August 15, 2013

A Drop in the Bucket

I've had one full week of work days (ok, I'm only working 3 days a week, so really, it's not a FULL week per se...) and I'm already missing my family like crazy...

It was SO hard last week, knowing that I was off learning how to pull espresso shots, steam milk, inventory and receive merchandise orders and use a point of sale for the Church's Bookstore/CoffeeHouse while my precious babies were being babysat by the neighbor girl...I know for a fact that they sat the ENTIRE 4 hours I was gone and watched TV...no giggle fests, no "Can I be your helper?", no "let's go ride bikes!"...not that I begrudge my 16-year-old neighbor for hanging out with 3 kids and watching Veggie.Tales all morning truly, it was just that it wasn't me sitting there snuggling up to squirmy, giggly, sticky little people...no big blue eyes rimmed with tangled lashes above a nose sprinkled with tiny freckles, no grin surrounded by dimples, no ballerina twirls across the floor into my lap..

The last 2 days were perhaps even harder, because BB worked from home to stay with the kids as our school doesn't start for one more week...Capt and Princess will be gone all weekdays, and Littlest One will be in school 2 mornings a week...but right now they're all mine!  No school, no obligations I don't want to assume, no work (for 3 whole days!!!!)...it was just hard because I know that he's WORKING from home...not staying home to take the day off to hang with our kiddos...

It was tough to come home Tuesday night and know that he'd spent the day holed up in our office while the kids ran amuk and played outside, in the basement, rode bikes, had a water fight, built Lego castles...all without him, without me...and the worst part is that they survived...they THRIVED without me...

I know that parents get this...those of you with kids (or grandkids) understand what I'm saying...

Its our job to raise them to be independent, think for themselves, make good choices...I just didn't want it to happen at the ages of 7, 5, and 3...

I know, it's a small thing in light of eternity (my pastor told me that yesterday), but it still hurts to know that this drop in the bucket involves me missing out...

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