February 06, 2008

Moral Dilemma

I have a serious, huge, giant, massive issue, and need to vent about it, and seek some serious counsel...so I turn to you all...

I was recently informed by someone very, very close to me that they are gay. This came, honestly, as no real surprise to me, but it was much easier to be in denial without their verifying it.

My dilemma is this...I was told point blank by this person that they have read a lot of books, and done years of soul-searching, and praying, asking for God to change them, and have come to the conclusion that they cannot change, and that there is nothing wrong with it. In fact, they are seriously considering attending a church that openly embraces homosexuality as ok.

Needless to say, this goes against everything that I believe, and after many nights of prayer (thank goodness for those nursing sessions in the middle of the night), I am no closer to peace about the idea that God could create something that goes against everything you read in the Bible. I don't know the number of times it mentions it, but there are accounts in the Old Testament of God's wrath falling on those who practiced homosexuality. I know that some argue that the writings in the New Testament were answering to a different society at a different time, and it was just their opinion, not God's divine word...

So, my question to you all is this: How do you tell someone that you still love them, but that there beliefs are opposite of yours without destroying a relationship???

2 comments:

Inkling said...

That's a hard one. I don't have any answers for you. But I do have one thing to share.

Without asking for anyone to argue with me, I am boldly saying that I now believe that homosexuality has biological causes, as well as emotional and spiritual causes. I do not believe that God created that, but that our fallen world now produces it in its own biology just the same as a tendency to alcoholism or other things that are a mixture of choice and disease. Why do I believe this?

Because I am acquainted with a precious little boy who has wanted to be a girl for the past five years. He's eight. I've never met someone who is so feminine, and yet so totally male. Without going into major longwindedness, this little boy has a mixture of emotional/environmental factors playing into his gender confusion, but there is also a clear biological issue as well.

So your friend may very well have some biological factors involved, which make it more than just a decision to be straight or gay. It doesn't mean that it makes it right, but it does mean that simply encouraging repentance or whatever would make it worse. It is so hard.....on one hand the world says it is totally natural and should not be considered a bad thing, an illness, or anything wrong. On the other hand, a lot of Christians say it's sin and the person simply needs to turn around and make the choice to leave it behind. I say it isn't that simple. The truth is probably somewhere in between.

Oy. I better post this comment before I chicken out. Feel free to delete it if you want, for I certainly don't want to cause any fights on your blog or stress you out even more.

Kork said...

Thank you Inkling for your bravery! I admire your willingness to share this with me and anyone else who reads...

It's a tough place to be, and makes me so frustrated, but I can see what you mean, and it's a valid point upon which I shall ponder and pray...

Please, keep comments coming!