On Sunday, my family enjoyed dinner out a local chain steak house. I ordered a steak, BB ordered a steak, mom ordered a steak, DesignerMan ordered steak, Dad ordered ribs...we ordered a hot dog from the kids' menu for Captain Chaos, and Chicken Tenders for Tiny Princess.
Mom was sitting next to Captain Chaos who was strategically placed in the corner of the booth, away from any distractions and/or temptations. Mom cut up the hot dog into toddler-bite-sized pieces and gave the boy his fork to "stick" his hot dog pieces, dip them into ketchup, and eat them.
We enjoyed our dinner, had good conversation, and prepared to leave the restaurant some time later.
On my way to the door, being the last to leave the general area (making sure we didn't leave any crucial items behind), a random stranger which I had never before in my life seen approached me and began to berate and belittle me, in a loud manner, calling me unfit, bad, and "a menace to society" for feeding my toddler a hot dog.
Seeing as she was standing between the door and myself, and I was laden with a wriggling 14 month old, diaper bag, and leftovers in boxes, I simply stood, silent, until her tirade began to wane. I merely smiled at her, said thank you for the advice, and to have a nice afternoon, sort of shouldered through her, and left the restaurant.
Now, let me assure you, I am fully aware of the choking hazards presented by food to children. I grew up in a house where I don't think I was allowed to eat a hot dog on a bun until I was in 2nd grade...and was taught by my mother (who was an RN) to be careful about the size of the bite of food on your utensil, and to chew carefully, not to run, play, or talk while my mouth was full of said food, and to insure that I had swallowed my food before attempting to talk, take a drink, or inhale sharply through my mouth.
I was more amused than anything, as I know full well that Captain Chaos was surrounded by attentive people who are trained and certified in CPR, including pediatric CPR. We all have cell phones with strong signals in that restaurant, and at no point was Captain Chaos in any danger, other than that of discipline for not following our table rules and good manners...
I realize that children choke on things that get put into their mouths, including, but not limited to, food.
I realize that this is a serious danger to adults too.
But do random strangers really think it is ok to call people names, swear, and accuse them of being negligent, based on what they see from across a crowded restaurant?
OY!
You want to know what else makes me a bad mom? I leave my children unattended in our family room, with outlet covers, safety latches, and gates that are screwed into structural portions of our house, so I can go pee. I turn my back on them in the tub to place the shampoo and soap on the countertop, which keeps them from attempting to drink the bottle of blue J&J shampoo, and soap that "smells like cookies!"
Oh, and just the other day? I let Captain Chaos put the flatware on the table for the night we were having stew and fresh-baked rolls...you should have seen the terror in his eyes at the sight of those soup spoons!
Shhh...don't tell anyone that I routinely let him play in our basement without my supervision...
Watch out...this Mama is a menace to society, what with all my fostering of independence and free-thinking, and responsibility that we practice!
Now, before you go calling the authorities on me, rest assured that I never place my children in danger...and that countertop is in front of a mirror that provides a clear view of the tub, the setting of flatware is something he loves doing to help me, and the basement has a monitor, and I am up and down the stairs every 30 minutes at the most to check on him...
But, I do encourage him to do things for himself, such as opening his container of Legos, pulling up his pants and putting on his shirt...sometimes? he even puts the flatware into the drawer after the dishwasher has cooled down, and he stirs the muffin mix, and helps scoop out cookie dough...darn me and my crazy, wicked ways!
5 comments:
Oh honey, you handled this with much more grace than I would have. I fear I'd have laid the woman out in a crowded restaraunt. People can be unbeliveably stupid sometimes.
Guess what, I let my children routinely eat grapes, rasins, and hot dogs. Oy. I may go straight to hades for that.
When I was preg. with BabyGirl a woman at K-mart told me about a trip to the air port with her 12 month old. He was very tall for his age. Very tall (he was 6'7" or so when he was full grown). He was in his stroller drinking his bottle when a total stranger walked up, took it out of his mouth, an THREW IT IN THE TRASH!!! She then berated the mother for letting her "three year old suck on a bottle like that!" The mother calmly expalined that he was a year old & was exceptionally tall for his age. The offending "do-gooder" then went & purchased a new bottle & had it filled to give back to the baby. If it had been me, I'm pretty sure airport security would have to have been called.
You know, I always had a sneaking suspicion about you, Kork.Personally I liquidise all my childrens food and insist on feeding them intravenously.They may be 9 & 11, but I think safety first is a good motto.I am amazed that you go as far as to bath your children... surely all that water could cause premature rusting of their young skins and possibly even mould?? Seriously though... have people not got better things to do with their lives?You keep doing what you're doing ...you sound like a good mum to me. Sarah x
Oh Farmie! I forgot ALL ABOUT the raisins...and don't get me started on the fact that Capt Chaos eats in front of the television sometimes!
And Sarah - I never thought about the rust and mould from bathing, or feeding the through IV...huh...just another area in which I fail I suppose?!@?!?!
HEE HEE...I do so hope this made you all chuckle a bit.
it is totally amazing to me that other people think they should tell you how to raise and take care of your own children?? Unless there is OBVIOUS abuse, I think we need to worry about our own families. I agree with Farm Wife, you handled that much better than I would have! good for you! and I will put that person on my prayer list today....
Geez, I wish I'd been there to deck her for you.
I'm a bad mom too. Thanks to GERD, my baby sleeps on his tummy. And the other day, I let him suck my grandma's applesauce off of my finger. Oh, and I don't sterilize his soothers, medicine droppers, or bottles after the first time we use them. I let him nap on the couch and our bed, and sometimes I actually walk away for a minute. And what's even worse, sometimes he sleeps with us in our bed.
If there's a club for mothers like you, I'll join it. =) You are a great mom, and anyone who has read your blog or met you knows that to be very true.
Gee, I still wish I could have just jammed a hotdog down her throat to ask her to demonstrate what she means.
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