January 15, 2008

Another Day Closer

No baby yet. That's a mostly good thing! I am technically only 38 weeks, 5 days, and I know that each day closer to 40 weeks means the baby will be that much better off as far as lung health, and all that jazz...although part of me wonders just how much difference that really makes at this point...but it is a moot point I guess.

Of course, now that I've cleaned, washed, ironed, vacuumed and dusted everything in my house that can be...the only I've left to do is buy some groceries, bake some more of my yummy sourdough bread (did I post that on Wha'cha got Cookin'?), and maybe tackle some cookies...hmmmm...chocolate chip cookies...

I just heard that one of the ladies in our Moms' Group had her 3rd about 12 days ago...the baby is healthy, and mom is doing well...but her other 2 are only 3 and 1 years old...at least the 3 year old has a cold, and all he wants to do is lay around and watch videos. Her husband could only take 3 days off, so she's been on her own for almost 2 weeks with no help...pray that she'll be able to rest as much as she needs to, and that the 1 year old and baby will stay healthy!

As we get another hour closer to next Tuesday, I waffle between anxiety, fear, joy, and flat out exhaustion...I'm trying to focus on the joy, and put the other feelings aside, or try all that self-help talk and turn my negative thoughts into positive ones, but to be honest, I am sometimes paralyzed by the fear of all the things that could possibly go wrong. It is for this reason that I sometimes HATE the internet and all the shows that are "educational and entertaining" like "A Baby Story" or "Special Delivery"...you know the ones...they focus on the labor and delivery, but you never know which ones will turn out with bad things happening...and then you can't look away...can't change the channel...can't stop reading the website's information about all the cases of horrible things happening...and then they're stuck in your head no matter what you do.

It is at this point, that I wish I could only have FarmWife's earworms in my head...heck, I'd even take the Howdy Doody theme song at that point. Anything to get all the bad things out of my head.

I can't imagine what it would be like to have something go wrong with either myself, or the new baby. Watching Captain Chaos last year, go through his ordeal with Kawasaki's Disease was the worst thing I ever want to experience...that almost broke me...

Please be praying that I will be filled with peace, and joy, and that I will be able to shake off this pre-natal funk.

1 comment:

FarmWife said...

I'm praying...I know that feeling well. We had scares during my pregnancies with both the boys and it seems that once your mind starts down that road, it's hard to reign it back in.

I'll also be praying for your friend. When B.B. was born, BabyGirl was 3 & #1 Son was 15 months. We brought B.B. home & 2 days later BabyGirl got very sick. Strep & a severe sinus infection. I was terrified B.B. would get it, but she kept her germs to herself.