March 08, 2010

Warning - Feelings of Frustration

This weekend was not quite what I was hoping for.

BB ended up spending all of his "work time" in our basement, putting up the rigid foam insulation that we decided was best for us to use. While this means that he can have the framing done soon, getting us one step closer to a gorgeous new space downstairs, it also means that:
  • my music cabinet is still not completed. According to BB, it "only needs one more coat of poly and the hinges and door attached and it will be done". (see note below)
  • Captain's bed is also not completed. I know this will take a bit of time and lots of energy and muscle, but ummmmm...we have a baby coming in 10 days!!!!! So much for the beds being swapped out in January so the kids can be used to them...(see other note below)
  • the shop is a disaster area of scraps, trash, sawdust, and projects in various stages of completion
  • the basement is now a mess of old fiberglass insulation that is just laying around, foam scraps, empty tubes of adhesive, expanding foam cans, wrappers from tape, braces, and weights
I know that BB is working hard and is stressed and worried that the baby will be born before his work things are done. I told him that if he needed to log in and work through part of the weekend, that was ok. I'd rather he be as far ahead of the game before this baby is born as possible, then to have the home projects done. He can do the home projects while he's at home with us!

OK - that being said, I really do need to vent some frustration...
  1. My music cabinet has been under construction for almost the entire duration of our soon-to-be 8-year-long marriage. I have heard promises of it being done in time for our anniversary, my birthday, Valentine's Day, Christmas, and, more recently, Mothers' Day. I am tired of having music stacked in old, ratty cardboard boxes. I want it in my cabinet, where I can see that which I have, so I can begin teaching Capt and DG to play piano. Plus, I want to show off BB's workmanship!
  2. When we bought Captain's mattress, BB promised me that he would have the bed situation taken care of within 6 weeks (which would have been Feb 1), so that the kids would have about 6 weeks to get used to the new situation. He didn't start it until 3 weeks ago. He didn't stop on the way home any night in the last 3 weeks to get the 1/2 sheet of material that he needed. I offered to get one. He said no.
And so, here we are, a mere 10 days from our scheduled C-Section, and I have no music cabinet. I have no twin-sized bed for Captain, which means that DG is still in the other crib, which means that if the bed isn't done before BB goes back to work, DG will have to nap either on the floor in her room, or in my bed, because I cannot lift her into and out of the crib prior to being cleared at 6 weeks. BB will only be home for 4.

I'm a little upset, a lot frustrated...and while I understand that BB needs to have some way to work through his frustrations that keeps him from being angry and short-tempered at the kids and I, I wish that he would have spent a little more time in the shop after we came home from his folks' in January...

I am constantly working on things that need doing, like the paperwork, the checkbook, the bills, the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the ironing, the baking, getting baby clothes sorted and ready...and somehow, even being voluminously pregnant and very uncomfortable for the last months since our trip, I'm able to keep up.

And so, I'm struggling with not nagging, with not feeling like a martyr, or taken advantage of, or that BB is somehow slacking in his duties as a husband...

Prayers are appreciated, and I'll keep you posted as much as I can...

4 comments:

Ang said...

prayers to you..Sometimes I wish they (our men) would get more light bulb moments and realize that we are not doing this to "nag" at them but trying to make the situation less stressful for them as we can see the future sometimes a little clearer than they can..Okay rambling. My thougths are with you.

Ang said...

prayers to you..Sometimes I wish they (our men) would get more light bulb moments and realize that we are not doing this to "nag" at them but trying to make the situation less stressful for them as we can see the future sometimes a little clearer than they can..Okay rambling. My thougths are with you.

Ang said...

prayers to you..Sometimes I wish they (our men) would get more light bulb moments and realize that we are not doing this to "nag" at them but trying to make the situation less stressful for them as we can see the future sometimes a little clearer than they can..Okay rambling. My thougths are with you.

Ang said...

prayers to you..Sometimes I wish they (our men) would get more light bulb moments and realize that we are not doing this to "nag" at them but trying to make the situation less stressful for them as we can see the future sometimes a little clearer than they can..Okay rambling. My thougths are with you.