June 06, 2012

Aesop Was Right

Slow and steady really does win some races (unless it's a 50-yard dash, in which case, you're totally sunk!)!!

BB and I have had some of the best conversation these last days since I discovered what's been going on with our finances...and thank you ALL for the encouragement and support...it's nice to know I've got a safe place I can come blow my top...

Since discovering what's been going on, he's come up with a plan to repay the family the money that was spent.  I took ALL our credit cards, made sure the accounts we aren't using are CLOSED, and cut up the cards.  I took the cards from both our wallets that we use for online purchases (the one in question), and, a la "Shopaholic", sunk them into a plastic container full of water (I filled it partway and froze the water, then dropped our cards in, covered them the rest of the way with water and froze it the rest of the way), and popped them into the farthest reaches of my deep freeze, which is locked, and BB doesn't know where I put the key...

We are actually in process of changing the account number, because we both have it memorized, along with that cute little security code on the back, so not having them in our wallets doesn't really do much good at this point...

We discovered, in the process of this, that somehow, we'd missed out on a $200 surplus each month...so we don't have our buckets completely emptied, but you can see the bottom peeking through...

I am incredibly grateful that we are in the position we are - BB has a good job that he loves, that pays him very handsomely, which affords us the luxury of my staying home to be "just a mom and wife", and work as I feel compelled at my Mary Kay business...we are healthy, we have no underlying medical conditions, no allergies, no genetic disorders, not even bad vision really...BB has awesome medical, dental, and vision insurance through his employer, which is performing stronger and stronger every fiscal quarter, which provides job security, which continues the cycle above...we committed 30 months ago to living debt free, and are currently only paying a mortgage - the rest of BB's income goes directly to our cost of living, college and retirement funds, new car funds and the like...

I cannot imagine how things would be if this had occurred prior to our starting the Financial Peace University and paying off all our consumer debt...

I meant it when I said I'd never leave BB - I just don't think there's anything that would make me stop loving him (I might not like his actions, but I'll always love him), nothing that's irreparable...

Things are still a bit strained between us - he feels badly, guilty, convicted, and a bit like a child right now.  I'm struggling to find that balance between accountability and mothering...I know he needs oversight, and someone making sure he's not falling back to that behavior, but I also know he doesn't need me breathing down his neck, watching every move he makes...it's a fine line to walk...and I can't imagine having to do this with my children, and pray more fervently now that they will choose wisely their actions and behaviors, so as not to fall into any addictive or destructive lifestyles.  I know what it did to my sister, and more, what it did to my parents...

Thanks again for all your support, encouragement, and prayers...keep it coming!

1 comment:

Inkling said...

Holy cow. You are one gracious woman. And very self controlled. I'd have been tempted to plot ways to be able to use the life insurance without getting caught.

I hope things continue to improve and that you guys continue to grow a solid marriage. (marriage is way harder than singleness was, and I thought singleness was brutal)

If it's any consolation, I'm rereading a novel about Bach (some is accurate, some speculation), and even he had issues like BB and a longsuffering wife like you. So at least you can know that you aren't alone.