A Little Anxiety

We woke this morning to another 4 inches of fresh snow. I'm excited, yet at the same time, suddenly, and very unlike myself, deathly afraid that I'm going to get snowed in, and have my water break. Early...when BB is not around...

All I can say to that is UGH!!!

To top it all off, we received word that my adopted sister, whom I don't much want to claim (I'm working on the whole grace thing with this one, trust me), and rarely talk about, has finally entered rehab on her own.

Some time ago, around 10 years or so, she got involved with some folks here that were into drugs. At first it was "just a joint", then it turned into some pretty heavy stuff. My parents, after years of taking her to therapy, sending her to a special Christian Children's home, and more years of heartache and hurt than I care to dwell upon, basically said "Shape up, or Ship Out!" She took that at face value, cleaned out her bank accounts, and hopped a bus to Chi-Town, where she said she'd enter rehab. After that didn't happen, we'd only hear from her when she was in the Cook County correctional facilities, and needed money to bail herself out. After several collect calls, that were denied by myself and my folks, she took to calling Preacher Man and his family. After they ended up with a $400 phone bill one month, they bought a pre-paid cell phone for her. That ended up in someone else's hands, most likely for drugs.

After a string of not knowing where she was, what she was doing etc etc, we got a call from her in which she proudly announced she was pregnant. She had a girl, about 6 weeks early, that was drug exposed, and in bad shape. She was able to take the baby home, and in about 3 months, was pregnant again, in jail again, and stoned out of her wits on whatever substance she could get. The 2nd baby was born, drug exposed, and this time the courts stepped in to say she couldn't take him home. In fact, both children were removed from her care, and placed into a foster home. Still being more into the drugs than what was happening around her, she continued to stay with the father of the children, being abused, being sold for drug money, and God only knows what else (I know I don't want to know what's going on beyond the little we find out).

About 4 weeks ago, PreacherMan got a call from the case worker that took care of the 2 children and my sister, saying that she'd entered rehab of her own volition, and was hoping that she'd be able to keep her new baby as a result.

The program allows no outside contact for several weeks, if not months, at which point she then has to write letters of apology to the family members that she hurt by her choices, and at some point, she will then be allowed to make a few supervised calls. At some point, we assume, if she is successful, she'll be able to regain custody of her newest child, who was also drug exposed.

The scary thing to me is the reason she is in rehab. Is it because of the new baby? Is it because her pimp/dealer/boyfriend is getting out of prison again, and she's afraid to be where he can find her? Or, as we all hope, is it because she's had a long enough time away from drugs to realize what she's been doing, and doesn't like it, and doesn't want to go back???

At any rate...please pray for her safety, her healing from the addictions, abuse, and whatever else she's been through over the last 2 years. Pray that she will be in rehab because that's where she knows she needs to be.

Most importantly, pray for my mom, and myself that we'll be able to be grace-full toward her when she contacts us. Pray that we'll be able to truly turn it over, and find forgiveness for ourselves, and be able to offer it to her when she asks for it.