December 23, 2007

The Moment of Truth

Alright...its time for a giant confession today...

As I'm sitting at my kitchen table, typing on my laptop, enjoying the sunny day and blue sky outside (knowing it is only about 30 degrees out, I'm feeling like crawling back into bed and crying my eyes out.

BB is in his shop making a storage cabinet for his tools and supplies, freeing up cabinet space for other tools and supplies. If you don't know anyone who has "a shop", you won't get why that is crucial, but if you do...you know what I'm talking about.

He's been out there since 9 this morning, as we didn't go to Church. The nursery has this rule (great when folks follow it) of "green or yellow snot and/or fever in the last 72 hours = Don't leave your kid with us". Great when people listen and follow, not so good when they don't...as people like us who follow it, then end up sick all at the same time...What that boils down to is we stayed home because Captain Chaos shared with us, and while we were feeling mostly better, the Captain is still dripping and oozing slightly yellow snot...

SO...BB headed out to make this cabinet under the reasoning of "if I can clean up the shop more, I can finish the music cabinet for you!" Said cabinet was started 3 years ago, and has had no progress made on it for 2 1/2 of those years. I said ok, and after putting the Captain down for a nap lugged the 2 laundry baskets of baby clothes to my room to start sorting them into size and gender categories to be put away.

I vacuumed the house from top to bottom, and am now staring at the pile of gifts for the Captain that have yet be wrapped, and know that the bulk of said baby clothes still need to be sorted...

Yet, here I sit...typing...because I just have NO desire to be doing Christmas this year. I'm excited for the Captain, and love the way his little eyes light up at the sight of the tree, and the decorations, but I feel like I've done everything for it...I put the tree up, and the lights, and the ornaments, wrapped all the gifts that I purchased (which was all but 4 things by the way), baked something close to 20 dozen cookies (yes, 20...one stinking recipe makes 8 dozen cookies, and the others each make 5, so I think we're sitting close to 24 actually...ugh!), 3 batches of fudge, 6 loaves of bread, did 27 loads of laundry, dusted, vacuumed, watered plants, hand wrote the Christmas cards that got sent, all while fighting this stinking cold, and to top it all off, I think I broke my hand yesterday, but there's nothing I can do about it being 36 weeks pregnant...

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I have to conclude what Farmie did after reading The Best Christmas Pageant Ever to her kiddos...it makes no difference what is there as far as the trappings go...the lights, the tree, the cookies, the gifts...none of it matters because in the end, it is all about celebrating the day that Jesus was born in a manger...God's perfect gift of love and the way to Him, brought to us in the form of a helpless baby boy...surrounded by animals, and a young woman, hardly old enough to know who she was, let alone who this baby would become, his young father, who knew he wasn't the "real" father to this baby, but the man was responsible for raising him...soon to be joined by some smelly shepherds, but not able to see his uncles, aunts, or grandparents for several years because the king was killing all the other babies...

Reminding myself of that makes my little rant seem petty, and childish. Which all of those feelings I had are...but they were there and needed to be dealt with.

I won't be posting the next couple of days as we'll be enjoying time with my folks, and PreacherMan and his family.

All of my deepest heartfelt wishes for a REAL Christmas to you all, and thank you for your prayers and love!

3 comments:

Ang said...

merry christmas.

Sarah @ Ordinary Days said...

Aww sweetie! I feel your pain. Sorry about your hand. I hope you get to feeling better soon. Merry Christmas!

FarmWife said...

I hope your Christmas is improving...and that your hand is not really & truly broken!!

I love you! Merry Christmas.