Some People Call Me...

Crazy! (if you thought I was going for "the Space Cowboy", I'm sorry to disappoint)

SO...some of my recent posts have detailed my medical roller coaster of the last...ummm...all of my life...

It all started on "Move Up Day" when I practiced a day of 8th grade...at the tender age of "just past 14", when, during the passing period between 5th and 6th hours, I visited the "Girls'" restroom, and had to borrow a dime from a friend...and it was crazy, and random, and I never thought anything of it until I was ready to have kids...

SO...fast forward to 12 days ago, when I saw my OB/GYN, and she prescribed me some medication to...start things without invasive procedures, with the warning that if things didn't start, I'd have to come back, and we'd have to "try something more definite". OH...and that was the day that my medical practitioner told me in no uncertain terms to lose weight.

Since that day...I've filled 2 prescriptions, finished one on Friday night, which resulted in things...starting Sunday night. I was irritable, cranky, short-tempered, my skin is a mess, my hair is freaking out, I'm bloated, I'm exhausted, and, I'm happy! Yup! You read that right...I am happy that I've started my cycle with only the help of a "mid-grade" hormone prescription. You see, I knew that if things didn't get going with this particular drug, I'd be in for a day surgery procedure involving lots of fancy French and Latin words that basically end up meaning "the doctor goes in and shaves and cuts and dices, and you hope it works because it's a pain in the bum, and you're lucky if your insurance will cover any future visits to your OB after that"...at least with the ladies I know who've been there...

Needless to say, without getting all graphic and the like...I am using feminine hygiene products for the first time since Tiny Princess was born 14 months ago...Prior to that usage, it had been 12 months. Prior to that, it was sort of normal, because I had medical intervention in the form of medication. Prior to Captain Chaos being conceived, it was normal due to that same medication. For the years prior to that, it was never "normal"...it wasn't even "irregular"...it was "random, and damned erratic". And that is putting it politely.

This is ironic...especially as I have a dear friend that is dealing with a newly founded pregnancy...her IVF was successful, the transplant was successful, her first hormone readings were good...and she's in the stage where she is freaking out about every twinge, flutter, cramp, twitch, itch and all other body movements that are not controlled by her conscious mind. She is concerned that all of the good parts of this will not be good enough, and that something will still happen. She is praying that she won't be experiencing this until late October, after her baby is born, and I've been praying for the last months that something would happen...

Now, to the point...I am not hoping for these things to happen because I don't want more children. I do!!! I would love to have 2 or 3 more.

However...biologically speaking, I'm rapidly approaching the window when doctors begin to council against pregnancies due to age and risk (blah, blah, blah), and BB still thinks our 2 are plenty. That, however, is not the issue...due to my condition, it is vital to my health that things which most women take for granted, and grumble about each month happen to me at least 3 times during a calendar year. Bad things will happen to me if it doesn't.

That, therefore, makes BB very nervous. I joked that it was because he just didn't want to enter the dating scene as a mid-thirties man with 2 children...he didn't think that was very funny.

And, all joking aside, it isn't...my PCOS, combined with my family medical history, and my own weight issues make for a pretty nasty cocktail of contributing factors to things that start with capital letters which make people talk about you in hushed tones, using phrases such as "the poor dear", and "those darling children"...

While I don't currently show anything that points to those things happening, we'd like to keep it that way.

SO, on April 14, I will take a minimum 3-day food journal, my test results from a physical that I just had on Friday, and go see a dietician that specializes in nutrition and weight loss surrounding hormonal and metabolic issues effecting women only. Sorry boys, she can't help you with your issues unless you have ovaries (or used to)...

I'm sort of excited, sort of nervous, and totally trepidatious about the whole thing...I'd like to hear what she recommends when she knows what I'm already doing, have already tried.

I know that I didn't get to my weight overnight, and that during my pregnancies, I had minimal weight gain (to the point that at one visit, the doc actually called BB to make sure I was eating), and therefore had really happy postpartum check-ups, because, when you only show a 12 pound gain, and deliver an almost 9-pound baby, plus all the other "stuff", you show up at your 2-week and 6-week checks weighing about 30 pounds less than you did at your confirmation appointment! Too bad I put it all back on, or I wouldn't be in this mess!

Anyway...be praying as the next 2 weeks go by, that the dietician will have some wisdom for me, and that we can find something better than "be more active but don't eat more...in fact, just eat less"...

I know there isn't a magic answer that will make me have a healthy lifestyle for the rest of my days, and I know that it won't happen overnight...but be praying that we'll find some combination of foods and activities that will allow me to see some success, and to FEEL the success in the way my clothes fit, and how I feel...