade applesauce out of the freezer for her.

This morning, Capt awoke on his own (pretty new for him) and sort of dragged himself around to get dressed for school. He came down stairs and was sort of mopey and whiny (NOT new for him, especially at 7am). I made him breakfast and he sat there, poking at it...I asked if he was ok, and he said his tummy hurt.

This is where I make my "HOLY COW!" statement about myself. You'd think that after doing this parenting thing for 5 years, I'd realize that when a kid says "I'm not hungry, my tummy hurts/I don't feel good", I'd NOT force them to eat anything at all...

BB and I decided to keep him home from school (again, something I hate doing unless absolutely necessary!), and not 5 minutes after BB left for his work, Capt was in the bathroom throwing up. The only thing I hate worse than sick cats are sick kids...at least he's old enough that he got to the bathroom and got it all in the toilet...so there was nothing to really clean up, just a boy to comfort and love on.

SO, I sent him back upstairs to brush his teeth and change into comfy clothes. Princess woke up about 10 minutes later, in need of a bath, due to an upset tummy.

Thankfully, only Capt has thrown up, and only the one time.

To top it all off, my birthday is next week, BB's was last week, and my family somehow was not thinking of it and decided to schedule something else the weekend on which we traditionally celebrate birthdays.

Now, this may sound childish to you, but I rather like making a big deal of birthdays - we do something special for the kids on their day, with a special breakfast the day of, a special lunch and/or dinner during the weekend leading up to, or following, and some sort of party with friends, as well as some sort of special celebration with just extended family. I do the same thing for BB - he gets a special breakfast the day of, at least one special lunch and/or dinner, and then a combined celebration for he and I with my family.

I think that birthdays are supposed to be special - it is, in my humble opinion, the ONE TIME during the year when you are allowed to be selfish and say that it's about you. Anniversaries, Valentine's Day, Christmas, even Mothers' and Fathers' Day are shared with your spouse, family, parents and siblings to some degree or another - those are about celebrating the OTHER PERSON/PEOPLE in your life. But your birthday? That's all about the day you were born.

That said...it rather grates on me that in my entire life, I've had ONE birthday which was not planned in some way or part by me. That was the year that BB and I got engaged.

SO...next Wednesday is my 36th birthday. I don't have an issue with the number because I simply don't feel "old", or "almost middle-aged"...

What I do have an issue with is the fact that my own Mom said it slipped her mind that my birthday was coming up when they scheduled this thing that they cannot reschedule.

I'm a bit offended. I'm selfish and childish and being petulant, and I know that there are so many things in the world that are so much more HUGE than my mom scheduling something else on the day we normally get together, but you know what? Just once, more than once a decade, more than once in my life I'd really like to utterly and completely taken aback with the celebration of my birthday.

I'd like BB to have flowers delivered from a florist, not just pick up a bouquet on his way home from work. I'd like him to plan and execute a meal that involves more than just driving us to a restaurant he thinks I like. I'd like to open gifts that are in no way practical (unlike last year's griddle and kitchen gadgets, or the previous year's sewing machine, or the year before that when he got me a garden tool kit). You know, the kind of gift that just makes you feel a bit spoiled - a gift certificate to a salon for a pedicure, or a spa for a massage, or your favorite expensive fine dark chocolate, or a gift certificate for one visit from the local housecleaning company to do a "thorough and deep cleaning of your house from top to bottom", or even a git card to a store that you've mentioned but rarely go into because it's out of your budget...

At any rate, I'm struggling today with feeling content, with feeling as though this profession of motherhood is where I want to be.

I know I want to be here...today it's hard to keep my eye on the prize.

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