October 08, 2009

It Was a Dark and Stormy Mid-Day

Somehow that doesn't have quite the same ring to it as the "real" line so overused...bummer.

It is currently COLD outside...like not quite 40 degrees, and has been alternating between mist, drizzle, and flat out rain since sometime late last night/early this morning.

We were a few minutes late to school this morning, as I overslept by 10 freaking minutes...somehow that 10 minutes threw us off schedule by over 30 minutes at the end...OY! How does that translate? I was ready before 7:30, and had the kids, up, dressed, and eating breakfast before 8am. I made BB's lunch (ok, I threw leftovers into containers and into his lunch bag), and took care of the animals. We put on shoes, and coats, and headed to the car. Suddenly, I realized it was 5 til 9. It takes us 15 minutes to get to the Church due to the stoplights along our route. School starts at 9. Needless to say I was a bit concerned as we backed out the driveway and wound our way through the neighborhood to the main streets.

We arrived at 9:03, which, all things considered is not bad. However, by the time I unloaded the kids, gathered diaper bag, backpack, and my "coffee" (which is really just hot milk with some sugar and teensy splash of coffee these days), and got in the doors and down the hall, we were 7 minutes late...grrrrrr...I hate being late to things, especially when it affects the kids...sigh.

SO...I dropped off Capt to school, Tiny Princess to her class for Moms' Group, took care of my duties there, and loaded up a plate of goodies, and oh my there were goodies this morning! and sat down. We had a speaker talk to us about intimacy in marriage after the kids come along and some ways we can help to assist that and why we, as wives, should be proactive and initiate things. It was good, it was embarrassing (mostly to think of the other ladies in the room, and hear some of their situations), it was informative, and it was refreshing to hear a woman who was the mother of 2 grown children in college still struggling to find ways to be comfortable and willing and invested in physical intimacy in her marriage. I guess you just sort of think that after the kids are grown, you'll suddenly do all these things that you don't do now...you'll have energy to garden and travel, and have sex more, and cook like they do on the TV shows...

At any rate, it's time for me to finish up lunch, and get the kiddos down for a nap...then I've got several things to do.

One of the tips, in case you're curious, was to make the effort to just tidy up the house a bit, and get as much dinner preparation out of the way early in the morning or afternoon as you can, so when your husband does arrive home, it's to a calm place, and things are going smoothly, so you can have a restful evening and bedtime for the kids.

I chuckled, as it reminded me of that famed article from the 50's about "the good wife" that changes into a "clean frock and dabs some perfume on, freshens her hair and lipstick"...
But I get it...if you're not chasing through a disaster zone after screaming banshees that are normally your children, you're more likely to be relaxed and willing to entertain the idea of sex.

I know that some of you may not want to hear this, for a multitude of reasons, and I'm sorry for that...but I know that whatever level of intimacy I can share with BB makes for a big difference in our house...the saying goes "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Well, I contend that if the "king of the castle" is feeling unloved and unappreciated, everyone else is cranky and irritable...so think about it...in what way can you place your spouses' needs ahead of your own today?


Anonymous said...

My Dad told all of us girls.. If you treat your husband like a King, he has no other choice than to treat you as his Queen.. It worked for him.. He and my Mom were married for 56 yrs. until he passed..

Inkling said...

That is so true. I think when I talked about how my injuries have wrecked that part of our marriage that was when the tears in the room started. I think it came about specifically when I said, "My husband here is a faithful, God-fearing man who patiently loves me, but what about those women who experience injuries like mine and do not have husbands like that? What then? How do they survive living as roommates for nine months and counting?" And when the head of the hospital said "it must be difficult" when I spoke about intimacy, and I interrupted and clearly said it was "impossible", they realized how great a cost this has levied for our family.

As for getting the house somewhat tidied and dinner ready....yes, I can see how that makes a difference. Currently though, I'd just like my son to go down for a nap that would enable me to get out of my pajamas and showered. That is one area I'm not doing well at all, but I'm not sure how to balance utter exhaustion with getting showered and getting chores done during his two short naps (when I'm lucky enough to have them actually happen). The other day i let him cry in his crib for over 30 minutes just so I could get showered and a few loads of laundry accomplished. There has to be a better way, and there has to be a better way for me to keep up my energy without having to use up one of his precious naptimes for a nap of my own. Any suggestions? (if they involve margaritas, all the better ;))