I know that I may have said this before, but I know that things have got to change quite a bit for myself.
I've spent the last several months (maybe even longer) miserable - angry, feeling taken advantage of, abused, as though I was a martyr...that somehow, I was the only one doing anything worthwhile in this family...
Yeah, not so much. But really, that's how I felt.
I was short-tempered with the kids, angry at BB, standoffish, withdrawn...I was a not mess.
So needless to say, things are new around here for me...
I hate the fact that seem to keep finding myself in this position...that somehow, I'm weak, or lazy, or both...that for whatever reason, I keep finding myself doing the things I don't want to do.
I may not be drinking alcohol, or doing drugs, or compulsively shopping, or cheating on BB...but in my heart, I'm not any better because I choose to sit around surfing the Internet, reading blogs, checking news sites, or Facebook 80 million times each day...
It's ironic, really. I spend my time vocalizing about hating my electronic tether, my "leash" of a cellphone...and then, as soon as I have a moment wherein my kids are "settled" (read - watching television), I immediately hop online.
And so, today, I began a new lifestyle.
I sat down last night, and made up a new "schedule" for my career as "mom".
It may sound corny, but honestly, I need the structure. Obviously, if left to my own devices, I would much rather do the "fun" things, and not the "boring" things.
Some days, I guess I'd much rather still be the kid, at home, with my own mom taking care of the things like laundry, meals, cleaning...but who of us wouldn't? Maybe not your own mom, but some mom that was cool in the manner of letting you just hang out and read one more chapter, or play one more level, or whatever...
Anyway, It's nice to hit the reset button sometimes...
And my new week looks like a bit like this, with plenty of time for doing things with the kids:
Monday - 2nd floor cleaning, whole house tidy - changing beds and towels, cleaning bathrooms, vacuum bedrooms, and making sure that all the toys, books, magazines, tools etc are put away.
Tuesday - 1st floor cleaning, trash/recycle - dusting, vacuuming, cleaning kitchen thoroughly
Wednesday - baking, ironing
Thursday - errands
Friday - laundry, whole house tidy - making sure everything is ready for the weekend's projects/plans
Knowing that I have these things each day means I have something specific to do that will take the time in which Captain is away at school. This means that I have afternoons free to do almost anything - play games, read stories, paint, have tea parties, build Lego creations, play Transformers...and it also leaves time while the kids nap for me to get something special done each day - scrapbook pages, sewing projects, purging paperwork, meal planning, prepping a room for a makeover that requires more than a coat of paint and new fixtures...
It might sound crazy, but I guess I'm a lot more OCD than I care to admit...
And so, I'm off to make some Crispy Orange Roughy, mashed potatoes, and steamed broccoli for dinner. I even have time (and an awesome oven) to throw in a batch of brownies for dessert.
1 comment:
I love the idea of thinking of motherhood and homemaking as a profession. I really hope it all works for you. Keep us informed!
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