March 21, 2010

Taking A Dip

I am one of those people that takes about 15 minutes to get into a swimming location. You know the type...we start at the stairs and we walk down them, and as the water starts to lap around our thighs we sort of suck in our breath and stand there for a minute or 5, waiting to acclimate to the temperature, and then we sort of step a bit further, dropping down a bit to get wet up to our belly buttons...then our armpits, and finally, finally, we decide we might just as well dunk our heads under the water. I've never been a run to the edge and jump, cannon-ball style into the water waiting below.

While I was recuperating in the hospital these last days, I had a lot of time on my hands. While I spent many of the minutes gazing at the chubby cheeks and perfect rosebud lips of this new little one, I also spent some time gazing inward.

I know that there are times that I've said that I want to change this or that about myself, or that I'm working to be better at something...and this is much the same train of thought.

BB and I have been working hard over the last weeks to get on board with the Dave Ramsey class, and follow his plan, and we're making some fantastic progress. And as I thought about that and how great it's been, I've sort of wondered why other things in my life have sputtered and fizzled, but never really sparked to life and become a full-on flame...

And I realized something crucial...all your life you've heard it in one form or another, maybe best summed up by the good old Nike motto of "Just Do It"...

Now, don't roll your eyes at me, don't smirk, don't get all snarky...

I've struggled my whole life with procrastination and perfectionism. I would rather put something off for months or years or say I'm "working on it" but never really do it because I might mess it up. Or, worse yet, I might get it finished and then what would I do? What would be next? What would people expect of me if I accomplished something, no matter the difficulty level of said achievement?

When I put it out there into words, and here, in type, it sounds so silly and childish...I mean really...if I were to just commit to an exercise and weight loss program, and just do it ever day...who would look at me at the end of it and say "well, you did lose some weight, but you still need to lose more"? And if someone really said that to me, in a serious manner, and they weren't my medical professional, would I actually care? Would I rather just leave them and find someone who will encourage and support me?

The other thing that struck me was how goofy I was being for holding back for other reasons. And really, all those reasons are so invalid.

If I want change, I must simply just do it. I need to dive right in, jump off the pier into the lake, hop out the plane door and skydive...whatever analogy you choose.

We are successfully navigating through this Financial Peace plan toward being completely debt-free and staying that way because we chose to just jump in and do it. We carry no credit cards in our wallets. I have the envelopes with money in them for my grocery and clothing shopping. I am still nervous about it, but you know what? The temptation to toss in a bag of Oreos, or a carton of ice cream isn't there because I know that to buy it, I'd have to put back the carrots and potatoes and oranges...

Simply put, jumping in changes your priorities completely...you realize that it doesn't matter what the actual temperature of the water is, you are now comfortable in it. And you can swim laps, or splash, or play Marco Polo, or just float around and luxuriate in the sensation of the water lapping around you...you aren't worried about getting your hair wet, or your makeup running down your face, or what if that cute guy walks by and sees you acting goofy playing some odd version of water volleyball, or water polo or just having a good old dunking war...you stop fearing all the things that seem important, and you are focused on the benefits and fun of what you are all wrapped up in...and it is wonderful...

And so, I'm challenging myself to find the next thing on my list and just do it...just jump right into it and embrace it, never looking back to see what has happened on the pool deck since I did...but to just have a good time while I'm in the water.

Care to join me?

1 comment:

Ang said...

Already there babe!! Working on this and going foward..