Ramblings

Well, here we are, almost to another weekend...where does the time go? I was thinking back to my summer vacation (brought about by hanging out with the neighbor kids this week), and remembering how it seemed that the time from school starting to Christmas Break (yes, it was actually called "Christmas" break...) seemed to take forever...and the time on that break was long also. I remember thinking about how loooong the summer days were as my friends and I would ride our bikes (sans helmets and protective gear) all over, to the mall, to the 7Eleven for Slurpees and Laffy Taffy, to the movie theater, to the McDonald's for cheeseburgers and ice cream cones...I remember begging to go to the public outdoor swimming pool to spend the hot part of the day, and then coming home burnt to a lobster-like hue, complain about how hot I was, and how much it hurt, and then begging to go back the next afternoon.

And when I got older, the begging would be to take the car to the bigger mall 20 miles away, down a (Gasp!) highway, and being mad when the parents said no...and instead, spending the day in the lounge chair on the patio in the sun...

And now, here I am, mother of 2 small children, and the days seem to speed by faster and faster...it truly does seem like only yesterday I was planning on breaking up with BB if he didn't get his act together...and instead, here we are, an old married couple...parents...

I am currently sitting and enjoying the eery silence of a house where the animals are still corralled in the basement (Rocco's kennel is down there and the cats sleep on top), and Tiny Princess actually went back to sleep at 6 this morning after her first breakfast, and Captain Chaos didn't nap so much yesterday, so he is still asleep...the sun is shining, it is already 64, and the clouds are burning off. I've been out for my run (third day in a row! Go Me!), showered, dressed, had breakfast and sent BB out the door to his dentist appointment.

I have 3 loads of laundry, and the general cleaning as some of the girls are coming over tomorrow night to do a "Spa Night" with me...pedicures, manicures, facials...food, fun and fellowship and its mostly free! Just the cost of my time to make sure the house is ready and to prepare some cookies or brownies or something yummy.

I'm thinking back to where I was 3 years ago, in tears over another month gone by with no prospect of ever having a baby...and the trip to a fertility specialist not yet even scheduled...only despair in my heart as I ached over each new announcement from our friends that they were having babies, and even more heartbreak as my little sister, unwed, with an abusive, drug-dealing boyfriend was pregnant yet again, discovered when she was processed into the jail, where she'd be staying for 90 days as a result of soliciting...

I heard the song "We Laughed Until We Cried" the other day as I was driving home from the grocery store, and couldn't help but relate to each verse of that song, as it spoke to my heart...

So I spent some time this morning really thinking about what I would do if I had the chance to go back to being a child or teenager and "doing it over"...I think I'd have to turn it down...because I don't think I'd like who I would end up being if I made different choices...

I also don't think I'd want to miss out on meeting Captain Chaos and Tiny Princess...they were totally worth the wait, and the tears, and the heartache...