Still Waiting

I'd like to thank you all for praying for Littlest One...

To date, we've had not even a shadow of a hint of another seizure...thank God for His mercies and healing.

Her EEG went well - she was only mad when the tech held her head still to measure and mark for the little electrode thingies.

She was running on about 4 hours of sleep, over tired, over stimulated, over everything! She was whiny and cranky and fussy until this sweet little lady who is probably someone's amazing grandmother took us back and did the test. She was funny, sensitive...truly wonderful.

Littlest One hung out on the hospital bed in a room with some lullabies and some ocean wave sort of noise. I was relieved that it was quiet, in the farthest corner of the farthest hallway of the office, so no outside noises should keep her awake. She got all hooked up, and we snuggled her under her blanket, with me laying beside her on the bed, and BB sitting on a rocking chair next to her other side. She guzzled her milk and fell asleep pretty quickly.

The downsides?

- she only got to sleep long enough to be refreshed but not fully rested, so was too awake to fall asleep in the car on the ride home

- we still don't have any results

I'm antsy, impatient at the best of times, but this not knowing WHAT caused the seizure in the first place is weighing heavily on me. It is hard enough to watch my kids go through things like stomach bugs and/or minor injuries from bumps and the like, but to watch something completely uncontrollable make your child stop breathing, and then to be whisked away to the ER in the ambulance not knowing if your child is ok or not takes it to another level. Had it been because she choked on something, I would feel somewhat better. At least I would know WHY it happened.

I am freakishly aware of her breathing...even now, as she's snoozing in her bed for afternoon nap, and the baby monitor is at it's normal pre-seizure level of volume, I can hear her breathing. I know what sounds are normal and what are not.

We left her in the nursery at Church on Saturday night (lower attendance, higher worker:child ratio) for the first time since it happened and I had a hard time concentrating on worship and the sermon.

Thankfully our child care staff is AWESOME and one of the workers was someone with whom I'm friends in real life and on Facebook, so she knew what had been going on. There were 3 other workers, and about 12 other babies. She sat with Littlest One the entire hour just so she could keep an eye on her and make sure nothing was happening with her!

We've been blessed with meals, someone came over and cleaned the house for me while we were picking Captain up from school - they literally came in with all the ladies from their home group and the crew of 18 ladies each took an area or job in the house and had our entire home cleaned spotlessly from top to bottom in the 40 minutes it took me to drive to the school, unload the girls, pick up Captain, load all the kids up, and drive home. There was a bouquet of fresh flowers on the kitchen table, dinner in my crock-pot and a handwritten note that simply said "your Angel tapped us on the shoulder to be your tangible angels here on earth". After crying I realized that there was a message on the answering machine that said not to panic that all our dirty clothes were missing - they'd taken all our laundry home with them. It came back, washed, air dried, folded, pressed - one lady even mended the hems of Princesses sundresses that have come undone this summer and sewed buttons back on BB's work shirts - they literally took every scrap of clothing that wasn't already hung up or in a drawer and laundered it. Several of the ladies told us NOT to do our weeding and mowing, as their sons would be by over the next weeks to take care of it all.

I awoke last Saturday morning to find that every weed had been removed from my yard, they'd trimmed all our shrubs, bushes, pruned some trees, dead-headed all my flower gardens that needed it, mowed, trimmed, edged, and hauled away all the waste. They even harvested all our veggies and left them in a basket on our front doorstep with a box of doughnuts and a thermos of coffee so BB and I could enjoy some quiet time with one another and have a treat.

I've had more phone calls, postcards, notes, and emails in the last 2 weeks than in my entire life...

I'm so overwhelmed with the outpouring of ministry, of God's love in the flesh...I can't even begin to describe it.

I only know that I will never in a million years be able to feel as though I've passed on the love to anyone else in my life...

Our follow-up with the neurologist is not until the 31st, and I've received an email from the coordinator of our Care Team from Church stating that we'll be receiving dinners each night until then, and that half of the meal providers will be bringing breakfast things and the other lunch things so I don't have to fret about feeding my family.

We have boxes of dry goods and canned goods, recipes, freezer meals...and one lady told me last night that she'll be back to do my ironing later today.

It's crazy...Crazy Love for family in need and totally awesome...