October 21, 2010

Is There Such a Thing as A Half-Milestone?

If so, I feel as though I've reached one...

I went to my weigh-in with my Weight Loss Challenge group last night and have lost a total of 5.5 pound in just 6 weeks. I'm excited.

It may seem small to some of you, and to others it may be monumental. The weight is sort of slowly creeping off...not quite what I was hoping for, but I'll take it.

Someone once said that if women would be as kind to themselves as they are to others, there would be no eating disorders, no depression, no catty behavior...and I believe it!

I listened to the other ladies last night - one of whom is trying to battle a thyroid issue as well as lose weight that has crept on over the last months of straightening out her body chemistry. She was frustrated, near tears, and really struggling with a gain that showed on her scale. Others were sort of giving her the little pat on the shoulder and saying the platitudes that we often give others "Oh, it's just one week, you'll bounce back..." you know the things we say...I don't doubt the sincerity or the intention, but it was easy to tell that each of us was struggling in some way, crying out for the support and love and encouragement...and none of us could find a way past our own insecurities to say what needed to be said.

I finally walked over and quietly said into her ear how proud I was of her for being there, for sticking with her plan, and working hard each day! I told her how motivating she's been to me.

I don't know if it made a difference or not, but I hope it did on some level.

For myself, I know I didn't do so hot with my choices. I had fast food three times between Monday and last night...I had a Fivebucks Pumpkin Spice Latte (no matter that it was the Tall - it still has 370 calories!), I had too much of even the good food we have in the house. I didn't work out, I slacked off, and it showed in that -1.5 lbs.

I'm not complaining because I know I made bad choices in light of my goal of losing weight...but, I can take responsibility for that. I know I made those choices. I know why it was only -1.5...and I took some time today to really look at what I'm being challenged to do this week...

I've been challenged to keep my caloric intake at a certain level, which I cannot, in good conscience do while I'm breastfeed Littlest One. I need to talk to the owner this week about that and tell him that I'm changing my calories, dropping them by 300, but will still be above the number he gave us...

It is a bit frustrating to me, watching a few of these girls purchase supplements that help them burn fat more efficiently, having protein that keeps them satisfied for up to 4 hours but only has 118 calories in it...knowing that they have memberships to gyms that have crazy classes. Knowing that their lives are such that they can just pack up and go work out at the drop of a hat...

I know that our financial goals are just as important as our health and fitness goals. What good is it to have a rocking body if you're in debt up to your eyeballs? And, on the flip side, what good is it be living like no one else, if I'm too jacked from weight-related diseases to enjoying living like no one else when we're truly debt-free?

I took today off completely. I ate a bit emotionally, had those "comfort foods" that didn't really end up comforting me - in fact, I'm fighting a bit of an upset stomach from the grease and fat I ingested in the form of "goodies" blech...my head hurts, my muscles ache, I'm physically tired.

Today, the kids were a bit cranky. OK, they were crazy cranky! I'm emotionally and mentally drained.

My house is very cluttered and disorganized right now as I'm in the process of doing some work on some projects I'd been procrastinating on...the floor is sticky, the laundry is not put away.

Very unlike me, but I'm not feeling any motivation today. I think I just needed a day to be off...

SO, tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes yet made, no harsh words spoken.

I have grand plans...I WILL achieve the top 5 on my list of things to do.

I WILL have a great weekend, spending time with my family, enjoying my kids and our gorgeous fall weather before the cold spell and storm system moves in on Monday night.

I have 6 days to reach a goal with my weight, and I'm giving myself 2 days to finish my project and get my house back to rights.

I need to get rid of the mental and physical clutter. But first...I need a good night's sleep...

1 comment:

Penny said...

I am right there with you...I started a weight loss program on Oct 1st..I am seeing some improvement in my clothing, but wont know the exact loss until I go back to my doctor on the 29th..she is wanting to keep track of my blood pressure..we too would love to do the gym membership thing, but alas, the checkbook has the final say.. why is it that? oh well...I hope for you a better day today, a wonderful weekend, full of family and memory making moments..enjoy your kids..and all the rest will fall into place...