November 30, 2012

Glinda the Good Witch Had it Spot On!

There really is no place like home...being in our own space with our own items, our own taste of decorating...our own beds, our own shower...

The odd thing is that BB and I both agreed this time that our house just seems warmer...our thermostat is set the same as it is at the in-laws, and our house is twice the size of theirs (if not larger), but our home just feels warm...as in, I'm wearing a short-sleeved T-Shirt and jeans today, where last week, on a very similar day, I was bundled up in a long-sleeved T-shirt, a pullover sweater, and snuggled up on the couch with the kids because we were freezing...

Granted, our house is a "stick-built" home, and theirs is a "factory-built modular"...but I've been in other homes like that and not felt cold...in the same neighborhood...so I know it's not just construction.

It seems odd to me that something like the color of your pain, furniture and carpets can create a different feel in a home, but odder still that just the people in the house make it feel more different yet.

We had a relatively calm visit.  It rained (ok, it was truly blowing the rain sideways!) for 4 days straight...and then we had a mix of showers, full-on rain, and one truly dry day.  We helped put up outdoor lights and decorations, baked cookies, made pies, made the family recipe dressing for Thanksgiving, put up some indoor decorations, and MIL's tree.  We colored, we drew, we read books, played games, did puzzles, and tried not to get in anyone's way.

Sunday, mid morning, BB came in to find me, after I'd just started our laundry (I hate coming home with dirty clothes in my suitcase), to inform me that we might be leaving a day early...

In the past, I've mentioned my MIL's personality and how it can be so very difficult to deal with...how she gossips and talks trash about anyone that's not in the room with them...and we've often wondered what she says about us when we're not there...

BB had gone to his dad's workshop, and MIL and her best friend had gone out to the garage to smoke, and he overheard an entire conversation in which his own mother had nothing complimentary to say about any of us...even the kids.

And it's weird, but you can say anything about me that you want, call me names, tell lies...but the instant you start talking bad about my husband or kids, you'd better watch out...

So, he continued what he was doing, took the time to pray about what to do (we were staying in their home and our flight wasn't until the next afternoon) - should he say something, and if so, what and how?

He came in while I was getting ready to go to lunch with his Grandmother, and starting to organize and pack our things, and told me what had occurred.

We agreed that we'd stay through lunch to finish washing our clothes and have lunch with his Grandmother, but if she didn't apologize we'd be leaving after lunch and would stay overnight in a hotel in Portland.

I went so far as to tell him that I'd skip lunch with his Grandmother so he could drop me at a laundromat and I'd finish our laundry and pack there and he could get me after lunch and then we'd go.

I've never been so hurt or angry before...

She apologized - to him, stating that it was because she'd been so overwhelmed the day before and was exhausted and when she gets really tired like that she gets depressed and that's how she copes.

I'm not knocking the fact that she may suffer from depression.  I get that.

I'm not sure I buy that as the reason she was telling her best friend what a lousy son and daughter-in-law we were, and how our children are spoiled brats and we didn't lift a finger to do anything to help out, that she and FIL had to do everything...

And I'm not sure I'll be ready to go back next summer, or even next Christmas.

I know my biological family isn't perfect, we have our issues, but of all the folks in my family, my parents are the ones most likely to defend their children to everyone.

Sure it's hard having the number of people in your house triple, and have 1/3 of those people be energetic, young children that want to run and jump and ride bikes and play loudly.  Sure it's tough having your grocery and utility bills increase a LOT...but if it's really that difficult, maybe they should just tell us to stay in a hotel next time...

That said, coming home was glorious!

Sure, it's cluttered and dusty right now, and I've got mountains of bedding and laundry to wash, dry, fold and put away, floors to wash...but it's ours...no one here is going to tell my kids they're lazy for not getting their toys put away perfectly in a bin...

I'm looking forward to Advent starting this weekend, glad to start our calendar (which I've GOT to finish tonight so we can start it tomorrow), and Princess dances tomorrow, and then we have concerts and caroling, and cookie parties...

It's sunny and 60, and my doors and windows are open letting in clean and fresh air...I'm blessed beyond measure, and while my heart still hurts just a bit, I know that what she said isn't true, and I'm trying to rest in the knowledge that the One who needs to know, knows the truth about that visit.

1 comment:

Penny said...

there's no place like home..there's no place like home!!