Happy New Year!!

Well, here we are, the beginning of 2009...I think that this year I may actually stick to those things I've decided to improve upon within myself...I will not call them resolutions, as I'm with FarmWife...I can't resolve to do things that most folks would consider normal...no listing of "get organized", "purge my household of unnecessary items", "lose weight" blah blah blah...

This year, however, I will pray that as God has given grace to me I will be able to give it to those who cross my path.

I was looking back over my posts from 2008, and I seemed to do a lot of whining and complaining. This is a lifelong habit that would really like to get out of. But, I know that I can't do it myself, and so, as I'm adding to my daily routine the items of being active (whether that is chasing the kids around, or doing "real" exercise to a video or whatever), spending time each day in the Word, and eating less junk, I've decided that part of my daily time with God will include actually writing down the things with which I'm struggling, my feelings, and then being able to release them. I've determined that for myself, if I see something in black and white (or blue, or whatever color I happen to be writing with), I am more able to let it go. There is this intrinsic part of me that says "it is written down on paper, I don't have to keep it in my head"...I also know that this will allow me to see how I'm truly dealing with, and holding things over the course of the days, weeks, and months.

I have also decided that this year I will not tell my children "in a minute, Mommy's busy" unless I am up to my elbows in health-endangering things such as cleaning products or raw meat...after spending time with my pre-teen nieces and nephews, I realize just how precious the time is that Capt Chaos wants to sit on my lap, and read with me. Or share his toys, or cookies, or just hug me.

I don't want to wake up and realize that I've lost time to hold and rock, and play and tickle, and laugh, and create with my children, and now have strangers in the bodies of teenagers that happen to eat, sleep, and shower at my house...

I want to spend more quality time with my parents, as a peer, not just as their daughter...to engage with them, share with them, love them, serve them, and care for them as they cared for me while I was a child.

I want to do memorable things for my family, like send cards, letters, notes, pictures...just because, not only for things like birthdays, or anniversaries, or "special" occasions, because, really, isn't each day that they are in my life special? and shouldn't I let then know that I am thinking about, praying for and loving them each day?

I want to actually finish a project before starting the next one...

I want to spend time on my hobbies, find things about which I am passionate...not just do things because people expect it.

I want to only buy those things for myself and my children which are absolutely necessary.

I want to go a year not buying anything new for myself, and make the most of the awesome consignment and thrift stores that we have around here...

More than that, I really want my new MP3 player to accept my freaking music, because if I have to manually reload all my CDs to my computer to get them to transfer, I shall be very unhappy...grrrrrrrr