For some reason, BB and I have just been at odds lately. I have a feeling I know why, but that makes me more frustrated, because I'm tired of it being my fault that he's frustrated. I won't embarass you with details, but basically, if I don't drop everything to be "romantic" with him, he gets upset. I know that there are times that I truly am in the middle of something that would cause serious issues to just leave. I also know that there are times when I just don't want to be interrupted.
I hope I'm not alone in having trouble balancing caring for the kids, all the things that go along with having a home like laundry etc, and being a wife. I don't have issues making sure that BB's got clean clothes, lunches, that I have conversations with him about his day and the world outside of our home.
I think my struggle comes from the fact that I choose to get up early enough to get myself ready, and have ample time to get the kids ready for their days and BB sleeps until the last possible minute it takes for him to get himself ready. If things go awry in the morning, he gets easily frustrated, which makes me feel as though I have to scramble to fix everything, to soothe everyone and smooth things over. Which then makes me feel resentful that I'm doing "everything", which makes me not want to be anywhere near him...
And so you see my issues.
BB is an amazing man. He works his tail off to make sure the kids and I are cared for - we have an abundance in our lives. He's smart, resourceful, strong, funny, creative...I could wax poetic about him, but I won't bore you.
I know he is gone all day and that he misses us when he's gone. He cares deeply for us, and would do anything for us. I know that inside and out.
What gets me, is that some days I just struggle with feeling so angry and taken advantage of. And that stinks! I don't like feeling as though I'm a martyr or a victim, or that my husband and best friend is this evil, malicious man who has nothing better to do than leave me to do "all the work" of raising our family and caring for our home...
So, those who've been there, done that...tell me, does it get any easier?