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May 11, 2009

Keeping My Head Above the Water

No, I'm not talking about swimming...I am talking about not drowning myself in pity today...

Yesterday, as my US readers know, was Mothers' Day. That generally means that dad's and children everywhere, no matter their ages, treat the mothers in their lives with special care...cards, flowers, candy, jewelry, spa days, meals prepared, generally trying to make their mothers feel like royalty for just one day of the year.

We had a great time with my family. Daddy, BB and my brother were in charge of dinner...all the preparation, planning, cooking and cleaning...Mom and I didn't do anything but enjoy it!

I got a cute card from my brother that made me laugh. BB picked out beautiful cards on behalf of himself and the kiddos. He got me a gorgeous bouquet of flowers.

Why, then, am I struggling to stay on the deck of the pity pool, you ask?

Let me tell you...Daddy called BB on Monday last week to discuss menu and the "plan" for Sunday. On Friday, after we took Captain Chaos in for a follow-up with our pediatrician, we headed to our Super Tar.get for a "quick" pick-up of items that we needed...Capt needed some stuff to help dissolve the large amount of wax in his right ear that was beyond safe reach of a Q-tip, and something that he could take daily to assist with his BMs. That was it.

Instead, I found myself wandering through Tar.get at 5:30 on a Friday night, that was payday for many of the shoppers...last minute pick-ups of cards for Mothers' Day (I mailed mine like a good granddaughter- and daughter-in-law, insuring that my MIL and Grandmas would get their cards in advance of Sunday, so they could actually open them on Sunday (what a concept eh?) I had picked out Mom's card and gift weeks ago, and had it wrapped and ready to present. The kids' outfits were selected.

SO...BB says "you should pick out cards" and I asked why, and he said "for Mothers' Day". I assumed he was joking until he said, "I should have left you at home and then I could have picked up the stuff I need for you."

It was 5pm on Friday night, and he hadn't even thought about what he was getting for me.

I was a little shocked, but then remembered that he'd been getting ready to be gone for work all this week, and kind of said whatever...

Until Sunday arrived, and I had the cards he picked out while I wandered through the cosmetics section, and the bouquet of flowers that he picked up while I was standing right there.

I am, needless to say, a bit disappointed. I wasn't expecting to be showered with diamonds or lavish gifts, but just the fact that he hadn't made an effort prior to Friday, on any of the multiple times that I wasn't with him to find cards and something to give me hurts. A lot.

To top it all off...I was sent out Saturday to select a graduation card for a dear friend of ours that just graduated with her Bachelor's degree, and as I'm walking to the car, he says "Oh! Could you pick up some potato salad or something for dinner tomorrow with your folks?"

Yup...this year, Mothers' Day was a bust for me personally, and I'm trying really really hard to remember that I at least had warm little bodies snuggled up to me and sticky kisses...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i didn't get a card, i didn't get a gift from my husband or two older kids.

saturday night i had a breakdown because of the disrespect i was getting from hubby and kids.son cleaned house.
sunday morning oldest(15-1/2) tried to make breakfast but burned eggs and peppers after two attempts. hubby ate them, and I wound up cooking my own breakfast and then making theirs.

my uncle and aunt came over and visited with us to see grandma.

mom gave me a card. and for the first time in 16 years of being a mother my father acknowleded I was one. and said happy mother's day to me..

my husband and kids argued and fought all day. And I jut wanted to crawl back into bed and die because again I was so disrespected.

so let's have a pity party together.

I'm so hurt that my husband couldn't even get a card for me. or my kids couldn't even make one for me.

but you can bet when it comes to their day i will be expected to go all out for them. and none of them will remember or know how I feel nor do they care