It's tough. Littlest One was sort of a shock to BB. Not in the "what were you thinking" sort of way, but in the "wait...you're what???" sort of way. Once we realized that we really were pregnant, it was all good. We were excited, sometimes a little nervous when we'd get caught up in thinking about the future, and the money it would take to raise and educate another little one.
But I remember a conversation shortly after Captain was born - within a few hours in fact - in which BB looked at me and said "with the difficulty we had getting this little guy, we'll take whatever God gives us".
And then somehow, somewhere, he got this notion in his head that we didn't have a big enough house, or we wouldn't have enough money, or any other reason he can come up with.
I don't know why, I don't pretend to understand. Other than the fact that he only grew up with a step brother that is 10 years older than he is, I have no idea why he's afraid of having a 4th baby.
Maybe someday, he'll be able to express to me what really lies behind the fear in his eyes when I say something about wanting another baby.
Until then, I will pray that God will show us the plan for our family - for contentment with where we are, and that which we have.