Following Up

First and foremost - thank you for the support! I mentioned in an email to someone that it takes a little longer for my heart to really believe and know the way my head does...

I'm feeling a bit better this morning, and will be checking out some online resources to assist me...

I'm calling my family doctor to schedule a "real" physical, and will then consult with a dietician...regardless of whether or not my insurance will cover it.

One of you had a superb idea to see about getting something written as a prescription (like the membership to a gym, or Weight Watchers or something)...it'll not only be much less expensive, but could potentially be a tax write-off.

I've had a heart-to-heart with BB about my struggles with "just eating less, and doing more" as he's suggested several times...and I know that he's not trying to be hateful, or mean, or to hold me back in any way shape or form...in fact, he's doing just the opposite, and is trying so hard to encourage me...he's just not doing it in a way that is actually encouraging. I talked to him about this, and we're working on it.

I had fooled myself into how well I was doing, and, as I mentioned to someone in an email, I thought I knew all the answers...how to cook healthfully, how to make tasty meals that are low-fat, lower calorie, and healthy. We eat organic whenever possible. I make things from scratch to avoid refined ingredients. I grow a crazy veggie garden so we know we're getting truly organic produce. I drink water. I don't drink alcohol, I don't smoke. I work out...so how is it possible that I'm struggling with this?!?!?!?!

I know that I'll be talking to the doc about thyroid levels (thank you Farmie), just to make sure there's nothing going on there that's abnormal, and who knows?! When I get blood drawn this time around, something may show up that hasn't in the past!

I know there's an answer for me out there, and it could be as simple as "stop eating cheese" (which may just kill me as I'm a serious addict to all things dairy), or, it could be "you must follow this strict regimen...do not deviate"...

I know that no matter what, all of you out there are rooting for me, praying for me to find my answers, and make them work in my life.

I'm off to put Tiny Princess down for her morning nap, clean up after breakfast, get myself dressed and ready for the day, and pack a healthy picnic lunch for the kids and I. BB's office is doing a "Quarterly Event" and it happens to be a picnic at a local park, so we're going to go join him for lunch and to play on the playground! It is a gloriously sunny day, the sky is blue, and the mountains are shimmering in the distance with a tiny bit of new snow on their tops...and I'm determined to not wallow in this self-pity any longer!

I get my bicycle back tomorrow morning, and intend to ride baby ride!