April 16, 2013

Writers' Block

Not that I claim any great talent or skill for writing...just that I'm at a loss lately.

Those who know me IRL are probably shaking their heads at this...Kork is speechless?  It must be a sign of the apocalypse!

Rest assured, for the 6 of you who read this blog, I'll be back.  I'm going through some things right now and I'm just at that place where even here...among the relative anonymity of the internet, I can't start writing, or the floodgates will open and the messy result is not something I'm ready to face quite yet.

In the meantime, please be praying, sending up happy thoughts, whatever it is you do to send comfort and peace to those for whom you care...please be doing that for me.

BB and I are having a really rough time.  In the midst of personal strife, marital tension, and end of the school year hullabaloo, we ended up with a new pup.

She's a sweetheart...mellow, easily training, sleeping through the night right now (thank goodness!)...but it's adding yet another iron to a fire that was already crowded to the point of smothering the fire and making all irons even less effective than they were before.

I wouldn't trade her for the world - she's a gem of a dog, and a wonderful new pet after our practically perfect in every way Rocco...

I just didn't need another layer, another responsibility...and maybe things wouldn't be stressful and tense in other areas if I wasn't the only one caring for the dog.

Again - be praying for BB and I - that we'll figure things out, root out the cause, eradicate the problems, and work to build a truly strong foundation and continue on in our journey together.  He tends to be a pessimist with a nasty temper, in the midst of which, he hurls insults and swear words like the proverbial sailor.  I'm struggling with weariness - not in being a wife or mother, just in being the guilty party all the time.  I know I have my faults, and I know I'm working to eliminate and eradicate and recreate...but surely I'm not the only one that needs to improve myself in this relationship, am I?

1 comment:

Inkling said...

It's the end of the world as we know it....it's the end of the world as we know it....when Kork can't talk....

Everyone sing with me now.

Seriously, my friend, I'll be praying for you. Marriage is the hardest relationship. I've been reading some gems about it from Lewis Smedes in his book Caring and Commitment. I picked it up on a day that I was ready to toss my rings to my husband and go find a new life. It doesn't help that it seems like marriage is something the enemy focuses especially on destroying or at least making it suck. So I'll be thinking of you and I fight my way through my own marriage challenges and pray for us both as we try to be wives who love well.

<3 to you