September 25, 2007

The Things We Do for Love

Alright, alright...I'll try to come up with something OTHER than song titles for my headings...but they're just so much fun!

At any rate...I was thinking in between folding socks (how's THAT for multi-tasking?) that I'm either insane, or else really, really in love with BB...

We're preparing to spend a week in California spending time with BBs brother, CalCustoms and family, my oldest brother, Preacher Man and his family, and BBs maternal grandparents...its an awkward situation because BBs only family that are believers are his maternal grandparents, who hate his parents (more on that later on), and his stepmom's mother. This means that when we visit CalCustom and family, it involves lots of swearing, lots of negativity and whining, and humiliation for our "weakness". His grandparents are the type of older people that are in process of losing memory (grandpa) and losing physical abilities like eyesight, hearing and movement (grandma) that live in a teeny tiny little place that is CRAMMED with stuff...if you've ever fallen into watching the shows like Clean Sweep, Clean House, or How Clean is Your House? you know what I'm talking about...these folks are prime candidates for these shows, but would never part with anything because they're "antiques"...and definitely not friendly to Captain Chaos...which means we can't safely spend time there due to the dirt and things...
PreacherMan and his family are much better because of how much we all have in common, but is still touchy because SIL is very VERY attached to her own family and somehow makes us all feel as though we're not really worthy of her time and energy...

Which, in a very round-about way brings me to my ultimate point...how do you handle sticky situations with those awkward family members without alienating them, or coming across as fake, or "little miss sunshine", a name with which I've been labeled all my life by my family?

Of course, the ultimate challenge will be 3 weeks with my In-Laws in the Pacific NW...a beautiful coastal town, close to the crashing waves and rocky cliffs, sea lions, and the best darn ice cream in the world...BUT...3 weeks in their tiny house...

Suggestions for sanity saving and activities to keep the Captain out of trouble are greatly welcomed!!!!!

4 comments:

Inkling said...

This sounds so morbid, but fortunately, my husband's parents are dead. The only inlaws I have to deal with are his very quirky and baggage-ridden siblings. As of this writing, I have no advice on dealing with inlaws, as I've just apparently offended my sister-in-law by sweetly saying her children were disobedient while they were here. Of course, I have a feeling she has decided to start reading my blog again, and if that's the case, then I can imagine she's offended for a reason. Oy. So the only advice I'm even feeling might help at the moment is to move to Antarctica. I'm thinking of asking Henry David if we can head there tomorrow.

Now, as for what to do while you are in the PNW......bring your passports (or birth certificates if they haven't made the passports required yet); accidentally cross the border into Canada, and then come visit us. We'll take you climbing, and can offer you our very tiny but very clean place to stay. I even have sippy cups and baby silverware now, though we don't yet have kiddos of our own. Granted, we don't have an ocean view, and I have a feeling your inlaws would croak. But still, it was fun to suggest.

Oh, and by the way, I had heard through Farmwife that your brother had moved to Africa to become a missionary, and later heard that he was married. To be honest, at the time of hearing the first news, I had to give up my crush on him because there was no way on God's green earth that I was going to give up my hot rollers, indoor plumbing, and venture off this continent. Now that I'm married to Henry David, I could probably give up all those things without too much fear or trouble. But I have to say that even though God didn't have your brother and I for each other, the memory of how he asked me to Spring Banquet and how I stupidly reneged will live on forever. (I said yes but backed out because I got scared and made up some stupid excuse) His creativity with that invitation was amazing, and I've told that story time and again.

Kork said...

Cross the border into the Great White North...not a bad idea...I did love Vancouver when I was there...hmmmmmm...

And the kiddos will come, as will endless advice from the rest of the family on how to do everything from bathe to diaper to discipline to CUT their PBJ sandwiches...*SIGH*

Ang said...

PNW.Your descriptions sound close to Tillamook County (Tillamook Cheese Factory) where delicious icecream is made and Haystack Rock at Cannon Beach. Then there is Beautiful Seaside Oregon. Yes they are all tourist traps..But the beaches are beautiful and long for good walks.

A good journal, on the front porch, a good book on the front porch. A laptop to blog and reach out to friends. Several bandaids and salve to protect our bleeding tongues as we bite down hard. Window shopping and exploring the hole in the wall locations.

Sand Castles with Captain Chaos. Baby Jogger and running on the beach.

I've learned through my own experience with my in-laws that I cannot change for them or change them at all. They will never be happy that I married there son and chose to alienate him.

Have you discussed your feelings with BB?

Maybe ask SIL to engage in a walk or window shopping with you and see if there is something common ground for you.

By the way welcome to blogworld. Looking foward to reading more from you.

Kork said...

Thanks Ang!

We'll be coastal Oregon for those 3 weeks. And I'll be sure to pack lots of bandaids, and hope for some un-rainy weather so we can get out to the beach and do some exploring. :)