I have a friend whom I love dearly, who loves me to pieces. Right now, they are going through some really difficult times in their relationship, and I know that it's because they don't know the Truth about God and Jesus, and just exactly what it means to be a Believer, accepting God's grace and forgiveness.
She's hurting, and looking to the person who hurt her to make it all better, to ease the hurt, to heal her. I am frustrated because they are both being selfish, immature, and flat out stupid on top of looking at each other instead of God. Satan is really destroying them right now, battling to break up their marriage...
I've been praying, and asking God to show me what to do to love on her, to show Him to her, to really let her know the truth and how I can make that happen.
So far, I feel as though my pleas are being ignored. I know that isn't so, that He answers according to His will, not mine, and that maybe these friends haven't quite reached bottom yet, that there's more refining to be done before their hearts are softened...
I just don't know what to do, how to love on them best. They don't live in my town, her FIL is battling cancer, her kids are always sick, they have no money, they have no transportation, they have always got something bad happening to them. I know these are the ways that the Evil One is wearing them down, dragging them away from the Light...but how do you tell them that? How do you tell someone the Truth without alienating them, without making them hurt further?
I know from experience that when your world seems to be falling apart, the last thing you want to hear is that God loves you. I know now that it's enough. That it's everything...but how do you get through to someone who doesn't know that? To someone who, right now, just wants everything the way it was? When your husband is being a jerk (in your opinion), and decides that he can't be a husband and father right now, so he just leaves you and your kids in the lurch, how can you possibly hear that God, the Father (when your own father was a class-A ass) is waiting for you to cry out to Him, to fall into His arms and be Healed? How can you imagine that any Father is truly loving, can truly heal what ails you mentally and emotionally, let alone repair a broken relationship, and make things new and good again?
I'm really needing some encouragement today - something I can pass onto her that isn't just a quote from the Bible, that isn't just the normal words we say of "God is good, He'll heal you" or the like...
Help?
PS - this is NOT about BB and I - we're golden!
2 comments:
Kork, our home group is going through the books For Men Only and For Women Only, and it's been really interesting to see what that is doing for Walden and me. Even though these books are totally basic and we've gone more in depth with other books before, we're just in a special place right now. Maybe it's the fact that we have a group of couples around us. I don't know.
But maybe a care package mailed to her with those books (or maybe just the one for women), with maybe a copy of the movie Fireproof (Family Christian stores have them on their instore $5 special right now), a special card (Max Lucado has some good ones that are NOT cheesy), and some chocolates or other girly things to make her feel special. And then you could say something like she has a Creator who loves her and crafted her on purpose, and that this is a small way of letting her know that she is loved and not forgotten in this rough time.
And yes, I know the Fireproof movie isn't necessarily awesome acting, but I have to say that the Gospel is clearly spelled out and I found it a powerful movie despite the sometimes cheesy acting. In fact, I bought two copies today to give to friends.
The last thing, and I don't know how you'd say this to someone who doesn't even know Jesus yet, but a wise woman in our home group last night talked about how she spent so many years stroking her husband's ego and making sure he felt good about himself and she never felt him do the same for her. She really resented it. But one day, 16 years into her marriage, she felt like Jesus was saying that it was His job to meet her where she was in need and to fill her up and tell her how valuable she was as a wife, a mom, and a woman. While I am glad to have a husband who does try to tell me how great my meals are or how awesome it is when I am on top of housework, I think she's right. Ultimately, I need to look to Jesus to fill up my need to be affirmed. And the fact is, He's always there and ready to sing over me and delight in me. I don't know how you'd share this with someone like your friend, but wanted to include it in case you think of a way to do it.
In the meantime, I'll be praying for you. And if you need a cheap copy of Fireproof and can't get one yourself, send me an email and I could mail you one of our copies. I bought two, but only know for sure of one couple that we want to give it to. The other one was bought with the idea that God would point us to the person who would need it. So if it's your friend, just holler.
this is so heart breaking..when you have friends and you know they need God, but you also know that they would not be open to Him right now...I will pray for your friend and for you..to know what to do help and comfort her, to have God give you the words and actions that will work best in this situation. Life is so hard sometimes and we dont understand how people think that leaving is the answer, but we trust in God and His timing and His plans. take care and be thankful for all your blessings. Your friend is very lucky to have you in her life to be a blessing to her!
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