January 10, 2008

12 Days...and Counting

I had a check-up today...no change, but everything looks good.

The doctor asked "THE QUESTION", and I was really wishing she hadn't...since BB is full on meetings, and projects that have to be done before the end of the month, he's sort of scrambling to get things done, just in case we don't last until the 22nd...so Mom was with me today, while Daddy watched Captain Chaos. After she asked all the questions, and reviewed everything with me, talked about paperwork to fill out next week with BB, and before she checked me, she said "Now, do you want to go ahead and do the tubal ligation on the 22nd, while we're already there?" I said, "we haven't decided that yet, but are talking about it". She simply said that it was a big decision, but she'd need to know at our next appointment.

Here is my dilemma...BB is seriously thinking we're done with 2 kids. And I'm honestly not sure if he is thinking from any other perspective than the financial one or not! I do not want to be done...at least, I want to know that we have the option of having more if we change our minds in 2 years...

I'm seriously looking for how you all made your decisions, and would please, please, PLEASE ask that you seriously consider sharing whatever you're comfortable...we're praying about it, but I truly don't want this to be a divisive issue for BB and me. I don't him to be forever resentful that we have 4 kids, and no money, while at the same time, I don't want to be resentful that we only have 2, while I wanted 4 all along...HELP!!!!

3 comments:

Ang said...

After 7 miscarriages my husband said that he was getting neutered. he didn't want me to experience another misscarriage. He was afraid it would kill me. That was 3 years after bugaboo was born. We've talked about him having his procedure reveresed but feel now the kids are too old to have a sibbling that young. (Oldest is 14, youngest is 6)

I would ask your dr. which procedure is easier to reverse if you should change your mind later. Maybe that would help in your determination?

Inkling said...

Obviously, I should keep quiet here as we don't have any children yet, and I have no idea how pregnancies will go for me. But....

I did do some research regarding this issue when we were first deciding what form of birth control we'd use. I even read the "Catholic" book on Natural Family Planning, and explored the various websites they have. Once I got past their opinion about practically everything being a "sin", I did have to say that their opening the possibility of either permanent procedure being a long-term safe option (tubal ligation/vasectomy) was enough to make us want to pursue other options.

One book that I absolutely love, and think every woman should read is "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Tony Weschler (sp?). She is a great author, and I had no idea my body was designed in such a way. She teaches the fertility awareness method. And to be perfectly blunt, she helps you make it really easy to know how to keep from conception if that isn't something you want to do. My only question will be what that will look like once we have our first and I'm nursing, and if the "symptoms" will be the same. But as it stands now, I love the fact that we can rest knowing that we aren't putting anything artificial/medical/hormonal/etc. in our bodies to prevent pregnancy. I may get tired of doing this until menopause, but for now, it seems like a great and healthy option for us.

May I just be blunt? Unless your pregnancies have been horribly difficult and your marriage would be severely negatively impacted, you just seem so young to be considering such a permanent and invasive solution. I'm with you on wondering if you might resent having done that at this point in your life. I'd be afraid of that too. But I'm not you, and only you can know what is best for you. So I'll be quiet now. And please know that if anything in this comment reminds you of someone sticking their foot all the way down their throat and out the other end, I totally apologize for that. Please know that wasn't my intent.

Kork said...

Thanks Ang and Inkling...and no foot in mouth! Promise! I appreciate your input...now I just have to determine if BB is truly serious with his other reasons...I just still have the lurking feeling that this new baby does not complete as a family...

As for the idea of an extra bit of surgery? Scares me silly...almost as much as the side effect of the nasty hormones and other drugs we can use...

Keep praying for us, that we'll know which is the right option for us!