The Two Sides of My Mother, and Why I Need a Life-Coach...or something like that!

Ahhhhhh...how is it that my mother can at times make me feel like such a complete failure (ok, this is my own reaction, not her words or motives), and then, in the blink of an eye, make me feel loved, cherished, and appreciated and noticed?

Let me remind a bit...this weekend, BB spent the entire day Saturday in his shop, tinkering with the Green Monster. Now, I realize that this means that he was able to assemble it, and by the end of the day yesterday it was actually running, and he used it to cut a giant log that has been sitting in my garage for 18 months. While this is a good thing, and the shop is somewhat cleaned up, and we can now move the rest of the items from the garage into the shop...it irked me greatly that my husband seemed to want to spend his time with a piece of steel, some oil and grease, and his tools then with his son and daughter, let alone with me, his wife...

Add to that the fact that I have been attempting to get to the store to purchase some much needed clothing items for myself for several weeks now, and each attempt I make is derailed by something or other happening.

Add to that, the fact that Sunday morning, I was informed that my father was coming over to assist for a few minutes, and then BB was going to pick up items purchased at, you guessed it, an online auction! After he picked those up, he wanted to attend a local, live auction to "see if there was anything good" to try to buy.

My irritation with this is in part due to his time away, but mostly due to the fact that he has given me nothing but grief about going outside our budget on spending over the last months, but sees nothing wrong with dropping the amount of money that he has on the Green Monster and needed items to make it run, along with items purchased at auctions. We now have 3 bookcases a butler's style coffee table, and 2 cabinets that need to be primed and painted before they can be used, as they were cheap to begin with, and not well-treated. The items from this last auction are in fairly good shape and can be used with no work other than being cleaned well. However, we did not need new bookcases for the children's playroom, or cabinets, or stacks of burlap, or a steel worktable on wheels for the shop, or a cherry wood magazine rack, or ...and the list goes one.

What really irked me, is that he stayed home sick for 5 days total, during which he was unable to do so much as put his dirty clothes in the laundry hamper at the end of the day, or pick up his used tissues. SO...last week, I was not only taking care of 2 children under the age of 3, which includes, as you parents out there know, feeding, bathing, clothing, changing of diapers, playing with, soothing, carrying, loading into car seats, shopping carts, helping climb ladders, fixing train tracks, playing cars, building towers, and reading stories over and over and over again, I was also taking care of our home, including but not limited to washing, drying, folding, and putting away laundry, ironing, scrubbing toilets and showers, washing floors, cooking, dusting, vacuuming...I was ALSO taking care of my sick husband, which included providing food, beverages, and medication, providing tissues, picking up tissues, washing his dishes, picking up his clothes, running up and down the stairs for various items that he needed, and on the weekdays he was home, I was also charged with the next-to-impossible task of keeping said children quiet while he was on conference calls from his La-Z-Boy.

SO...on Wednesday he went to work, and worked Thursday and Friday from the office as well. By Saturday, I was ready for a break. A break from my house, from running errands that had a specific purpose, from making 3 meals a day for 4 people, feeding and caring for 3 animals, and the assorted housework tasks that went along with it.

Much to my chagrin, BB, as mentioned above, was absent the entire weekend.

I asked my father yesterday morning what my mother was doing, thinking that I would invite her to have coffee, and go to some stores mostly for fun, then have lunch. I was informed that she was "very busy" getting ready for all her classes and an upcoming retreat she was attending. I called, and she didn't answer the phone, so I assumed that she was indeed too busy to spend the morning with me.

I had myself a very nice pity party, and wasted an entire day in front of the television watching football, NASCAR, more football, and finally some epsiodes of Word World to appease Captain Chaos and his sense that anything other than football is acceptable television.

This morning, I woke up, got myself up, dressed in "scuzzy" clothes, fit only for working in my house and garden, knowing that I would be seeing no one except the children, feeling sort of sorry for myself still...mentioned to BB dejectedly that since the kids didn't care what I looked like, I was wearing whatever the heck I wanted.

I did my normal morning things of taking care of animals, children and husband in varying order and degree. After breakfast, the kids were playing. OK, Captain Chaos was playing with his cars and Tiny Princess was belly-crawling all over the floor, collecting dog and cat hair, chasing said dog and cats, having a grand old time. At about 10, I put her down for a nap, and plopped Captain Chaos in front of Playhouse Disney to watch Handy Manny while I vacuumed the upstairs, determined to get something done. I was almost done with my bedroom, the last room to be vacuumed, when I heard a knock on my bedroom door, which scared the pants off me, and turned to see my mom standing there smiling at me!

She had dropped by just to have tea with me. It was a much needed uplift, and we spent a grand total of 15 minutes actually sitting down. She saw my new patio set (purchased on crazy clearance 2 weeks ago), and helped me move some items around on my deck, read to Captain Chaos, and then said "Call me, and we'll get together next week. I'll help you pain the guest room, and get Captain Chaos' cars on his wall." Before she left, we had a good, heart to heart chat about our rough weekends, and it was good. I love my mom. She is the best friend I've got, hand down.

After she left, I rewound the TiVo, plopped Captain Chaos (who had played outside on the deck with us for 20 minutes or so) in front of the TV again (aren't I a good mom?), and finished my vacuuming. I got on a roll, and in one hour I:

• vacuumed the entire house, basement included
• dusted the furniture
• swept the hardwood floors
• cleaned off my kitchen catch-all, errrr...I mean counters
• washed said counters
• started the 2nd load of laundry
• cleaned the kids' bathroom
• sat down to pay 2 bills and read email

I have now sat at my computer for 35 minutes, and my family is in need of lunch. I think I shall change the diapers, and load up the kiddos in the car. I think we deserve a lunch at Wendy's or Arby's...mmmmmm Beef 'n Cheddar...Poppers....

OH - as an update, I have lost a total of 7 pounds. It never ceases to amaze me what doing something simple like cutting out soda and cookies can do...I have only worked out twice since posting about wanting to lose weight...I think I can do this after all, especially if I make as many "fast" trips up and down my stairs as I did this weekend!

GO me!