Can't Have One Without the Other I Guess

I'm having a hard time being motivated today...you see, after all the shininess of my house, the done-ness of my laundry and ironing...and the finding out that we've got to find lots of money with which to pay for repairs on my truck, it's difficult to feel any sort of energy...

I'm frustrated at the dealer, I'm frustrated at a merchant from which we purchased something online which we are returning and must pay shipping for...I'm frustrated at myself for being frustrated.

All in all, it has been a not-so-good day...

I really let loose on Captain Chaos today...I'd had it up to my eyeballs with his whining over little things, but was not going to cave in and let him have his way...so I screamed, yes screamed, at him...made him cry, sent him to bed for his nap and was angry.

The worst of that situation is that he doesn't understand that I was angry with him, but not enough to have lost it like that.

I'm tired of not having money, because I feel like I'm the one who is encouraging our spending.


I am now going to turn all these things around and focus on the positive in an effort to snap myself out of this funk.

We have a truck, more, that means we have a 2nd vehicle, which means that I can run errands without having to drive BB to the office and then do my work and then go pick him up.

We have money enough to pay our mortgage, keep food in the house, clothing on our bodies, and no bill collectors are knocking on our door to get their money...we have money enough that we can actually say "let's go buy a new washer and dryer" and know that we can pay for it.

We have a sizeable enough income that I can stay at home and be mother to my 2 darling children, and wife to my amazing husband. That is a gigantic blessing.

We have space enough that I can hold appointments for my business in a completely separate area of the house from all our "public living spaces" and still allow my family to be around while I'm working.

I can turn on the television and watch one of hundreds of channels (although that is not a necessity, but a luxury). We have my parents close enough that they can be here in a matter of minutes.

I am currently sitting and staring at my list of items in the freezer and pantry to put together dinner, and am wondering why in the world I listed some things more than once...that was odd...to say the least...

Needless to say, I am incredibly blessed in so many ways. I need to STOP with the negative talking to myself about how unworthy and unlucky I am...because, frankly, it is just not true.

I feel much better now, and am going to go snuggle on the couch for a rare few minutes and read.