January 14, 2008

The Decisions Has Been...sort of postponed

For those that know...after an emotional discussion involving lots of tears, a frustrated and remorseful hubby, and several tissues into which my nose was blown, BB and I have decided that we will NOT be taking advantage of the "two-for-one" procedure offer.

I have been praying for lots of guidance and wisdom on this, and will continue to do so. I explained to BB that I felt sort of blindsided by this idea of our family being done with the birth of this baby. I realize that I'm emotionally just not in a good place to make that decision, and while I may feel like we're still missing some pieces of our family, I'm not certain that will still be the case in 6 months.

We had 3 years of trying to conceive before we were successful (with much thanks to medical advances, and an open-minded doctor, and tons more to the power of prayer and God's blessing). I simply cannot imagine that we would now say, "thanks God for the first baby, and this new one, but we're good now, so you can go away"...because that's how I feel. For those of you not religious, spiritual, faithful, or just not sure, I cannot explain myself clearly, and I apologize...for those of you who are...you know what I mean. God has blessed BB and I so much with Captain Chaos, and we honestly didn't know if He would bless us with more children, but so often I wonder how many times I've gotten in the way of the blessings He's sent me, and missed them...

I know that sounds weird, and sort of backwards, but if I'm too busy trying to outguess God, how can I see clearly the things He's given me?

At any rate, BB and I have decided that we will wait, pray and listen and make this decision at a later time. I told him I didn't want to feel like we were making this decision based on one extreme or the other in our thought process...you know, completely emotional, or completely logical and only focusing on our finances. We know there has to be a middle ground, and a way to make the decision more clearly. We also felt very rushed by this, and I really wish the doctor had said something MONTHS ago.

My mom had great input, which I posted last week, but I'll revisit...there is medically no reason at this point to not have more children, for either BB or myself. So, aside from our finances, what reasons do we have to not have more? Of course, we also have to look at the flip side...what reason do we have to have more?

Keep praying for us, and know that if there aren't any posts, it means the baby didn't want to wait til the 22nd! :)

3 comments:

Ang said...

prayers going up..i know it's a hard decision for you both. i wish I could have more..Hugs

Inkling said...

I'm glad you've both decided to go ahead and wait until you have more time to think and pray about the whole idea. If it had been me, I think I would have done the same, simply because it's hard enough to make a decision when hormones are coursing through one's body, and even harder when it's such a permanent idea. I'm glad you've got a husband who's willing to wait and pray with you. That is awesome. God's most amazing blessings to you on this new little one's arrival, and His blessings and guidance to you when you do find yourselves ready to make the next decision. Praying for you....

Queen Mother said...

I didn't think I would have another after Bubba.I had trouble so when Princess came along I was suprised but at the same time I also knew without a doubt that she was the last. Yet she was a year old before I had my tubes tied.