December 13, 2010

Spinning Around and Around

I've been pretty busy of late. We returned home from our trip safely. I spent the next day doing laundry and buying groceries. That weekend, somehow, slipped away from me as BB spent large portions of it away from the house and taking care of some minor household repairs. I got my tree up and decorated. Barely. The house was in chaos all last week as I attempted to get back to normal and get ready for a Christmas Tea at our Church that required me to use all of my own dishes. Said dishes have been packed safely in bubbles and paper inside plastic bins since 2006. Needless to say, I had a time of it unpacking, sorting, repacking, washing, drying, packing to be safely transported, trying to find service for that which I needed. I sort of obsessed over it - wanting it to be perfect for the ladies that would be sharing this morning with much so that I hardly slept, gained 6 pounds, broke out like a teenager, and was snippy and short-tempered.

Saturday morning dawned with me already awake, showered, dressed, fed, and all things loaded up, ready to go. I got the kids ready for their day, made sure that all things were in as much readiness for Littlest One as possible (she refuses to drink from a bottle, but won't go to sleep without milk. Lucky me!), and as easy for BB to just pick up and go and have a successful day with the kids as possible.

I returned home after 4 hours away to find my laundry room in disarray, things scattered, toys everywhere, crushed crackers and other dry food all over my family room floor, learned that a glass decanter (decorative only) had been broken and cleaned up, kids had been punished, and BB had spent the entire morning in the laundry room doing some repairs that have now ended us back at square one. We spent the rest of the weekend finishing the first stage of re-refinishing our laundry room. Don't ask, I'm still sort of frustrated over it.

I love that my husband can do those things. I love even more that he does do those things. What I don't love right now is that I was totally blindsided by it. I had a basket of laundry waiting to be folded and a basket of items that need ironing in the laundry room that had to be rewashed after the weekend. I had a lovely storage bench that we had recently refinished get totally scratched and dinged up. I had a floor get covered in muck and dust that then got tracked all through the house. I had my 4 1/2 year old and my almost-3 year old in said room working alongside their dad...

I am excited that the project is going forward, it needed to be done. I am not excited that we had no preparation, it just started.

I had a totally chaotic house to begin with, and had asked if he could do a couple of small things that morning while I was gone, to help insure the success of the rest of our weekend.

Those things didn't get done. Instead, BB worked on his own list of things without communicating them to me.

As a result, it was a bit of a frustrating weekend for us both. I was mad that he didn't tell me what he was thinking of doing, and he was mad because he thought I didn't want him to do the things he'd done.

Confused? Stick with me here - I realized after a long day yesterday of getting the laundry room as finished as we can right now that BB is just that way. I can either be aware of this, take it for what it is - a lack of communication skills that are identical to mine - and be frustrated, OR, I can take it for what it is, and realize that he must feel the same way about me! I am resolved, therefore, to be more careful of what and how I am communicating with BB. It is a 2-way street, and only badness can ensue if I don't.

In the meantime, I feel as though I'm spinning in circles, seeing all the things that are irritants to me, and can't find a way to get started working through them.

There's laundry, but there are messy counters, but there are sticky floors, but there are dirty bathrooms, but there are Christmas treats to be baked, but there are gifts to be wrapped, but there are clothes that need ironed, but there are sheets that need stripped, but there are my children that need my attention, but there is dinner to be prepared, but...

It's been awhile since I felt this way, and I really thought I was past acting like this...where I choose to just sit and do nothing but look at the piles and tasks and messes.

In semi-related news, I found out that eczema can be caused not only by allergies to foods and things that we can absorb physically in our environment (pollen, dust mites, dander etc), but that it can actually be caused by stress...

FarmWife knows why this is something on my mind...

And now, I'll be logging off (hopefully not for 11 days again) and getting my world back in some semblance of order! I'll not have Santa break his neck trying to deliver presents and tripping over all the things in my house!

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