A Suburban Princess Speaks

Not Dead, Just Changing Priorities

2012-01-30T10:37:00.002-07:00

This morning, I logged onto my laptop to write this post. That was over an hour ago. I got sucked into email and facebook...and don't get me started on Pinterest...sigh...

Needless to say, that is part of the reason why I've been silent more than not recently.

I am getting sucked into various social media outlets and quite honestly, my family is suffering because of it.

Sure, I love staying "connected" to my friends through Facebook, and finding awesome things that I would like to make or do on Pinterest, and enjoy the immediate gratification of email and the like...

However, I do NOT like the fact that I literally did 14 loads of laundry, dusted all the furniture, swept, mopped, vacuumed, and tidied up, taking up an entire day last week. I do not like the fact that I am turning on the television, plopping the kids in front of something I know to be "safe" viewing for them, and then plopping down in front of my computer for hours on end.

When your 22 month old starts singing the song for the new "cuddle puppet" that she's seen the commercial for 4 times...well, that sort of takes you back a bit...

Therefore, over the weekend, while BB and I were schlepping some unfinished hardwood flooring from the soon-to-be finished portion of our basement to the going-to-be-finished-before-our-kids-are-in-middle-school portion of our basement, I made a resolve that I needed to spend far more time engaged with my family, doing things like meal planning, cooking said meals, making pictures with my kids, using some of the awesome things I have stored for craft projects, letting the kids make a mess, playing play-doh, singing songs, reading books, going on "field trips", and taking the kids to the parks and playgrounds when it is warmer than 35 degrees out, getting out our bikes and sidewalk chalk since its been unseasonably mild thus far this winter (our one winter storm was while we were at the in-laws for Christmas and it's been cold only a few days since our return three weeks ago!). I need to take the time when the kids are napping to work on the long list of things I'd like to do to be a better steward of that with which we've been blessed - pass along clothing, books and toys we no longer fit - clear out the clutter, get things organized...

I started reading Jill Savage's Professionalizing Motherhood (no, I'm not being compensated for this!) last fall, along with her newest book Living With Less, So Your Family Has More . All in all, I realized last fall that I've been just sort of "doing" this stay-at-home-mom thing for the last 22 months or so - since Littlest One was born really...somehow, I just got into this mode of doing that which I had to do to keep from being overrun by germs and dirt, the bare minimum to make sure I had food in the house to be eaten, that was nourishment, not just convenience...

I decided that having an argument with BB over why there were things stacked all over the storage room, boxes and bags overflowing in my office space in the basement, getting defensive with his innocent question of "did something happen down here with a flood, or rodents?" and turning it into him attacking my mothering...yeah, it was not pretty to say the least.

At that point, hauling things back and forth, realizing that we have so many things that are unfinished, unstarted, undone, unorganized, uncleared...

I have actually made up excuses (I have lied) to my friends and turned down offers of playdates for my children because I am embarassed at the state of my home...

I realized that I have deviated, shoot, I've flat-out struck a new path, from my organized, tidy life.

And I do not like it one bit.

In fact, I feel as though I'm stuck in "Green Eggs & Ham", shouting at the top of my lungs "I do not like this, Sam I am, I do NOT like being out of control!"...

I know, not quite the friendly, rhythmic and rhyming childhood favorite we remember...but really, I do not like being a sluggard, selfishly fending off my children while my house gathers dust and dirt, laundry piles up, piles piles higher on tables and counters, stacks grow and grow, soon to topple on some unsuspecting spider, cat, child, or self if we sneeze in the wrong direction.

I do not like telling my children "we'll do it later, Mommy has things to do", and then the "things" I do include sitting on my rear typing and navigating away.

So, my dear friends, and anyone actually reading this, I'm taking some time away.

Not completely. The hiatus last year was nice, but I cannot go cold turkey on my connectedness.

However, I'm revamping a schedule. Yep, you read that correctly. I am creating a schedule, just as I would if was running a business, only I'm the only employee, and my schedule is more the tasks that need doing, the appointments keeping, the errands running.

Starting tomorrow, I'll have it in place, to include wonderful things over the coming weeks such as which days of the week I'll do laundry, clean bathrooms, change bedding, dust furniture, wash floors, bake goodies, plan menus, make grocery lists, run those errands.

Lest you start worrying, it will also include things like crafting with the kids, story time, piano lessons for Captain and Princess, and time for myself that will include, but not be limited to trips to the library for new books, time to read those books, time to workout, and time to just unwind.

I've talked to BB and we're working on being able to take a couple evenings a week wherein he's solely responsible for the kids from the end of dinner until bedtime. Not a large chunk of time, but enough that I could go meet a friend for coffee, just go wander around a store, or even just go upstairs and run a bath and soak in the tub for a bit.

We are also instituting a weekly date night wherein BB will take one of the kids out for some one-on-one time. This works out really well - each week, he'll take a different kid, and the fourth week, it will be OUR date night. If there are 5 weeks in a month, we get TWO dates!

We've got an awesome sitter - our neighbor girl is turning 15 this summer, loves little ones, wants to be a teacher, loves our kids, enjoys coming over and only charge $5/hour. Total. Not per kid...she's certified, has infant CPR certification, and because she lives next door, there's no added time of picking up/dropping off a sitter...it's glorious!!!!

For now, I've totally ignored my housework list and only got about 1/4 of it done this morning...so I'll be logging off. At least until Tomorrow...

Recipe Challenge Week 1

2012-01-16T14:38:00.003-07:00

Friday night, I made Inkling's Autumn Vegetable Patties (scroll down to find the recipe). Oh. My. Goodness.

I may start cutting meat out of my diet more than once a week...I made these as a side dish to go along with some roasted chicken, and salad. I should have tripled the recipe. I opted not to eat the chicken, because I'd had copious amounts of meat at lunch that day, and my stomach was a bit wonky due to some overindulging in baked goods earlier in the week...

I ate 3 of them, BB ate 4, the kids devoured the remainder...

Heavenly! Captain already asked for the "great cakes" twice over the weekend, and Princess wanted some for breakfast today with syrup...

The texture was sublime - not too mushy, not too "lumpy" if you get my meaning...the flavor was a treat for certain. The combination of sweet potato and spinach was not one I'd have ever made on my own, but with the other herbs and spices in there...wow!

We did top ours with the spiced sour cream (only I used Plain Greek Yogurt...shhhh...don't tell BB!), and it was just enough decadence to make you feel like you were indulging in some uber-unhealthy fare like cheese-covered potato cakes or something like that...

YUUUUMMMMMMYYYYY!!!!!!

Needless to say, these are now in my rotation, and I might even find a way to make them a bit sweeter for breakfast fare...we'll see how that goes...

January

2012-01-09T12:25:00.002-07:00

Yup. That's all I've got...

I'm remarkably uninspired lately. I think I shall blame it on the very fact that I spent 3 weeks in an uninspired house for vacation.

I was going to take you on a verbal tour of my house, but I think I shall save that for another day.

Recently, I posted on Wha'Cha Got Cookin' about my resolve to try one new recipe each week...and to then post about our experience with it.

This week's new recipe is as yet undetermined. How's that for following through with my plan???

YIKES!

Guess I'm hopping around cooking blogs and recipe sites...

Toodles!

Be It Ever So Humble...

2012-01-06T10:53:00.003-07:00

No matter how many authors, poets, songwriters, or movie producers have said it, and no matter how many ways it has been said, I can truly say that there is, indeed, no place like home.

Our 3 week trip to visit my in-laws was, for the majority, very pleasant.

We enjoyed spectacular weather for the first 10 days of our visit - temperatures in the 50s and 60s, clear skies, gentle breezes when there was any movement at all. We could hear the ocean clearly - waves crashing against the shoreline, the gulls crying, and even, at one point, the sound of many dune buggies, and ATV's on the dunes nearby. We played outside, went for walks, played at the local parks, enjoyed strolling up and down sidewalks shopping in Old Town, which holds several art galleries, antique stores, an awesome place called "All About Olives" (about which I shall wax poetic later on), an "old fashioned" candy store, and ice cream parlor, several great restaurants, a fun toy store, a book store, and an incredible stationery store which carries Jim Shore items, as well as beautiful and quirky cards, notepads, journals, and datebooks...

We got to indulge in Dutch Bros. Coffee almost every day we were there, and had ice cream made with 13% butterfat (I know, I know, you can hear your arteries screaming in agony and feel your waistline expand at the mere mention of it).

We spent a day driving up the Pacific Coast Highway (the 101 for those in the know) to Newport to visit the Oregon Coast Aquarium, which we had practically to ourselves as all the locals and their guests were at the beaches due to the 63 degree temps. We got to know all the creatures, pet star fish, sea cucumbers and anemones to mention just a few...we got kisses from the otters, scared by the octopus and stood in the shark tunnel for a good 20 minutes just watching them laze about, swim around, and ignore the rays in the water. We got good and grossed out by the eels, and were treated to a really cool travelling exhibit about swamps, wherein we met a rather large anaconda, saw several 'gators, and even got to see several different colored poison dart frogs (did you know they came in more than one color??? I wonder if the red one is worse than the yellow one...), and the kids realized for the first time that the "giant" Japanese crabs were actually young and would someday grow up to be twice as wide as BB is tall! YIKES!

We played dare with the waves, walked up a trail to an authentic lighthouse, took a tour, and learned all about the Coastal Lighthouse system...it was really cool!

And then, on Christmas morning, we awoke to a massive rainstorm that lasted until it was about time to send BB and FIL to pick up Grandma T for lunch. We spent the rest of the day eating, watching football and listening to MIL and Grandma snore as they napped in their chairs. FIL spent the entire day playing on his computer.

It was, sadly, at this point, that our trip turned a bit sour...

FIL has completely lost hearing in one ear, due to a cancerous tumor that was removed when BB was in his early teens. Therefore, he struggles to hear on a good day. Add in his 90+ year old mother-in-law (Grandma T) who is in the stage of her life where her voice has dwindled in power, which makes her difficult to hear for those of us with two good ears, and 3 children under the age of 6 who talk fast, don't enunciate and speak in little voices most of the time, and he was miserable! However, he never said anything, and rather than staying in the room with us, asking us to speak slowly or speak up, or use a lower pitch, or whatever might have helped him, he would simply retreat and sit at his desk, in their office, playing Bookworm, Solitaire, searching Craigslist, and surfing through YouTube looking for videos on classic car restoration.

MIL is a control freak. Plain and simple. If she is not in charge, or cannot control some aspect of the event at hand, she is a basket case. She still struggles with her balance and dizziness, as well as muscle control issues. To date, this is a situation that doctors cannot put a name to. And there is no possible way it could be related to the fact that she smokes a pack a day, drinks a 12-pack of Diet Pepsi a day (nothing else, not even water to take her medication), eats white bread dripping butter, slathered with jellies, white potatoes, white rice, and any meat is either covered in gravy or ketchup. Her intake of produce consists of peas, and the occasional cup of peach flavored yogurt. But that is a story for another time. She suffers from many ailments, and rather than attempt to research, learn or experiment with things such as diet changes and simple stretching and light exercises beyond walking to and from the garage for a smoke, or to and from the bathroom or kitchen, she would rather tell everyone how much of a martyr she is. It makes me sad because she wouldn't even read stories to the kids because they "can't sit still and listen without asking a load of questions".

I understand that we totally disrupted their routines and rhythms. I respect the fact that we are energetic, noisy, busy, and that we tripled the occupancy of their house.

However! I make sure that we pick up after ourselves, keep our things as tidy and organized as possible so as not to cause messes or dangerous situations for walking. We unpacked our clothing and used the drawer space provided in the rooms we were given. We made sure our toiletries were put away when we were done, that our bags were never left on counters, and I made sure the bathroom counters and floors were clean each day. We pitched in with setting and clearing the table, washing dishes, helping cook when allowed, spent as much in groceries for 3 days as I would normally spend to get through 2 weeks here, did our own wash at the laundromat so as not to use their utilities (something that was complained about after our last visit), and took Navy showers to cut back on volume of water consumption. I even cleaned the house from stem to stern twice while we were there.

By the 28th, both MIL and FIL were testy and short-tempered. The kids picked up on it, and became cranky and short-tempered. The weather was NOT conducive to long periods of being outdoors, but we ventured out, bundled up, daily, to go walk around flea markets and antique stores, enjoyed a few lunches at our favorite places that the in-laws won't go.

By the 31st, BB and I declared that we would never again go for that long without having something else planned in the middle...a visit to our friends in the southern part of the State, or perhaps a jaunt further up the Coast to Seattle to visit with friends in that area...or just staying at a hotel in another town one or two ports away from them...but never again to stay with them, at their house for the entire time past 15 days.

Due to their health conditions and the advanced age of Grandma T, we know that we will have to travel there for at least one visit each year.

We are supposed to meet up "halfway" this summer for a vacation. Ironically enough, the proposed location is the town in which we stayed on the 2nd night of our trip out there last summer...oh well, at least they are willing to venture forth...

We were treated to several interesting events, including, but not limited to:

hearing about the argument between MIL and her sister over Grandma's finances
hearing about BIL and SIL's "official" end of marriage
listening to MIL spout forth half-true pieces of information on politics, health care, and the world at large
watching every. single. episode. of House Hunters.
receiving the silent treatment and cold shoulder but never being told why
hearing about the "stupidity" of people that fall under both friend and business associate lists
having our children scolded and being undermined in our parenting authority by both MIL and FIL at random times

I did know these things would be happening going into this visit. It is, sadly, just the way my in-laws are.

It stinks that they are missing out on building a relationship with their grandchildren. At this stage of the game, my kids want someone who will build Legos, color, drive cars, and read stories to them. They want interaction. Not the kind where you tell them they are sprinkling the colored sugar on the unbaked cookies incorrectly, but the kind where you explain to them what you are doing, and why, and let them "help" in some small way.

Capt was never happier than when Grandpa would let him sit on his lap at the computer and help spell words for Bookworm. Princess wanted nothing more than to help Grandma ready the monthly statements to be mailed on behalf of one of her clients. Littlest One was happiest when someone would help her dress and undress her baby dolls countless times.

It broke my heart when Captain came to me and asked why Grandma was so mean to him...

Anyway, we returned home with more good memories than bad, and were so glad to be home, where we could get back to our routines, and not feel as though we were a burden on our family.

I hope your Holiday was wonderful!

It's the Hap-Hap-Happiest Season My Foot...

2011-12-13T09:27:00.002-07:00

OY!

I am trying really hard to be stress-free this Christmas. But somehow, some way, I'm left with the ugly feeling of stress creeping up behind me...and it's not a little tiny bit over something minor...it's a whole truckload of it...

GAH!

SO, please allow me to vent just a smidge...

Over the last 4 weeks, I have initiated, scheduled, shopped, wrapped, baked, decorated, cleaned, laundered, ironed, dusted, vacuumed, photographed, addressed, stamped, sealed, clipped, stirred, sorted, organized, purged, packed...and then add in the whole "lather, rinse, repeat" idea...alone.

BB's company is releasing a new product and he's been insanely busy at work gearing up for, testing, debugging, answering, troubleshooting...oh, and then he's doing all his normal workload also. His manager's father is extremely ill, and so he was out of the office for 2 of the last 4 weeks. Upon getting to the office this morning, BB saw him packing up all his laptop and work stuff, white as a sheet...his manager's dad was rushed to the OR this morning for heart surgery. Pray that he'll get there to see him, and that his Dad will be ok!

Anyway...the kids are still ensconced in their normal routines of school, AWANA, dance, and the like...

Basically what it means is that I've pseudo-single-parented for the last month, and in the midst of it all did Christmas preparations, plus vacation preparations also.

I'm just tired - physically, mentally, emotionally...

And as much as I love BB and as great as the Scrabble-playing is, sometimes, I really am tired and really do have a headache...and just don't want to play as often as he does.

I have trouble sometimes getting excited about a game of Scrabble, and I know how important it is to our relationship, to BB as my husband...

Anyway, I digress...in the midst of it all, my Dad has a sinus infection, my brother is coming down with something, and all three kids woke up today, the day before we get on a plane to fly to Oregon with stuffed up noses, and barking coughs.

Please be praying for us as I embark on the last-minute insanity of final preparations and the last dash of house cleaning. Pray for me to be at peace, to know that I will get all the necessary things done. Pray for our health - that we will stay healthy for the duration of our trip. Pray for travel safety during out drive to the airport, the flight, the drive down from Portland to my in-laws. Pray for our hearts and attitudes to remain joyful and happy and loving while we're there. Pray for good, clear, warm-ish weather so we can get outside and run every day that we're there. Pray for my in-laws to be gentle and flexible with their lives as we totally disrupt their normal quiet and isolation. Pray for the kids to be sensitive to the needs of their grandparents and to be well-behaved and mellow.

Most of all, pray for me, that I can maintain my new lifestyle - physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental.

My in-laws are much different than my own parents, and, as you know, I really struggle with their attitudes about the negative effects of choices they've made through their lives. I also really struggle with the lack of any spriritual beliefs in their lives.

Pray that I can be the light they need to see, that their hearts would be receptive, and that somehow, through all these visits over the coming months and years, that something we do or say will be the thing they need to choose to come back...

And, pray that I will indeed have a Merry Christmas...

Serious Reminders...

2011-12-05T16:05:00.002-07:00

It would seem that God has a very important message for me...

First, my small group study this fall was all about making over my character - being more mindful of what God has in mind for me as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend...

Second, another book I picked up that my Moms' Group was reading through talks about how living with less can actually provide us more in life. One of the topics? Thinking about how having less things on our calendars outside of home life means that we'll have more time as a family! More time to talk and interact with our children, our spouses...more time to know each other, and more time to play and have fun...

Third, I was selected to be part of a group of folks "testing" a new book that is sort of a "life makeover" book - talking about how taking 30 days and changing up your thinking and habits can make you more successful, more fit...and the very first thing she talked about? Making sure that your spouse/partner comes first, followed by your family...

And so, today, I'm sitting here, ears wide open, heart ready to receive...and I say "Alright God, I will deliberately choose each day to put my relationship with BB at the top of the list."

I admit I'm not the most selfless person I know...in fact, I would, if I had to, put myself at the opposite extreme in fact - one of the most selfish people I know. Somehow, I just always assumed that how I was doing things was ok - people liked me, they wanted to be around me, to be a client, a friend, a whatever...

And then one morning I woke up, to find that many of the people I counted as "friend" were simply gone. BB and I have had some arguments (many of them loud) about how he sees my actions...

And again, it all comes back to perception, not intent. It doesn't matter if I'm truly being selfish or selfless...what matters is how people see my actions...

It's been a good last few weeks around here. Physically busy, with a smoking hot deal found on Black Friday (which I never engage in) that is allowing me to take care of myself. Mentally busy with preparing for the countdown to our trip to the In-Laws. Emotionally busy with the changes in our family - growing up and maturing, SIL's dad going into Hospice at the end stages of cancer, and being called Home Sunday evening and all that brings with it (the thought of losing my own parents is not one I like facing).

We leave in 10 days, for a 3-week trip. Our pet-sitter is all lined up, and our services are suspended. Gifts are purchased and wrapped. Christmas cards are waiting to be addressed, signed, sealed, stamped and sent.

Next up? Lists...endless lists for preparing our packing for our trip.

If I don't get back on here, I'm sorry...things elsewhere are just needing my attention...

Insert Catchy Bloggy Title Here

2011-11-29T14:28:00.003-07:00

I've got nothing for a title today. This is rambly, and most likely disjointed, but that's what you get today...

I've spent the last 9 days power-cleaning the house. I guess I just need to call it "Fall Cleaning" wherein I spent many hours on hands and knees cleaning baseboard molding, and vacuuming the carpet where it meets said molding. I washed the inside of my windows. I swept webs and dust bunnies out of corners, scrubbed fingerprints off walls and doors, finally got my kitchen floor to feel a whole lot less sticky, cleaned window blinds, washed bedding, switched out seasonal clothing, sorted, organized, purged, and thoroughly cleaned an unfinished basement. I cleaned and oiled wood furniture, I did all the normal dusting and scrubbing and washing and cooking I would do anyway.

Then, I baked 2 pumpkin pies, 1 cherry pie, a batch of pumpkin muffins, a batch of sourdough bread, roasted a turkey, made homemade stuffing for said turkey, ironed table linens, polished decorative items, made sure my house was not just "passable" but magazine-spread-ready.

And then, in my insanity, decided to call the company that I use yearly to clean my carpets. They were here this morning. We have an electrician coming Thursday to install and wire a sub-panel in our basement, move the circuit that contains the basement's current electricity from the main panel to the new one in the basement. Yesterday, we had a Pest Control company come by for our normal quarterly application of anti-bug stuff. (Don't laugh, but I live in the 'burbs and do NOT like bugs and rodents in my house...) Thursday afternoon, I'm taking the kids to a local digital photography studio for photos, since their school pictures SUCKED to the point that I'm sending them back for a refund...Friday or Saturday, we're going as a family. For less than what I paid for Captain's pictures, we'll get 2 huge packages of good quality photos to pass out to family and some lucky friends. Sorry, but when you come from a family of 5 kids, you don't generally have extra for the "friends" category...

I'm currently hanging out in my living room, enjoying the silence and the chilly air wafting through my house. I've got my doors and windows open to make sure that the carpet is thoroughly dry before I move the couch, chair, and end tables back into the family room. Thank goodness they have the foresight to open windows and turn ceiling fans on in the rooms they clean to speed drying! The kids' rooms were dry before they even left the house, and I was able to vacuum and put everything back, AND the windows were able to be left open to let out any nastiness from the cleaning process. I know, I know, I'm probably fostering some crazy disease in my kids by having my carpets chemically cleaned, but even using my folks' shampooer, I just never feel like it gets clean. And, according to the gut who was hear today, I may be more right than I think! But that's a story for another day.

My kitchen is shiny, my hardwood is gleaming, the upholstery is vacuumed and I should really be folding the 4 loads of laundry that I've got piling up.

But right now, I think I just want to sit still for a tiny bit longer...the silence is a blessing.

The kids had no school last week, and it was just weird enough weather that we didn't play outside a whole lot. That means that the basement getting cleaned and organized came at just the right time! The kids had a massive place in which to be loud, run around and play! I've had people and noise in my ears except for when I was sleeping for the last week.

Capt has AWANA tonight, and Princess has dance class this afternoon. But for another 60 minutes, I get to sit in the silence and watch the light bounce off the walls...

Wishing and Hoping...But Not Holding My Breath

2011-11-27T13:54:00.002-07:00

Today, I'm fighting a little bit of sadness, and more than a little bit of jealousy...

You see, (WARNING!!! TMI to follow), this morning I started my period. Normally, as a PCOS sufferer, that's a cause for rejoicing, because it means a smaller chance of cysts. It means things are "normal" with my body.

Today, however, it made me a little bit sad. I've been reading along, waiting anxiously for Ordinary Sarah's announcement that Baby #5 has been safely welcomed into the world. I've been watching a former schoolmate of mine, who remarried last fall, as her FB posts have gotten giddier and giddier about welcoming a new baby (born right before Thanksgiving!), and as other friends and acquaintances (and yes, even random strangers with pregnant bellies evident) are growing and showing, and welcoming, I'm just a tiny bit more sad each day that passes.

BB thought 2 was enough. He loves all 3 of our children immensely and intensely. He is such an amazing Daddy...

However, he is quite adamant in his statements that "3 is it! We are done! No MORE!"

Me? Well, I came from a big family. I still feel as though someone is missing from around our table at meals.

I often catch myself listening for an infant's cry signaling that someone needs to be fed, changed, or just rocked.

Littlest One has firmly entrenched herself in Toddlerhood - she runs everywhere, loudly proclaims "No, Mama! No help me!", and proceeds to do a pretty darn good job for a 20-month old in whatever she's attempting to do. She crawls up the stairs, scoots down feet first on her bottom, takes off and puts on socks, cuddles her babies, climbs into her chair and rocks, uses her utensils to feed herself (quite neatly, for the record), and has a vocabulary to rival many 4 year olds...She brings me books and demands to read to me, and then proceeds to turn the pages so gently while telling me her version of the story. She is singing songs, dances, and is more than ready for potty-training.

Even before we got to this point, so evidently no longer a baby, I was ready for another one...

And at this point, while I'm ecstatic for my friends who are gaining family members, I know that it is most definitely NOT in BB's plans to expand our family.

I know it's in God's hands, and that He'll make it evident to us about growing our family more, and if so, how that will happen...

But I celebrated my 36th birthday a few weeks back. And while I can honestly say that NEVER before have I heard that proverbial ticking clock, I most assuredly now!

In fact, I think it sounds more like the digital clock sound from "24"...signalling that something is coming to an end...

Pray for us - that God would speak clearly to us about our family's size. That if He wants it to grow, He'll make it abundantly clear to us how that will happen, and when.

I don't know - maybe we should just get a puppy...

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-22T14:52:00.002-07:00

We are hosting our family dinner this year. Not a bid deal so much, really, in the long run.

But for some reason, since school started, I've waffled between insane OCD cleaning maven and lazy, sit on my fat rear and do a whole heap of nothing. I'm not sure why, I can't put a finger on my reasoning or drive for this cycle...

Needless to say, I've had a long and ongoing list of tasks and projects that I'd like to get done. And really, having one child in school 5 mornings a week, and another 2 mornings a week, and all 3 resting at the same time every afternoon that I'd have plenty of time and opportunities to tackle the items on my list - that I should have all my photos chronologically, alphabetically, categorically sorted and stored, with copies cleverly and creatively placed on the pages of the scrapbooks I have waiting for me. That I'd have the children's baby books completely filled in through the current date. That I'd have their school work in acid-free archival storage trunks, bound chronologically by age and school year/grade. That I'd have all the hideous wall paper stripped off my walls, giving them fresh coats of texture and paint, that my floors would be gleaming, my upholstery free of dust, cat hair, and Cheerio-schmear. That my laundry would be spotlessly clean, pressed, mended, and in it's rightful place...

And yet, somehow...what I have is 4 loads waiting to be washed, sticky floors that are dull, scratched, and stained. Upholstery that is regularly dusted with Cheerio-schmear and cat hair. A basement that has slowly, gradually become the dumping ground for all things unwanted on the main floor of my house...

Somehow I just feel overwhelmed at all the things I have convinced myself that grown-ups do...

At other times, I'd just rather curl up with the kids and read some stories, snuggle with a cookie and cup of milk, have a dress-up contest, fashion show, or fight fires, pirates and save damsels in distress. I'd rather color a picture, look at 57 pages of princesses and mommies, race tracks and superheroes, sit curled up in a blanket and watch endless re-runs of Caillou, Angelina Ballerina, or Transformers and Fraggle Rock...

And so, to echo something a friend posted on Facebook the other day - if there are dirty dishes in my sink, it means I fed my family. If there are dirty clothes in the baskets, it means my family has ample to clothe themselves, and if there are toys strewn about, and dust on my furniture, it means I am spending time with my family.

Perhaps someday I'll get the hang of being a grown-up, being a Mom...but for today, just for these moments, I'm doing to sit in my chair, eat some homemade cookies, sip a hot cup of cocoa, and tune out the remaining things on my "to-do before Thanksgiving Day" list.

Please Let Me Gush

2011-11-17T10:17:00.003-07:00

This morning I woke up at 5am, on the dot, with no alarm.

It wasn't one of those groggy, roll over and stare at the clock hoping to make it hours earlier wakings. It was the "holy cow I felt like I slept for a week" wide-awake, bursting with energy sort of wakings.

It was HEAVENLY! I am, apparently, the founder and president of the "Fake it til you Make It" club, hauling myself out of bed in the wee small hours to get myself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually ready to face the day and care for my family. Some days are tougher than others, and I admit that grudgingly. I'd rather not have to face my weaknesses, the tired muscles, the worn out mind, the worn thin patience, the stubbornness of not wanting to lean on my God...I'd rather be Superman, with no Kryptonite in existence.

So when my eyes popped open, and I looked at the clock, I was thrilled! It's been months since I felt this way that early in the morning, if at all during the day...

I decided to capitalize on it. I put on my workout clothes, tiptoed out of the bedroom and popped in a DVD and did a work out. I finished, felt awesome, made a pot of coffee, did some basic tidying around the house, folded a load of laundry I'd left last night, swept my hardwood floors, put away a ton of things that have been sitting around in hopes that someone else would get the unspoken message to put their things away...

And then I tiptoed back into the bedroom, showered, got dressed, did my hair, put on my makeup, and looked at the clock. It was 6:15. Seriously. I had done more in 75 minutes in the still dark than I have done all day for the last 3 weeks...

And after I woke the kids up to get them going for school today, I came down, made breakfast (real breakfast, not pop the frozen waffles in the toaster or the bowl of instant oatmeal in the microwave kind), and got to sit down and enjoy a meal with my family, while it was still hot.

I took Princess to school, ran to the bank, left a stack of business cards for MK with my teller, came home, and started a load of laundry, made pumpkin muffins, and had a second cup of coffee.

I feel great!

I've been singing and humming to myself all morning, and am just feeling so thankful and blessed...

And this afternoon, we're attending a Thanksgiving Feast at Princess' preschool, then coming home, where I'll finish the laundry, finish the cleaning of the 1st and 2nd floors while the kids nap.

Tomorrow, BB and my Dad are attending a Wood Working show that lasts all weekend. They'llb be leaving around 11am, and won't get home til after dinner. They'll head back at 8am on Saturday, be gone all day, and then go down around 9 on Sunday and be gone til mid-afternoon.

As odd as it sounds to say it out loud, I am looking forward to a weekend at home with just the kids and I.

It will give us a chance to just hang out and recharge.

I intend to get the whole house sparkling clean, all the laundry and ironing done - have the house in readiness for hosting Thanksgiving dinner next week, so that leading up to that day, I can pull out my Christmas decorations, get things cleaned off, organized, and ready to be put out on Friday, the 25th.

There will be no Black Friday shopping in this family, because I am DONE with Christmas shopping. All items are purchased for the kids and BB, and I'll spend the next weeks wrapping and placing things under our tree, which will be up, lit and decorated before lunch next Friday.

I just have to select which items will be brought with us to stuff stockings for the kiddos at MIL and FIL's house, and which will be left behind to be gifted upon our return.

I am SO looking forward to this season.

PS - I found the CUTEST pre-made Advent calendar at Target of all places. Granted, it is a Gingerbread house, and the date marker is a candy cane, but you know what? I love it!

I get to personalize and customize it with things that are appropriate for my 3 little kids.

I'm taking our calendar with us, and next year, when we're in Colorado for Christmas, we'll have an Advent Wreath as well as our calendar.

I love this season, and am ever so much happier when I'm not stressing about shopping or baking, and when I don't get caught up in the consumerist viewpoint of how many gifts and what price are sitting under our tree.

I love it, I love it, I love it! And it wouldn't be possible if I hadn't been budgeting and planning and preparing for the last 11 months, since LAST Christmas.

Yup, I'm that lady.

Taming the Tongue

2011-11-05T20:57:00.002-06:00

Well, it's been awhile.

To keep it succinct - the entire family has been sick since shortly after my last post. Littlest One had a tummy thing that morphed into a weird and scary rash that turned out to be Hand Foot and Mouth. No, we did NOT have Mad Cow disease, we are not in danger and no one is dying. However! Two days later Captain broke out, two days after that, Princess got it, and by last Saturday night I had it. Sunday found BB covered with by far the worst case, on top of a nasty stomach bug (or perhaps in conjunction with it).

After what felt like a bazillion trips to the doctor's offices and the pharmacy (first we were diagnosed with a bacterial infection), and being snowed upon heavily twice, once with oodles of broken tree branches to clean up in addition to heavy wet snow to shovel, my parents "rescuing" us with a few necessities in the grocery department, and literally disinfecting every inch of my house, washing every article of clothing, all our bedding, pillows, towels, and area rugs, and spraying our shoes inside and out with Lysol to kill anything living, I was wiped out!

My infection not only affected my hands and feet, but, indeed included my mouth - my throat was covered in sores, and, thinking I had a case of Strep, had a culture taken and the lovely nurse swabbed my throat so hard that she opened them all. For 4 days I felt as though I'd swallowed broken glass followed by lemon juice and salt...I was actually concerned I'd have to check into the hospital because I couldn't eat or drink anything!

It was scary and overwhelming, and frustrating...

BB worked from home for the last 8 days, the kids were out of school, and I actually didn't leave the house from the 25th until the late afternoon of the 28th, and then we didn't leave again until yesterday when I told BB that he had to get himself to the point where he could take care of the kids so I could go to the bank and the grocery.

I was finally able to start eating again on Thursday, and even then it was things like yogurt and Jell-O and protein drinks.

I know I said I was hoping to lose some weight, but a 4-day fast is NOT what I'd recommend.

thanks for your thoughts, curiosity and prayers since my last point.

Oh, and my birthday? A big deal was indeed made of it...just not in the way I'd envisioned. Instead of being pampered and treated like a queen, I was instead, working like a drudge to care for my sick family.

I know God has blessed us with the ability to have me be at home full-time, and for BB to work remotely as needed, and thankfully, He has also blessed us with awesome medical insurance which covered a lot of visits to many doctors and many things from the pharmacies...and He's also blessed us with the amazing ability to heal - Littlest One has no evidence on the skin of this infection, and all three kids are fully back to 100% health!

BB and I, after only a week are already healing as well...

I will, in the future, watch what I ask for...

Bumps in the Road

2011-10-25T13:20:00.002-06:00

I realize that all things are relative - each of us is fighting our own battles in our lives, some of them truly momentous, such as a my friend who is dealing with her 3 year old daughter being fitted for hearing aids, or my friend who is going through Chemo to fight cancer in both breasts...or my friend who lost her job waiting tables (which was their only income after her husband was laid off last summer)...Me? My bumps right now are the fact that all 3 kids are sick. Littlest One had a nasty stomach bug last week that didn't slow her down in activity levels at all, but sure took a toll on her rear-end poor thing. After going through a box of 96 diapers in 4 days (do the math if you'd like), and 2 16-oz TUBS of diaper cream, I thought we were in the clear on Thursday night.

As you may remember, BB was out of town (at least I think I mentioned that), our truck was broken and in the shop, I was flying solo with a car I don't like now that we have 3 booster/car seats to cram into the back seat, and was not feeling well myself.

SO...the truck was out of commission, I was toting all 3 kids across town at 7:40 in the morning to take Capt to school, taking the girls to the other side of town (which is really only 4 miles from my house to Capt's school, and 4 miles from his school to our Church, where Princess attends Preschool, but still...), to drop Princess at Preschool, and then coming home to attempt to get Littlest One to nap, and get some things done around the house that I desperately wanted to get finished while BB was away...only to wake Littlest One from her nap (something I despise doing for any of the kids), to pick Capt up, and then back across town to pick up Princess...add to that the fact that Tuesday is Princess' dance class, and Capt's AWANA night, and you get a hairy crazy day...

Anyway...Littlest One seemed to be fine, with no issues on Thursday afternoon/evening. BB's flight came in that night, and we went to pick him up with the newly repaired truck. Friday morning dawned to find us preparing for our first ever parent-teacher conference (which I was needlessly freaked out about), and all three kids were still asleep. My dad came over to watch them while we went.

the rest of the day was uneventful as far as things go - we did some yard work, BB caught up on actual work and the kids played and napped. Friday night we took BB out for a belated birthday dinner, and at bedtime, I noticed that Littlest One was sporting a few red bumps in her diaper area. I thought nothing of it because we'd been topically treating similar bumps on her hips and back for a few weeks as needed.

Saturday saw a few more bumps. By Sunday morning, her entire rear end was covered with these angry red bumps, and it was spreading - her knees, elbows, between her toes and fingers...yesterday I called our pediatrician's office and weasled my way to a 9:45 visit only to be told that has a bacterial infection that is affecting her skin and we're now treating it systemically with a pretty nasty antibiotic that is wreaking new havoc on her digestive track. No worries, I was prepared - bought three new tubs of yogurt, and laid in a good stock of things like Saltine crackers, bananas, and pulled some of my homemade applesauce out of the freezer for her.

This morning, Capt awoke on his own (pretty new for him) and sort of dragged himself around to get dressed for school. He came down stairs and was sort of mopey and whiny (NOT new for him, especially at 7am). I made him breakfast and he sat there, poking at it...I asked if he was ok, and he said his tummy hurt.

This is where I make my "HOLY COW!" statement about myself. You'd think that after doing this parenting thing for 5 years, I'd realize that when a kid says "I'm not hungry, my tummy hurts/I don't feel good", I'd NOT force them to eat anything at all...

BB and I decided to keep him home from school (again, something I hate doing unless absolutely necessary!), and not 5 minutes after BB left for his work, Capt was in the bathroom throwing up. The only thing I hate worse than sick cats are sick kids...at least he's old enough that he got to the bathroom and got it all in the toilet...so there was nothing to really clean up, just a boy to comfort and love on.

SO, I sent him back upstairs to brush his teeth and change into comfy clothes. Princess woke up about 10 minutes later, in need of a bath, due to an upset tummy.

Thankfully, only Capt has thrown up, and only the one time.

To top it all off, my birthday is next week, BB's was last week, and my family somehow was not thinking of it and decided to schedule something else the weekend on which we traditionally celebrate birthdays.

Now, this may sound childish to you, but I rather like making a big deal of birthdays - we do something special for the kids on their day, with a special breakfast the day of, a special lunch and/or dinner during the weekend leading up to, or following, and some sort of party with friends, as well as some sort of special celebration with just extended family. I do the same thing for BB - he gets a special breakfast the day of, at least one special lunch and/or dinner, and then a combined celebration for he and I with my family.

I think that birthdays are supposed to be special - it is, in my humble opinion, the ONE TIME during the year when you are allowed to be selfish and say that it's about you. Anniversaries, Valentine's Day, Christmas, even Mothers' and Fathers' Day are shared with your spouse, family, parents and siblings to some degree or another - those are about celebrating the OTHER PERSON/PEOPLE in your life. But your birthday? That's all about the day you were born.

That said...it rather grates on me that in my entire life, I've had ONE birthday which was not planned in some way or part by me. That was the year that BB and I got engaged.

SO...next Wednesday is my 36th birthday. I don't have an issue with the number because I simply don't feel "old", or "almost middle-aged"...

What I do have an issue with is the fact that my own Mom said it slipped her mind that my birthday was coming up when they scheduled this thing that they cannot reschedule.

I'm a bit offended. I'm selfish and childish and being petulant, and I know that there are so many things in the world that are so much more HUGE than my mom scheduling something else on the day we normally get together, but you know what? Just once, more than once a decade, more than once in my life I'd really like to utterly and completely taken aback with the celebration of my birthday.

I'd like BB to have flowers delivered from a florist, not just pick up a bouquet on his way home from work. I'd like him to plan and execute a meal that involves more than just driving us to a restaurant he thinks I like. I'd like to open gifts that are in no way practical (unlike last year's griddle and kitchen gadgets, or the previous year's sewing machine, or the year before that when he got me a garden tool kit). You know, the kind of gift that just makes you feel a bit spoiled - a gift certificate to a salon for a pedicure, or a spa for a massage, or your favorite expensive fine dark chocolate, or a gift certificate for one visit from the local housecleaning company to do a "thorough and deep cleaning of your house from top to bottom", or even a git card to a store that you've mentioned but rarely go into because it's out of your budget...

At any rate, I'm struggling today with feeling content, with feeling as though this profession of motherhood is where I want to be.

I know I want to be here...today it's hard to keep my eye on the prize.

Gearing Up

2011-10-16T19:58:00.003-06:00

Well, this week will be my big chance...to finally feel as though I have caught up on my "project list".

I am trying, like Mrs. Ordinary to not have a real to-do list in the sense of "run here, go there, volunteer at this event/program, fill tub and weave basket underwater"...I do, however, have a list of long-range projects that are things I'd like to accomplish. Some of them are true projects in the sense of scrapbooking our photos and memories, making myself a divine knitted wrap using bamboo yarn that is like silk...it truly is heavenly and I cannot wait to make it. I will have it done PRIOR to our trip to my in-laws in December.

You see, my current list includes things like "wash windows and blinds, detail clean each room (this includes things like making sure the baseboard molding is clean, there are no dust-bunnies and dust webbies infesting, I move ALL the things off surfaces, clean those things, clean the surfaces, move the furniture I can move, use the crevice tool on my vacuum cleaner to get all the gunk cleaned out), clear out my pantry to purge, inventory and reorganize it, and do the same to my freezer. There are other things on that list, including the ever-elusive "purge the basement storage room".

My BB is gone this week in San Jose for business, and I will, in true fashion to myself, NOT be sleeping well unless I am physically exhausted. Therefore, I am tackling a giant set of plans.

Although, I will admit that first on that list? To take a bubble bath while my hair color processes. Followed by "lay in bed and read a book for as long as I want to".

Tomorrow is when I will begin the "real work" of clearing, dusting, sweeping and the like.

And if hard work and motivation mean anything, I'll have accomplished a TON of stuff this week.

And before you worry that I'm not taking time for myself, let me assure you that I've an appointment for a wax, mani/pedi at a friend of mine's new brow studio, at which she is hostessing a "guest artist" who does nails. I get the introductory/friend price of $10. And since I can't get any of those 3 services at our local beauty academy for that price, I full intend to hold my appointment.

And we'll be baking sugar cookies, and using the "special cookie cutters" to make BB a birthday cake cookie, since his special day is Wednesday. I only hope that Princess has no wish to decorate it with pink and purple icing...

Lighten the Load: No Holiday Blues

2011-10-11T10:10:00.003-06:00

We all know that the Holiday Season is upon us. Whether or not we like it, marketing departments and research groups all over have caused the insanity we face each year. First, the Back to School items show up right after the 4^th of July, next, the costumes, candy, and Halloween decorations are up before Labor Day. Before your teeth have time to start hurting over the kids’ haul of candy, the Thanksgiving and Fall items have been put away and Christmas songs are playing throughout stores and lights are strung!

I distinctly remember growing up that my mother flat our refused to even entertain the idea of Christmas before the day after Thanksgiving. That’s right! No Black Friday shopping madness at our house…oh wait…that didn’t start until I was in High School…anyway…my family would spend Thursday enjoying the Thanksgiving feast, watching football games, playing games and working puzzles with each other. If it was mild, we’d play football outside, get in what we were sure was our last bike riding. If it had already snowed, or was snowy, we’d hang out and read, and spend time together. We’d enjoy our leftover turkey sandwiches, hang out some more, and head to bed. The next morning, bright and early, we’d be up, hauling up boxes from the basement, or down from the attic space above our garage. We’d move furniture around the living room, vacuum and dust everything thoroughly, and begin putting up our artificial tree. We’d laugh and spend time untangling lights, string them up, get the skirt just so, and put Mom’s special ornaments on the tree – each year a little bit different theme. One year was all her angel ornaments, the next she’d found a steal of a deal on beautiful iridescent icicle ornaments, and the whole tree sparkled, as though covered in frost, with white lights and these gorgeous ornaments. It was almost a shame to put our own motley crew of ornaments on the same tree. While we girls were setting up the tree, my Dad and brothers would be putting up the outdoor lights and hanging the garland along the first floor gutters (or, for my non American readers, eaves-troughs), the giant red velveteen bows on the lamp-post and the wreath upon the door.

By the time we headed back to school for the final 3 weeks of the term, our house was oozing Christmas out every possible location.

Over the following weeks, we’d spend time baking the special cookies our family was known for, decorating, making up beautifully arranged plates and delivering them to the neighbors up and down the street. We’d bake fruit breads, my grandmother incredible white fruit cake that is NOT soaked in alcohol and hideous. This thing is AWESOME, even if it weighs a ton and half…

We’d start our Advent Calendar and Scripture reading faithfully on December 1^st. I remember one year, we actually had an Advent Wreath with the candles, and Mom actually lit them…it was my favorite Christmas.

The weeks would creep by slowly, wrapped gifts would start to appear under the tree, and the warnings would be repeated over and over – “LEAVE THE PRESENTS ALONE!” DON’T SHAKE THE GIFTS!!!!”

Christmas Eve Day would arrive, and we’d spend the day, again, together, playing games, doing puzzles, watching the Christmas classics like White Christmas, It’s A Wonderful Life…in fact, we watched every single Christmas special that aired from Rudolph to Mickey’s Christmas Carol! We’d enjoy some sort of homemade soup that Mom would have in the crock-pot simmering all day. We’d have plates of cookies and breads, veggies, fruit, cheese and crackers…and we’d head out to Christmas Eve services. We’d cajole and whine and hope that my folks would take pity upon us poor children and allow us just one gift to open…sometimes they’d allow it.

Christmas morning was the usual insanity and chaos as we all excitedly woke each other, waited as long as we possibly could to wake Mom and Dad. Dad would go downstairs while we got on robes and slippers, and rubbed the sleep from our eyes…to make certain that Santa had indeed visited our house. We’d wait for that eternity at the top of the stairs, dying inside with each second that passed before my Dad would allow us downstairs. Presents would be opened with quite a bit of order and peace…as much as a family of 7 could muster anyway. As we ripped and tore through paper, oohed and aahed, cheered and screamed our way through the bounty of material blessings, we knew that we’d had the best Christmas ever! As we grew older, there would first be a pot of coffee started as we enjoyed the gifts in our stockings, and then we’d troop, some of us with coffee, some with plates of breakfast goodies like pastries and fruit breads to enjoy while we opened gifts.

We’d clean up the wrappings, and only then were we allowed to actually OPEN the boxes of things to be assembled and decorated with stickers and decals…All our gifts were always stacked neatly and tidily back under the tree so we could enjoy them throughout the day. We’d enjoy a massive breakfast, and then spend the morning playing, enjoying, reading, preparing the dinner feast.

A long distance call was placed to each set of grandparents, and my aunts and uncles, as my parents shared their delight in the Day, and their sadness at being apart from extended family.

Nowhere in my memories did I ever feel stress, or angst, anger, frustration, or the need to compete, to fight over must-have gift items…

And here, is where I get to the meat of this Lighten the Load post…how to escape the insanity of the Holiday Season.

Some things I’ve learned along the way:

Each of the Holidays is only 1 day. Unless you are celebrating Hannukah, which is still only 8 days. Do not allow Thanksgiving or Christmas to dominate and dictate an entire week or month or 2 months of your life.
Start planning your Holiday Feasts NOW!! If you haven’t already, get out a notebook and pen, or create a new document or spreadsheet on your computer.
Start a budget for gifts. Set a dollar amount, and/or number of gifts for each family member. Stick to it. If you say you’ll only spend $15 on extended family members, then do NOT go beyond that amount. If you state each kid will get 5 gifts under the tree, with 3 being from Santa, then STICK TO YOUR GUNS. It is NOT too late to budget – there are still almost 12 weeks until Christmas Day. And, then, start in January on the actual putting aside of money – I actually keep the cash in our little fire safe, in an envelope and each month I add to it. When I begin shopping for Christmas gifts, that’s the money I take with me. Each child has their own envelope, and there’s one for me and one for BB. I also have a Birthday/Anniversary envelope for each of us. That way, I don’t blow our living expense money as I buy the “perfect” gift.
If you have an artificial tree, set a day NOW to get it up and decorated. Put it on the calendar, and tell the family that is what you’ll be doing that weekend. Together. Take time in the days/weeks ahead sorting out your decorations, locating boxes and tubs, untangling lights and testing them. And you know what? If the string of lights is not working? TOSS IT! Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT waste your precious time trying to find the rogue bulb…lights are cheap enough that you can go buy a new set and still not have spent the same amount of time as it would take to repair the silly things. I know a family who recycles their lights each year and buys fresh on clearance the week after Christmas! Gather and clean/ready all your ornaments, lights, artificial greenery, ribbon garland etc. That way, on “Decorating Day”, you’ll be more efficient. I sit at night, the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving and sort our lights as I watch DVR’d episodes of TV with BB. He goes up the ladder, and all the lights are ready to go! No disgruntled hubby!
Set a time on your calendar to do any Holiday baking that you can ahead of time. If you do an exchange, or provide a plate of goodies for teachers, pick 2 – 4 recipes, make enough (single or double batch) to share among the gifts. Keep in mind that your teachers are going to get something from almost everyone, so they don’t need a dozen cookies from you! Also, my rule is 2 of each kind of cookie for each family member that we share with. That way, I can bake a triple batch of each recipe, and we end up with about 1 ½ batches given away, and 1 ½ to enjoy over the coming weeks. I also only share those cookies that I know no one else makes! We do pizzelles, kringeles, and a secret family recipe of “press cookies” that makes like a bazillion cookies with my cookie gun. In return, our neighbors provide us with chocolate covered pretzels, home-made candies, those awesome little sugar/butter cookie wreaths with the red hot holly berries, fudge, cheese ball and crackers, and our Mormon neighbors always have cool things – my all-time favorite? The soup in the jar! A mason jar filled with the rice, herbs, spices, split peas and pasta to make an amazing hearty soup that we enjoyed on New Year’s Day after our Feast!
Make space in your freezer NOW for leftovers or pre-made items.
Plan special event wardrobes NOW – you know there will be concerts, Church Services, Parties…go ahead and pick out what you’ll wear NOW! Make sure you have all the items you need ready to go – shoes polished, hosiery free of snags, no stains or missing fasteners, accessories such as jewelry, ties, hair bows, suspenders. Now is the time, so you can take the next weeks filling in any gaps like black socks, heavy tights, or that special length of ribbon to tie up “fancy hair”.
Make a commitment to attend only one special event per family member. That’s right! If your office does multiple events, pick one and go. Go to ONE Christmas program offered outside of your Church and schools. Attend the required events. Book a sitter NOW if necessary.
Create an emergency kit of candles, canned goods, blankets, flashlights, dry milk, granola bars and toss in bottles of water, matches, and extra cold weather gear. Stash it in the back of your vehicle. Make this appropriate for your climate zone.
If you’re travelling, book a house-sitter/pet-sitter/boarding kennel NOW. Put a reminder on your calendar NOW to stop the paper, mail, and arrange for a neighbor to pull in any deliveries. Make certain that whoever is caring for your house runs water through the faucets, turns on and off lights – anything to keep it appearing as though you are home. Insure someone is around to shovel your drive and walk if you live in the city. Have the check your water heater and furnace to make sure you don’t come home to a flood from something failing.

Above all, make sure you remember why you’re celebrating this Season! Regardless of your beliefs, this upcoming Season is magical. Choose happiness and joy, choose peace and contentment. Remember that NO ONE is perfect. There is NO SUCH THING as a perfect holiday.

I welcome your advice, recommendations, memories, and even the things you’re planning on doing!

PS– that Advent Calendar? Hasn’t happened yet…we ran into a crazy smoking deal of 60 pounds of apples for only $30, so I’ve been putting up applesauce, peaches and salsa for the last few weeks. If this mild weather continues in Colorado, I’ll get a third batch of salsa out of my tomato plants!

31 Days...

2011-10-04T15:18:00.001-06:00

Mrs. Ordinary has joined up with a group called "31 Days..." and has linked a FABULOUS site which contains links to many participants.

There are an overwhelming amount, but something that is sure to capture your interest.

While I'm not participating by writing posts this go 'round, I intend to check out some other bloggers and glean their knowledge and experience.

I'm going through some serious self-discovery, and thus far, I'm not so happy with what I'm discovering about my self. I'm a lot more selfish, and self-serving than I'd like to be...I'm also a lot less content, and a lot more prone to complain than to change. I'm working through undoing the bad stuff and, with God's help (cause I sure can't do it on my own!), recreate the good things that He has planned for who I am.

Please check out this link... http://www.thenester.com/2011/09/31-days-participants.html and see what you can find that will help your October and beyond be better.

I will restart my "Lighten the Load" series next Monday, the 10th. My next installment will be regarding Simplifying the Holiday Season. Please feel free to leave me questions or comments on the subject, especially as I'm totally a "Thanksgiving and Christmas" kind of girl with little or no interaction with folks of different religions that might celebrate Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, Ramadan, Kwanzaa and any other Holidays that might be out there. PS - I do celebrate and recognize Advent. This year will be my first attempt at a home-made Advent calendar (which is currently in the making!) with the kiddos...I'm so excited I'm all giddy like I'm going on my first date.

Thanks for hanging in here with me!

And really, go check out some of those amazing other blogs!

Potpourri

2011-09-29T16:06:00.003-06:00

Dear FarmWife - that deal is SO on...I'm praying for you and yours...and thanks for your comments, reminding me of my blessings. :D

Now, onto the business of well...I don't rightly know what business is today.

I'm feeling better about things, but I suppose that is the newness of the committment - you know how when you first make a decision to do something, and that first week is the honeymoon stage - everything is blissful, and easy, and wonderful, and you're happily floating along in the pink cloud of happiness about the positive changes you're making? Yup, I'm there. I'm praying that it will continue to feel easy for me for awhile, that I'll be able to be settled into a routine of being the new me before something else comes up.

I'm feeling physically better as well - I finally caved in and took 1/6th of a dose of NyQuil, and slept solidly for 6 hours. It was blissful to awaken this morning at least feeling rested, if still congested and raw-of-throat. Now? Not so much - we've been running today - BB decided to sleep in and not tell me until about 2 minutes before it was time to leave with Captain for school, so I had to load up the girls, drive to the south side of town (in reality, only a few miles each direction) and back, unload the girls, feed the girls breakfast, and load the girls up again to take Princess to preschool, unload the girls, get Princess checked in, load up Littlest One, and then drove to my folks to pick up a few things and ended up staying for 2 hours to "visit" with PreacherMan, who is in town on business. He ended up putting out fires for his job instead of visiting with us, but Littlest One delighted her Grands and I had a nice cup of tea and chat with my folks, who are headed to Florida to visit MissionaryMan and his family, who are state-side while his FIL is going through late stage cancer, with the end in sight. Joyful reason for a family visit eh? (boo, hiss!)

After that, I drove back to pick up Captain, did my normal Monday/Thursday routine of driving to the preschool on the extreme opposite side of town to pick up Princess, drove down Main St to the barber shop, wherein we hung out for about 40 minutes so Capt could be shorn (ok, it's not really that short...) in preparation for school pictures tomorrow, then continued down Main St to pick up fast food from the drive-through (what a great Mom I am eh?), drive home, consume lunch, have about 36 minutes to play and digest and then brush teeth to load up all 3 kids to take Capt to the dentist to have his mouth wound (did I tell you about that???) examined for what I hoped (and confirmed) to be the last time, then come home, change diapers, occupy my children with something to do while I stood around in a befuddled haze of congestion-induced loopiness and frustration over the lack of progress I made on any sort of housekeeping this week...and decided to check my email and visit some bloggy friends.

And now, hear I sit, at 4pm with nothing prepared from my meal plan, 2 new books beckoning me, Captain's AWANA book calling my name to get us started on his next 2 sections of memorization work, a load of laundry awaiting being folded, one in the dryer, one in the wash, one waiting to be washed, and a mountain of ironing. The good news? Tuesday afternoon, I baked! I made baked oatmeal (recipe to follow since it's super-easy, tasty and makes for quick mornings!), from-scratch brownies, a cheesecake (admittedly no-bake), and put together an amazing dinner for our craziest night.

Right now? I'm drooling over recipes in my 2 new favorite cookbooks: Homestyle Amish Cooking, and The Casserole Queens Cookbook. HOLY FREAKING COW, if I make those things, we will all gain about 200 pounds!

That said, I'm looking forward to reading my new books (after I do my homework and help Captain with AWANA). In the meantime?

Thanks for your prayers - we still don't know anything about BB's tests, or what is causing his issues, but I'm content. BB is ok for now - his vision is no longer blurry, his head still hurts, his shoulder hurts, he slept for 11 hours last night (which sort of irks me, but that's something I'm working on), and he has a good paying job that allows me to focus on being a wife and mom.

I'm off to tidy up the house so it at least doesn't look as though a clothing store, toy store, book store and crumb truck blew up...

Tonight, I'm going to bed early, and tomorrow I'll accomplish something that has a bit more visible results.

Sharing

2011-09-27T10:20:00.003-06:00

My parents, Sunday School teachers, and "regular" teachers always taught us to share - generosity is a good thing.

Until it comes to germs.

Littlest One, Capt, and Princess are all sporting varying degrees of sinus congestion and cough with Littlest One being the worst - most likely because at 18 months, she's not really getting the "blow your nose" thing quite yet.

BB is sporting symptoms of either Lyme Disease (but not a likely situation since the ticks in CO are generally NOT carriers of the disease), a stroke, OR, some other sort of bacterial infection resulting in migraine-like headaches accompanied by joint aches, stiff neck, and blurred vision.

Needless to say, our house is not a particularly happy place to be right, but I am striving to maintain a joyful attitude as I care for my family and their physical needs. I'm pushing through the daily tasks of housekeeping, and shouldering the bulk of the things BB normally does as well, as he just physically can't do them right now.

Please pray for the health of my family - that we'll be swiftly and easily restored to full physical health. Pray for BB and his doctor to determine what the cause of his issues are and that we can easily and swiftly be cured of them. Pray for me - I'm starting feel congested and have that tell-tale itch in my throat that usually signals the onset of a nasty cold. Being that I seem to end up with chest colds, bronchitis and the like every time I get sick, please pray that I will be able to stay hydrated and rest well to avoid getting sick at all. Please also be praying that I can continue in this new commitment to be joyful and look at my life as an at-home Mom and wife as my profession, not just "the way it is" with strength and energy.

On another note, I recently downloaded a podcast of a message from Church that we missed due to being out of town earlier this summer, and it was all about struggling with "attitude stuff". Our pastor cited Ephesians as his text that day, and I have now listened to the message 6 times. It has really touched a place in my heart as to how I can be a better woman, wife, mother, daughter etc.

The best illustration he gave? Imagine you fill a jar with water, and go through your day with that jar. No lid, no carrying device but your own hands. As you move through your day that jar will get jiggled, jostled, tipped, and as you go over the bumps some will spill over. Why does water come out of the jar? Because it is getting bumped etc? Because there is nothing on top to keep it in? Here's the answer: Water is coming out of the jar, because water is what is in the jar! Simply put, our attitude is at our control - what we put in (anger, frustration, bitterness, joy, happiness, contentment) is what will spill over when faced with tough situations!

Not truly profound when put into black and white, but WOW did that really whack me upside the head...God truly used that message to convict me of my own issues.

Are there things about BB that could be improved? Sure! He's human, after all. Is it my place to change him? NOPE! All I can do is control what I'm putting into my own mind, and what I'm allowing to spill over. I can communicate to the people in my life the things that can cause me frustration, but I can ONLY change how I react to the those things. I cannot make them change their own behavior.

That said, please be praying for me as I learn to fill myself with "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—anything...excellent or praiseworthy".

Eating Crow

2011-09-22T15:15:00.002-06:00

After I went back and re-read my 3 previous posts, I decided that I need some internal work.

This comes along, hand in hand with the Bible Study in which I'm participating this fall.

We're covering a book called "Character Makeover" by Katie Brazleton. So far, the introduction and first chapter have convicted me to my core.

Suffice it to say that I have not been very content with my blessings (which are legion!), and have instead, allowed myself to fall into the cycle of finding fault where there really is none to find.

My profound apologies to all of you for being subjected to my whiny complaining or my arrogance!

That said - moving forward, I will indeed strive to check my motivation prior to posting anything. I know there'll be rough days, and things I need to vent, but I'll be making sure that I let you all know that I'm doing just that.

In the meantime, I'm picking up a new book, called "Professionalizing Motherhood" by Jill Savage (that used to work with her husband Mark at LCC, and attended LBCC - my brother used to babysit for their kids!).

It should be here on Wednesday, and I can hardly wait for it to arrive and start reading it.

Sometimes I just think that I need a little perspective from someone who has been there done that, to whom I'm not related...

And sometimes, I need more than just the Word to remind me of how I should be doing things...

Sigh.

Does It Ever Get Easier?

2011-09-20T19:36:00.003-06:00

Today was another rough day emotionally for me. All the ugly feelings that I try not to have, the irrational thoughts, the frustrations...they were there in force today - so much so that I found myself with some really ugly thoughts that I'm uncomfortable even thinking about having had...

For some reason, BB and I have just been at odds lately. I have a feeling I know why, but that makes me more frustrated, because I'm tired of it being my fault that he's frustrated. I won't embarass you with details, but basically, if I don't drop everything to be "romantic" with him, he gets upset. I know that there are times that I truly am in the middle of something that would cause serious issues to just leave. I also know that there are times when I just don't want to be interrupted.

I hope I'm not alone in having trouble balancing caring for the kids, all the things that go along with having a home like laundry etc, and being a wife. I don't have issues making sure that BB's got clean clothes, lunches, that I have conversations with him about his day and the world outside of our home.

I think my struggle comes from the fact that I choose to get up early enough to get myself ready, and have ample time to get the kids ready for their days and BB sleeps until the last possible minute it takes for him to get himself ready. If things go awry in the morning, he gets easily frustrated, which makes me feel as though I have to scramble to fix everything, to soothe everyone and smooth things over. Which then makes me feel resentful that I'm doing "everything", which makes me not want to be anywhere near him...

And so you see my issues.

BB is an amazing man. He works his tail off to make sure the kids and I are cared for - we have an abundance in our lives. He's smart, resourceful, strong, funny, creative...I could wax poetic about him, but I won't bore you.

I know he is gone all day and that he misses us when he's gone. He cares deeply for us, and would do anything for us. I know that inside and out.

What gets me, is that some days I just struggle with feeling so angry and taken advantage of. And that stinks! I don't like feeling as though I'm a martyr or a victim, or that my husband and best friend is this evil, malicious man who has nothing better to do than leave me to do "all the work" of raising our family and caring for our home...

So, those who've been there, done that...tell me, does it get any easier?

Longing

2011-09-19T20:27:00.001-06:00

I suppose it's because Littlest One has literally taken off running, but I have been toying with, no, make that dangerously flirting with the idea of another baby. Keep in mind that BB said "two is the right number". And then we found out we were having Littlest One.

It's tough. Littlest One was sort of a shock to BB. Not in the "what were you thinking" sort of way, but in the "wait...you're what???" sort of way. Once we realized that we really were pregnant, it was all good. We were excited, sometimes a little nervous when we'd get caught up in thinking about the future, and the money it would take to raise and educate another little one.

But I remember a conversation shortly after Captain was born - within a few hours in fact - in which BB looked at me and said "with the difficulty we had getting this little guy, we'll take whatever God gives us".

And then somehow, somewhere, he got this notion in his head that we didn't have a big enough house, or we wouldn't have enough money, or any other reason he can come up with.

I don't know why, I don't pretend to understand. Other than the fact that he only grew up with a step brother that is 10 years older than he is, I have no idea why he's afraid of having a 4th baby.

Maybe someday, he'll be able to express to me what really lies behind the fear in his eyes when I say something about wanting another baby.

Until then, I will pray that God will show us the plan for our family - for contentment with where we are, and that which we have.

Lighten the Load

2011-09-19T08:37:00.001-06:00

Welcome to the first of what I hope to be a weekly series, in which we can share tips, techniques, experiences, advice, and wisdom. Where we can come to inspire, be inspired, and support one another. Please feel free to share with us! This will be a safe, non-judging environment with no right or wrong answers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For this week’s installment, I’m going to share some things I’ve found that work for my family in this season of life on how to keep Mt. St. Laundry under some semblance of control, as opposed to it controlling me.

Let me first share my family with you: We are a family of 5. BB works full-time in the corporate world, and enjoys wood working and “tinkering” in his free time. I’ve a 5-year-old son, and two daughters 3 ½ and 18 months. We also have 2 cats, but they don’t wear clothes, and so don’t contribute too much to this installment. I grew up in a family of 7 with both of my parents working full-time outside the house. I hope this helps you understand where I’m coming from in my tips below:

Create a Routine: However it works for you, find one and stick with it until it no longer works. Mine is a designated laundry slot on my calendar. Yup, I schedule doing laundry. Since it is a fact of life, like eating, it needs special treatment. I have a designated day for that being the “chore” on which I focus. I don’t ignore the other things around the house and in the family, but that is the primary focus for the day. This works in general. I realize that I have kids who don’t stay dry overnight, who still take cups of milk to bed with them, and who aren’t quite in tune with getting to a bathroom when they’re sick. For the most part, though, I can make it with once a week laundry sessions. In part because we have enough clothing items to allow for that, and also in part because I’m at home full-time, and can spend a half or full day in the process.
Ordered Chaos: Each of our bedrooms has a laundry basket in the closet for dirty clothes. This means that only what is in the basket gets laundered. It teaches the kids responsibility and respect. It keeps things off the floor, and gives them a sense of ownership in the process, making them more willing to pitch in. It also provides me a place to sort and store the laundry on laundry day. I can sort all the clothing in my chosen way: jeans/trousers, colors, whites, sheets/towels, and diapers (which stay in their pail until they get put in the machine). I can carry the basket to the laundry room, while the other baskets live in our upstairs hall until their turn. I don’t get overwhelmed, I don’t lose items on the way to the washer, and it insures that it gets done!
Conscript the Troops: Your family members create the dirty clothes, therefore, they need to assist in getting them clean again. Have your kids help with age-appropriate tasks – sorting the dirty clothes, putting the dirty clothes in the machine, getting the wet stuff into the dryer, matching socks, putting their clean items away, folding, carrying baskets etc. This includes your husband helping!

The above tips help with making it easier, but not really lessening the work. Below are some ways I can do less laundry:

Respect the Garment: treat stains as soon as you can. Check for loose buttons, pulled threads etc, and fix them ASAP prior to laundering the item. Fixing that button or clipping that thread could save that item completely as well as extend the life of your machines. Nothing to get tangled or snagged or jammed!
Re-use Towels: I know some of you don’t agree with this, but in general, unless you’re sick, injured, or cleaned up something unsanitary, you can hang your towels (dish and bath) to dry and re-use them again. We use our bath towels for a week unless some bodily fluid has gotten on it. Think about it – you just took a shower, or used soap to bathe your kids. There is no dirt, oil, or germs on that towel. Just make sure you’ve got ample towel bar space or hooks, and that they can hang to dry completely between uses. Unless you live somewhere really humid, aim for one week of use! Dish towels get tossed into the dirty laundry every few days, unless I’ve cleaned up raw meat juice with it. I have a separate cloth for wiping Littlest One’s hands and face from that used to wipe the table or counters. I only buy white so they can be washed in hot water and bleached.
Put it Back: If you just got home from the office and you know you’ll be doing something like painting a room, or mowing the grass, you change first right? Well, unless you spilled or have a “dirty job”, you can probably hang those trouser up in your closet and wear them again another day. Same with that blouse you wore for 2 hours at Church! I personally re-wear items other than socks and undies up to 3 times, unless I’ve spilled or been really sweaty. Teach your kids to do this. It will save the amount of clothing in that basket, and it makes the clothes last longer. This applies to those items you layer too! That cardigan you had on over that shirt? Unless somebody snotted on you, or you spilled, is NOT dirty.
Event Specific Items: If you know you’re going to change the oil, you’re not likely to wear an expensive or “nice” pair of pants and shirt. You’ve most likely got those loved, stained items that you use for painting, or gardening, or working out. You also probably have items that are specifically for going out. I know I have a different set of things I wear to Church or for errands, than I do for the days I’m hanging out at home “just” being a Mom. If an event only takes part of the day – say the morning I go to Bible Study, or the few hours of Church Services – I know that I’m coming home and will change out of those clothes into something else. The stuff I just wore? Unless I spilled on it, or got something from the kids on it, it goes back into the closet to be worn again.

Now let’s look at some cost-saving ideas:

Cold Water: how does this save money? First, it saves your garments from stress of hot water, making them last longer, which means less trips to the store (less gas, less impulse shopping) to replace them. Second, it saves on your utility bill because you’re not using water that has to be heated by electricity or gas.
Line Dry: this also saves wear and tear on your items – that heat in the dryer can literally fry your clothes right into the rag-pile! You can avoid shrinking that favorite sweater or your husband’s college t-shirt that he’s had since his Freshman year. It also saves money because you’re not running the dryer, which, in some cases, means you’ll run your cooling system less! Even the most well-vented dryer will emit heat into the room, making your home warmer. In the winter, this is GREAT – in the summer heat? Not so much! Weather you have fans, window units, or central A/C, if you can avoid heating up the interior, you save money when you don’t have to cool it as much! This also helps in that you’re less likely to have to iron items, which saves electricity, time, and wear and tear on your clothes.
Use Less: Whether it’s detergent, water, or softener, any time you can use less, it will usually result in more money in your bank account. Check your machine for load-size and duration. How to know if you’re using too much soap? Toss a load in without any, and check the machine during the “wash” or agitate cycle. If you see any suds, your clothes aren’t getting fully rinsed. Cut back by 1/3 to ½ the amount you normally use, and see what happens! I personally use homemade detergent that costs pennies on the dollar compared to others. I don’t add any perfumes, and obviously there are no dyes. I create less waste (no plastic jugs) and storage is easy! It works GREAT – better than most name-brands in fact.

I hope this helps, and I know it’s a not a surefire way of suddenly NOT having laundry, or even cutting it in half, but if you can take a few small tips away that make you feel better about the act of laundry, well, that’s a bonus! Please, take some time to share your tips, techniques, go-to answers for stain removers (I always wonder if club soda will really work on that stain!) etc.

And, now, without further ado, here is the recipe I use for my homemade laundry detergent:

1/3 bar of Fels Naptha brand soap (found in the laundry/cleaning supplies aisle)

½ C Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda (NOT baking soda!)

½ C Borax 20 Mule Team Cleaning Powder

Water

2 Gallon (minimum size) container for storage

Grate the Fels Naptha into a large saucepan, and add 6 cups of water. Place on low heat until soap is melted.

Add the washing soda and borax powder and stir until dissolved.

Place 4 C hot water in your bucket, add your soap mixture and stir well.

To the bucket, add 1 gallon PLUS another 6 Cups of water and stir well. Cover and make sure the lid is sealed.

Let it sit 24 hours before first use to allow the soap to gel somewhat.

Use ½ C per load, more for heavily soiled items, and less for lightly soiled items. This is a low-suds soap, so don’t look for lots of foam. You can add ½ to 1 oz of essential oil if you want scent.

I use this on Littlest One's diapers, ½ C per load, on hot water. I sometimes do an extra warm water rinse to insure all the soap is out, but it seems to rinse well!

Enjoy!

Lighten the Load

2011-09-08T10:31:00.002-06:00

Our Moms' group is going to be doing a book study/club with "Living on Less So Your Family Can Have More" or something like that.

I am assuming, without even looking at the book, that it will be talking about how we can simplify and cut back and and streamline. Since I don't currently have a copy of the book, I'm making up my own ideas and will be sharing some with you on how I've found "cutting back" to be beneficial.

Some of it will be financial. Some of it will simply be little things here and there, that some might call multi-tasking, or "working smart, not hard".

I know that we're each in our own season of life with our families and workloads, and am in no way assuming that I'm some fount of knowledge. BUT, if something I bring up helps someone out, well, that's a bonus!

I'm sort of stealing this idea from Mrs Ordinary, and hope she doesn't mind, but I know that it helps to have things layered and hear them from a different perspective.

I, too, grew up in a large-ish family. I am one of 5 kids spanning roughly 12 years. My folks both worked full-time outside the home, and things were always just financially tight enough that we couldn't do the "really cool" things like go skiing, or take plane flights on vacations, or take dance, piano, and voice lessons as well as have name brand clothing that was purchased new just for us. Things were comfortable enough that we always had enough food to eat, the appropriate clothing for all weather conditions, that fit us, were new, and we had safe cars to drive and lived in a well-kept house. We were each allowed to be involved in 2 activities - one through Church (not counting weekly attendance at Service and Youth Group), and one through school/community. We all learned to play at least one musical instrument (I personally play 8 tolerably well), and took lessons for at least one of those instruments in any given school year. I went to one year at a private religious college (where I met FarmWife and Inkling), and then returned to Colorado for the remaining years at a 4-year State University. I worked in the corporate sector for a total of 11 years during college and early married life before being blessed to stay at home to raise Captain, Princess and Littlest One. I attend a non-denominational Christian Church (actually a mega-church) and am involved in the Womens' Ministry through a small group Bible Study and the Moms' Group. I am involved in the Worship Ministry and sing on a Praise Team roughly once a month or so. Now that you know who I am, in a very tiny nutshell...

My idea for this is to simply share with you ways that I am streamlining my own life - working smarter, not harder, if you will - and gather your tips and techniques on streamlining.

I'll focus on one area each week.

I know I'm far from perfect, and am certainly not claiming any sort of omnipotence or even competency in these areas. I'm just sharing what I know from my own experience.

Our first topic for Sept 19 will be tips and techniques for lightening the laundry load - what things do you do for removing stains/odors? How do handle dirty laundry - individual baskets/hampers for each family member or communal in a bathroom or hallway? How do you handle the actual act of "doing laundry" - how do you sort it, what temp of water do you use? Do you iron or take things to the cleaner? Air or machine dry? When do you hand off things to the kids and what things get handed off? Do you re-wear/re-use items or do they all go in at the end of the day of wearing?

Feel free to think about this and pay attention to those fun "home remedies" for things, and be advised I will be sharing a recipe for homemade laundry detergent that actually works, and really does end up costing only pennies per load!

I hope you'll come back and see what else is going on in my world.

Laundry List

2011-09-06T12:23:00.003-06:00

OK - thanks to Mrs Ordinary, over at Ordinary Days, posted her latest installment of "You Can Do It" on less laundry.

At first, I was like "really? you think I can do LESS laundry with 5 people in the house, 3 of which still have trouble keeping food on their utensils, and refuse to walk around anything that is wet and/or muddy?" Then, I read her simple tips. If you haven't already, head over and check it out. She's pretty darn extraordinary in my mind for many reasons, least of which are her laundry habits.

After I read it, I started thinking about just how much laundry I really end up doing.

Here's my usual breakdown of laundry loads each week:

Colors
Pants
Whites & Towels (I only use white towels)
Sheets
Diapers (Littlest One wears cloth)

Right now, Captain is still struggling with staying dry overnight, and when he wakes up wet, I do his bedding and jammies.

On a GREAT week, I only do 5 loads. Sometimes, I can do 12 (if Captain is wet every day).

Here's how I lighten the load - literally!

Reuse our towels. They get hung after every use to dry, and we live in a dry climate, so I'm not worried about mildew or even mustiness unless they get left in the washer accidentally.
Re-wear clothing such as pants, dressy clothes, and sweatshirts or cardigans -anything that is the "top layer" will get worn again unless I've spilled. I'm working on this with the kids.
Pre-treat stains ASAP. I've got kids. They get dirty. They spill. Somehow, they even manage to get markers and paint all. over. their. clothes. And washable Crayola? HA!! SO, I use my laundry tub and pretty much have it full of water and my stain remover of choice. I toss in the item, and swoosh it around til it's soaked and then, when laundry day rolls around, I toss it in the machine and wash it up. That way, I do no double-washing to get stains out of articles of clothing.

I totally understand where Mrs Ordinary is coming from on cutting back the size of your wardrobe. The fewer articles of clothing you have, the less laundry you'll do. It sounds counter-intuitive I know, but if you KNOW that you only have enough pieces of clothing to make it through 7 weeks, you know that you HAVE to keep up with your laundry!

I pick one day each week and do all the laundry. That does mean that I'm up early-ish, so I can build in that "extra" 15 minutes to put fresh bedding on all 4 beds, and put out 5 new sets of towels. It also means that only ONCE each week do I face the task of sorting, carting, washing, drying, folding, and putting away clothing. I do my ironing the following day. And yes, I iron. I press BB's work shirts, any pants that aren't made from denim, and about 65% of the girls' wardrobes. I just don't like rumpled.

Anyway, I hope that you can find ways to start simplifying your life with little things like laundry.

Updated Request on Tyler

2011-09-05T07:50:00.003-06:00

Thank you all for praying these last days.

It's been a week since Tyler's accident and already he is off the breathing tubes for 5 hours at a time, is being propped up in his bed, and is communicating verbally, and his personality is back to normal. He recalls everything leading up to the accident, talking to his Dad from the Jeep immediately afterwards, and has been concerned about his passengers (his brother, best friend, and the Italian exchange student that will be living with them this school year).

His first surgery to repair his vertebrae went really well, and he's recovering as well as can be expected. His team of nurses is, to quote his Dad, "bad ass". They are aggressive with Tyler and are pushing him past what he thinks he can do, but making sure to do it in the way in which Ty responds best - as a challenge.

Please continue praying for Tyler, as his tests for neural conductivity are inconclusive at best - it appears the pathways to his arms and hands were NOT damaged or compromised, but there is still no voluntary control. His legs showed nothing, but that is to be expected with this type of injury.

I'll have information available if there's anyone you know who'd like to contribute thoughts, well-wishes, or money to help the family with expenses not covered under their insurance.

Thanks!

Prayer Request - URGENT

2011-08-29T10:12:00.004-06:00

Please pray immediately and fervently - passing this onto your prayer teams and family members!

The 16-year old son of one of our local ball coaches, Tyler Hoog, was in a 4-wheeling accident Sunday.

He broke his 2nd, 3rd, and 4th cervical vertebrae (the ones in his neck), and has some head injuries. He is currently experiencing a TON of swelling and is paralyzed from the neck down. He is in ICU in a hospital in Denver that is AWESOME. The doctors don't know at this point if his paralyzation is permanent or due to the swelling.

Please pray for his mom, dad, and brothers to be at peace, to have wisdom and guidance as they are asked to make difficult decisions in the coming days for Tyler's care and well-being.

Pray for the doctors to have clarity and wisdom regarding Tyler's care and prognosis.

Pray for Tyler's friends at school - he is on the baseball team, one of those "popular" kids that everyone knows and loves. He's an amazing student, just one of the good kids. His friends are all worried and scared and without lots of information. Pray for them to have peace and to still their tongues and only relay truth and facts. Pray they will hold each other up and be safe as they are now distracted by this worry. Pray they will be able to come together and support and love one another.

Pray specifically for his teammates - that they will continue to support and encourage one another as they travel to and from their homes, school, and the hospital. That they will choose wisely and safely to live their lives.

Pray for our neighbor and dear friend Adam, one of Tyler's closest friends. He is scared silly right now, and doesn't quite know how to handle the fear and uncertainty. As a 15-year-old boy, he's at the age of not really a boy, not quite a man and his father can sometimes be harsh and undemonstrative of his emotions. Pray that Adam will be able find a safe way to communicate his fears and grief without ridicule or negativity.

Pray for BB and I as we support our neighbors - that we'll have the words from the Spirit to provide comfort and support and love to them.

Pray for our neighbors and the parents of all the students affected by this - that they will have the right words and actions to be amazing rocks of support and love for their children.

Pray for our community to come together in support of this family - Coach Hoog went to school with my oldest brother, played ball with several men who are still part of this community. His college friends have all gone onto different locations but are still close - their kids are friends, and some of the parents are coaches at college levels, and even some in the Major League.

Thank you and I'll do my best to keep you posted.

The Results Are In

2011-08-26T09:37:00.002-06:00

I received a call from our pediatrician today. Littlest One's EEG came back normal, which means there is nothing that indicates a need for further testing or medication. It also means we don't and won't ever know why she had that seizure on the 9th. It does mean that we do NOT need to see a neurologist.

I cried after I hung up the phone. Just knowing that there's nothing wrong, nothing they can see that caused it. It is a mixed bag of emotions. I'm grateful that our baby is healthy and whole in mind and body. I'm grateful for the awesome doctors and nurses and techs who cared for us over the last 2 weeks. I'm grateful that we don't need anymore testing or doctor appointments. I'm frustrated that we don't know what happened to cause the seizure in the first place. I'm frustrated that I will never know what happened or why, or if it might happen again.

I hugged and loved my baby girl and am simply waiting for BB to call me so we can talk about whether or not he wants to see the neurologist still.

I cannot thank you enough for your prayers and thoughts and love. So many of you I'll most likely never see face to face to say thank you and tell you how much it means to have such wonderful friends. I never imagined in a million years that some of my favorite people are those I only know through the wonders of technology...

God bless each one of you and thank you again!!!!!

Banishing the Grumpies

2011-08-24T09:56:00.003-06:00

I opened all the windows and doors to our house this morning, early, to let in the fresh cool air of the pre-sunrise morning. All I could hear were the few birds awakening, some crickets, and our sprinklers. It was lovely.

I also opened all the windows and doors of myself this morning.

I was very grumpy and gripy yesterday. Yes, I work hard, and yes, I appreciate Inkling's support and desire to get my back.

I know that my husband isn't perfect and that we're both still under God's amazing construction. Sometimes, I just get impatient that we're not quite finished yet you know?

SO - as I was enjoying this morning, simply sitting in the stillness, breathing in the fresh air, I was nudged (ok, it was more like someone whacked my head a la LeRoy Jethro Gibbs) by the Spirit to just release it. Just let it all go.

I am not perfect. I make mistakes, I forget things, I say I'll do things and then either allow or choose other things to be higher on the priority list and not keep my word. I lose my temper. I get angry and frustrated over stupid, petty things.

Who in the world honestly and truly can claim they NEVER or ALWAYS do things????

As I sat, breathing quietly, deeply, in the calm and stillness, embracing the rich headiness of the fresh air, letting out the heaviness and staleness of my night's sleep, I started having bits of Scripture pop into my head. Nothing profound to the world at large, but just those little gentle reminders that I am not the queen of anything. I am not worthy or deserving of love, grace, mercy...but Jesus offered it to me anyway.

I had a talk with BB after breakfast, while the kids were finishing up their food, and simply told him I'm sorry for being cranky, and sorry for assuming he was seeing only the worst things.

Ironically, he had no clue that I felt that way - apparently, even though I thought I had clearly stated my frustrations, he had completely missed it. It could have been that he was caught up in the things bothering him at the office, or that he was just ignoring me. Point is that he was in the dark, and I thought I had informed him.

Guess what' on our list of "things to work on improving"?? Why yes, it is our talking to one another.

I'm going to work on being more vocal about being worn out, needing help, or just feeling unappreciated. I did tell him that he is not completely off the hook from doing little things like flowers, or a card or a special meal that he either makes or decides where we're going. Just to make sure he's telling me with words AND deeds that he sees the work I'm putting in (because we all know the house doesn't clean itself, nor the laundry do itself!), and appreciates it.

He's working on making sure he tells me what he's going through, even if I don't remember to ask how his day was.

Needless to say, I'm pulling out the Love Dare. Again.

And any time I start to feel the grumpies taking up residence again, I'll be banishing them posthaste.

Escape

2011-08-23T21:40:00.002-06:00

I need a vacation. A serious, really real, not visiting family members for some holiday or life-altering event vacation. One, preferably, in a sunny locale, perhaps on a beach somewhere. I have visions of white sand stretching for miles with only the blue sky, the sun, the endless blue-green waters and the sound of the ocean lapping the shore. There will be a gentle breeze to keep my from becoming a wilted flower, and someone to conveniently replenish my cold beverages.

No children will be screaming - at me, one another, or just to make noise. There will be no dirty laundry, no noses, faces, hands, or bottoms to wipe. No floors to clear of crumbs and sticky spots. No cat hair to vacuum, no meals to plan, prepare and clean up. No errands to run...

And tonight, I have to add "no BB" to that vision.

I admit that with Littlest One's issues, we've both been stressed out, and are, therefore short-tempered. (hard to imagine, I know, what with my mild demeanor and easy going attitude) He is under pressure at work, dealing with a co-worker who has taken it upon himself to have personal vendetta against BB. The kids are in some sort of frenzy that is causing them to rise at 6am, not want to eat anything that is given to them, not want to do anything but sit on the couch and watch TV (which I will not cater to), or run around screaming like banshee's and basically acting like the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes days...

I'm working hard (as ever) to keep things neat, tidy, clean, and keep good food on our table while staying in our budget...

Over the last 5 days or so, BB has been making snarky comments about the quality of my work.

Now, I take pride in what I do. I admit it. Maybe it's too much pride. Maybe I've started defining myself and my worth by how shiny my counters are and how clean my floors are. I don't know. But it irritates me that I feel as though I'm working my rear off (yes, even with all the ministry help we've had I'm still finding housework to do), and the one comment he makes is negative.

I don't care if you're joking, kidding around, teasing, making light of, trying to lighten a mood...you'd think that a capable, decision-making adult with all their faculties intact would get the message that they're not funny. It is not amusing, it does not make me feel good or want to be nice to you. It certainly does not make me want to enjoy the (ahem) intimacies of marriage...

And yet, after a few days of comments, which I did let BB know gently that I was bothered by, he got mad at me for not wanting to, in his words, fool around.

I admit, at that point, I gave him The Look. The one where I flare my nostrils, raise one eyebrow, curl my lip ever so slightly and tilt my head just so to convey my disbelief and distaste for that which has or is currently occurring. I said, in a very cold voice, that if he wanted to fool around, he'd best rethink his method of communication and the message he is sending.

I do not take lightly people who choose to treat me as though I'm inferior, and that is precisely what he's been doing.

Again. I don't care why. I try really hard NOT to take out my frustrations with people or circumstances on someone or something that is in no way involved in creating said frustrations.

I try to honor and respect BB every day, but I'll tell you something...there comes a time when I can only handle so much and then I snap.

It might not be right, and I'm prayerful of it because I do want to be a better, kinder, softer person.

That said - someone send the cabana boy over with a fresh round of margaritas, and someone freshen up my suntan lotion...

Pardon Me While I Blow Off Some Steam

2011-08-22T16:27:00.002-06:00

I am very frustrated right now.

I have a friend, whom I've known since I was 8. She was adopted into a wonderful family with 3 older biological siblings (much like my own sister's situation). Her adoptive family NEVER once said or did anything to make her feel inferior in any way. Her oldest brother went to college on academic scholarship, the second on athletics. Her sister was in a show choir, a dancer, a cheerleader. All of the family is warm, sincere, friendly, loving, kind, compassionate...

And somewhere along the way, she got this stupid idea into her head that she couldn't let go that she was less. She wasn't a top student. She wasn't on Varsity teams. She was in the choir and drama club, sings amazingly, plays piano beautifully, dances divinely.

Each of the boys are different in their hair and eye color - one favors their mother physically, but has his father's hair color. One looks like their dad, but has their grandfather's coloring. Her sister is blonde, and blue-eyed. Their mother is dark. She is dark-haired, brown-eyed. Exotic looks due to her biological parents being of Spanish descent with GORGEOUS naturally curly hair...

Somewhere along the way, she decided she had to be the rebel. She didn't want to go to Church (I get that, been there, had the same struggle within myself, but God doesn't have grandchildren! We each come to our faith on our own decision, not that of our families), so she started hanging out with a group of kids in junior and senior high that were rumored to be trouble makers. They skateboarded. They smoked. Supposedly, they were the ones to go to if you wanted illegal substances. I never knew them that way - they just enjoyed different music and clothing than I did. They liked the grunge look and riding around on a board attached to wheels. Not for me, but they were always cool - funny, interesting, just...people you know?

I also felt that way about those who were athletic (as I was SO not), or into other hobbies than I had. They were just people - I never felt as though I had to measure up to anyone else's standard.

Never felt like I had to be my brothers, or that my teachers or Church family expected me to be a certain way. If they did, I was totally oblivious to it.

Fast forward - my friend was married early on, has a 13 year old daughter who is beautiful and talented and amazing and smart (just like my friend at that age). She was divorced and later remarried a fairly good guy. I always thought he was sort of a schmuck, but she seemed happy and they seemed to complement one another. They had a son, who is about the same age as Princess.

Somewhere in the midst of the time between junior high and now, she discovered she is an addict. I don't know (nor do I need to know) details.

She went through some rehab after the second marriage fell apart. Along the way, she moved into the cool apartment her folks have in their home, where her widowed grandmother used to live...where her older sister lived for a time during some difficulties. Where her oldest brother and sister-in-law lived while they got on their feet after college. Where her second brother and sister-in-law lived EACH of the 5 times, they needed some assistance. That's just her family, you know?

Somewhere along the way, someone decided she shouldn't be taking care of her children, and her parents took them. Now, they are being adopted by her oldest brother and sister-in-law.

I realize how much that sucks. I cannot imagine someone telling me I was doing such a bad job with my life that I couldn't be a mom either...I've watched my own sister go through this. I know what it's like to lose a marriage, to feel like your family is judging you as a failure, is disappointed in you.

I know that it is truly awful...

What I don't get is how still, to this day, after all the outpouring of love and support and encouragement and love and reassurances, she can still sit there and say "it is all their fault."

Today, in fact, she posted something really negative on FB and I had to step in...I tried as hard as I could to be encouraging in my words - leaving nothing open to interpretation of anything negative or judgmental...

And after a short conversation, she posts "some people don't know what it's like to lose everything and they just don't get it".

I'm sitting here now, thinking, no, KNOWING that she's sitting there thinking about how perfect my life is, how I've always had everything handed to me on a silver platter, and I'm PISSED OFF about it.

I know that no matter what I say or do, she will ALWAYS feel that way about me. I know this, because my sister feels the same way. No matter what happens for the rest of my life, or theirs, I will always be this epitome of perfection, of something that they feel they can never be.

This past weekend at Church, our sermon was about Peter and his failures, his false starts. And how, at the end, Jesus basically said "Dude, I don't CARE what happened before. This is NOW! I need to know if you love me NOW, today on this beach, in this moment! Because if you do, then get out there and become who I want you to be NOW...not who you think you should have been. Be who I love in this moment, and forever. Because no matter what happened BEFORE - it's done. You can't erase it. You can only move forward from it."

I just get so angry at people who sit there think that they have no responsibility for where they are. I'm not talking about being in an accident or having some genetic issue that resulted in physical or mental delays or disabilities. I'm certainly not talking about someone like Inkling's friends who lost their husband and father in a crazy, ridiculously freaky accident...

I'm talking about the person who chose to pick up a cigarette, or a beer, or a joint, or a syringe, or a prescription bottle. No one held you down and made you do it. No one (in most cases) held you down and made you have sex with someone you weren't married to. No one tied you up and poured that drink down your throat.

In this case, both my friend AND my sister knew, had been told countless times that their biological parents were addicts. Neither of those households had alcohol around. In fact, I remember distinctly a conversation with her parents about their own choice not to have alcohol in their home and WHY they chose to teach their kids the same thing. I know my own folks' reasons for not having it around.

It still just amazes me how people can choose, and choose and choose and choose, and STILL blame their circumstances on the people around them...

GAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Maybe someday, when I'm in heaven and can ask, I'll get it, but right now, on this earth, in this place, it just makes me want to scream...

Still Waiting

2011-08-22T13:03:00.002-06:00

I'd like to thank you all for praying for Littlest One...

To date, we've had not even a shadow of a hint of another seizure...thank God for His mercies and healing.

Her EEG went well - she was only mad when the tech held her head still to measure and mark for the little electrode thingies.

She was running on about 4 hours of sleep, over tired, over stimulated, over everything! She was whiny and cranky and fussy until this sweet little lady who is probably someone's amazing grandmother took us back and did the test. She was funny, sensitive...truly wonderful.

Littlest One hung out on the hospital bed in a room with some lullabies and some ocean wave sort of noise. I was relieved that it was quiet, in the farthest corner of the farthest hallway of the office, so no outside noises should keep her awake. She got all hooked up, and we snuggled her under her blanket, with me laying beside her on the bed, and BB sitting on a rocking chair next to her other side. She guzzled her milk and fell asleep pretty quickly.

The downsides?

- she only got to sleep long enough to be refreshed but not fully rested, so was too awake to fall asleep in the car on the ride home

- we still don't have any results

I'm antsy, impatient at the best of times, but this not knowing WHAT caused the seizure in the first place is weighing heavily on me. It is hard enough to watch my kids go through things like stomach bugs and/or minor injuries from bumps and the like, but to watch something completely uncontrollable make your child stop breathing, and then to be whisked away to the ER in the ambulance not knowing if your child is ok or not takes it to another level. Had it been because she choked on something, I would feel somewhat better. At least I would know WHY it happened.

I am freakishly aware of her breathing...even now, as she's snoozing in her bed for afternoon nap, and the baby monitor is at it's normal pre-seizure level of volume, I can hear her breathing. I know what sounds are normal and what are not.

We left her in the nursery at Church on Saturday night (lower attendance, higher worker:child ratio) for the first time since it happened and I had a hard time concentrating on worship and the sermon.

Thankfully our child care staff is AWESOME and one of the workers was someone with whom I'm friends in real life and on Facebook, so she knew what had been going on. There were 3 other workers, and about 12 other babies. She sat with Littlest One the entire hour just so she could keep an eye on her and make sure nothing was happening with her!

We've been blessed with meals, someone came over and cleaned the house for me while we were picking Captain up from school - they literally came in with all the ladies from their home group and the crew of 18 ladies each took an area or job in the house and had our entire home cleaned spotlessly from top to bottom in the 40 minutes it took me to drive to the school, unload the girls, pick up Captain, load all the kids up, and drive home. There was a bouquet of fresh flowers on the kitchen table, dinner in my crock-pot and a handwritten note that simply said "your Angel tapped us on the shoulder to be your tangible angels here on earth". After crying I realized that there was a message on the answering machine that said not to panic that all our dirty clothes were missing - they'd taken all our laundry home with them. It came back, washed, air dried, folded, pressed - one lady even mended the hems of Princesses sundresses that have come undone this summer and sewed buttons back on BB's work shirts - they literally took every scrap of clothing that wasn't already hung up or in a drawer and laundered it. Several of the ladies told us NOT to do our weeding and mowing, as their sons would be by over the next weeks to take care of it all.

I awoke last Saturday morning to find that every weed had been removed from my yard, they'd trimmed all our shrubs, bushes, pruned some trees, dead-headed all my flower gardens that needed it, mowed, trimmed, edged, and hauled away all the waste. They even harvested all our veggies and left them in a basket on our front doorstep with a box of doughnuts and a thermos of coffee so BB and I could enjoy some quiet time with one another and have a treat.

I've had more phone calls, postcards, notes, and emails in the last 2 weeks than in my entire life...

I'm so overwhelmed with the outpouring of ministry, of God's love in the flesh...I can't even begin to describe it.

I only know that I will never in a million years be able to feel as though I've passed on the love to anyone else in my life...

Our follow-up with the neurologist is not until the 31st, and I've received an email from the coordinator of our Care Team from Church stating that we'll be receiving dinners each night until then, and that half of the meal providers will be bringing breakfast things and the other lunch things so I don't have to fret about feeding my family.

We have boxes of dry goods and canned goods, recipes, freezer meals...and one lady told me last night that she'll be back to do my ironing later today.

It's crazy...Crazy Love for family in need and totally awesome...

Bits and Pieces

2011-08-16T14:01:00.003-06:00

Well, the school supplies are all labeled, the uniform pieces are laundered and put away. The backpack and shoes are lined up in the utility room.

I've got the books out of the boxes, but not on the shelves...

I'm still just feeling sort of burned out, and am sort of antsy for the end of this month - wherein Princess will be in school two days a week.

I'm seriously considering bypassing the Moms group this fall - it starts at 9:30, and is over at 11:30. Captain is done with school at 11:15. I'd have to leave to pick the girls up from class and load them in the car and be leaving by 11. I'm contemplating if it's really worth the money I'd be paying to only get to spend a bit more than an hour there...

In other news - Littlest One's EEG is tomorrow morning. Please be praying for us - she has to have a half-night's sleep, and stay awake til 9:45, when the appointment starts, at which point she is supposed to sleep - with the little things glued to her head...Yeah...that's my thought exactly!

Anyway - your prayers are much appreciated, for the preparation tonight and tomorrow morning, for the test itself, for the doctors to get the information quickly and read it accurately, for our hearts and minds to be at ease as we place our precious baby in God's hands. Again.

I know that parenting is tough - full of emotional ups and downs, heart-wrenching moments, joy, terror...but I do not ever expect it to become any easier to see my children in pain of any sort - especially when things are outside my control...

Restless

2011-08-15T22:29:00.002-06:00

I really ought to be sleeping. Or at least heading in that direction.

Captain starts Kindergarten this week. Princess is itching to get back to preschool. Littlest One has an EEG on Wednesday. I have a plethora of garden produce to harvest and then make edible in some form or fashion. I have about 6 loads of laundry to do. My books are still sitting in boxes waiting for me to unpack and shelve them. Littlest One's next size of clothing is washed, dried, folded and sitting in tubs in front of her closet doors waiting to be put away. Princess has a stack of dresses laying on her closet floor in need of hangers. I need to label Captain's school supplies and clear out our utility room so the kids have their places for their backpacks, shoes, coats etc. I have a pile of ironing that is about 3 feet deep. I have bathrooms to scrub, floors to wash, furniture to dust.

And tonight, sitting here, all I can think of is how nice it would be to take a long soak in a bubble bath...the kind where you sit there til the water is cold and the bubbles are gone and you're so wrinkly your kids could mistake you for a raisin...

Sigh.

Alright...I'm going to bed now.

Please Pray for Littlest One

2011-08-11T14:44:00.002-06:00

Littlest One had a seizure Tuesday morning. She was fine one second, and the next, she was on her back on the family room floor, not breathing, lips blue, twitching...

Right now, she's fine. She was not unconscious long enough to be concerned with brain damage. Her motor skills, and cognitive abilities are all back to 100% (and were within a few hours of the event). Our pediatrician sees that she is normal.

We do, however, still have to have an EEG and see a neurologist.

Please pray for the upcoming visits - EEG is the 17th, and the consultation is the 31st of this month.

We don't have any restrictions, we can carry on normally with our lives.

She had no fever, no injuries, no falls, no exposure to any odd visual cues or sounds, no exposure to toxic chemicals.

Please pray for us that we're one of the families that has a one-time episode and that is all.

Please pray for BB and I to not be consumed by our fears and worries. God has us all in His hands, and His ways are not ours. Please pray for the doctors to have the answers we need, and that our visits go smoothly.

We spent a very overwhelming 4 hours at the hospital, and very intense afternoon and night of wakeful watching over her.

Since our follow up with our pediatrician, we do not have to be with her 24 hours a day, but we are to keep a "heightened state of monitoring" until we get the results of the EEG. At the end of the month. This means that if she is awake, either BB or I must be in the same room with her in case she has another seizure.

This means that I can't run around and do things like clean a bathroom, or change the bedding unless she is in the room with me.

This means that I now have a total of 4 hours maximum each day to do things when she is sleeping that require my being in a different location in the house.

That said, I'm logging off, and taking advantage of her being asleep to shuffle some things around on a bookcase or 3 and get some of my old books back into circulation, since I won't be hitting our local library any time before September.

I appreciate your prayers and well-wishes. Please understand if I don't respond right away.

Those Who Don't Work...

2011-08-07T20:57:00.002-06:00

Ordinary Sara asked for tips on how to incorporate your children in housework. She offered up some tips that I guess I just took for granted as basic knowledge...but here's why I have given my children responsibilities from the tender age of 2 1/2 or so...

I have a neighbor whom I love dearly that has a 17 and 15 year old who are constantly at odds with each other and their parents. The biggest cause of their domestic discord? CHORES and RESPONSIBILITY. Seriously. No one in that house know how to use the washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum cleaner but her! YIKES! It is a constant battle just to get them to put away their shoes and backpacks after they come home from school...

Needless to say, Captain Chaos, Princess of Everything, and even Littlest One are responsible for things around the house. The big kids take turns feeding our cats, setting and clearing the table. They all help pick up and put away toys, the big kids help me by putting away their clean clothes. They even use the hand vac I have and vacuum the carpet on the stairs. They are responsible to put their shoes, jackets, backpacks away.

One thing we've done since they were each around 2 1/2 or so, is to add to their responsibilities according their abilities and passions. Princess LOVES to help cook, so she gets to help "measure" ingredients and stir things. Captain adores helping BB, so he gets to do things around the yard etc.

One other thing we started doing is along Dave Ramsey lines - we pay the kids commission for jobs and chores that are outside the norm.

My explanation to people who think I'm a slave drive or drill instructor (they say please, thank you, yes ma'am/sir and hold doors open while waiting for their elders too!)? Everyone lives in the house, everyone makes the messes so EVERYONE helps to clean it up!

Recent additions? They get a damp cloth and dust furniture. When I'm feeling particularly adventurous they get a disinfecting wipe and get see who can clean the most smears, smudges, grime and gook off doorknobs, handles, light switches and walls!

I try to make it fun as often as I can because I *don't* want them to see it negatively. I NEVER assign them a duty/task as a punishment.

As they get older, they'll be making up their beds, sorting dirty clothes, folding clean clothes, and assisting with meal preparations as well as taking turns cleaning their bathroom, emptying trash, and yes, even doing things like pulling weeds, mowing grass, raking leaves, and shoveling snow.

Growing up, I was responsible to help in and out of the house, top to bottom!

I was sorting dirty clothes, matching socks and then folding clothes, carrying the clean stuff to the appropriate room, helping to prep meals, then to cook them, clean up after them, clean the bathroom, feed the pets, clean up after the pets, help in the yard with weeding, raking, garden maintenance, and eventually mowing the grass, raking leaves and shoveling snow. By the time I was 13, I was doing my own laundry and ironing.

I made my bed each day, and eventually was responsible to change the bedding...

I can change a flat tire, change the fluids in my vehicle, perform basic maintenance on said vehicle, perform most basic maintenance tasks in my home, including using power tools...

I cannot imagine a life NOT knowing how be self-sufficient, and always marveled at my college mates and friends that were on their own that honestly and truly learned by "sink or swim" how to cook, clean, do laundry.

I had one friend who honestly didn't even know how to change a light bulb because her parents did EVERYTHING for her growing up. At first it was because they didn't want her to "grow up too quickly", and then it was because she didn't do it the way they wanted it done and it was easier for them to do it themselves. Finally, it was because she would whine and complain and fight so much they just did it...well, she was finally on her own at the age of 23, with no idea how to boil water to make ramen noodles, and certainly clueless as to how to do a load of laundry. She was 1000 miles away from home so she couldn't just take things to her parents...I remember teaching her, as a 19 year old, how to do everything including paint the rooms in her house...that her parents had purchased for her...

At any rate, my take is that in order to raise up my children with the idea of the grown-ups I'd like them to be in mind, I have to start NOW, when they are 5, 3, and 16 months.

What's your take?

AAAAAAAAAAAnd We're Back!

2011-08-04T17:32:00.003-06:00

Phew! I'm totally not sure what happened to summer...I looked up the other day and realized that it was almost August. And now it IS August.

Captain Chaos starts Kindergarten in only 2 weeks. Princess has til the last Monday of the month before starting preschool again. We went to Captain's first official sporting event last night. it was AWESOME! Seriously. A group of totally unskilled 5 year olds that a coach took charge of for 2 measly hours a week over the last 6 weeks suddenly turned into ball players...I loved it.

I've been spending the last few weeks overhauling my basement storage room. Again. Somehow, some way, it has turned into the dumping ground of our house. All those things that you just don't know what to do with? At my house, they end up in my storage room in the basement...

SO...2 weeks ago, I moved my Mary Kay office from one area of our unfinished basement to another and set up a table in the newly emptied space (after I vacuumed the heck out of the whole place...) and began bringing out boxes, tubs, buckets, shopping bags...all of which were stuffed with junk.

OK, not all of it was junk, but a large portion...in fact, I filled 5 of those giant black plastic trash bags that you normally use for yard waste with pure trash. Not recycle like magazines, unimportant papers or the like. Just trash. Broken toys from kids' meals, broken items from things we haven't had in years...and then I took 19 loads to my City recycling place of cardboard boxes, packing paper, old phone books and other such reference manuals that are out of date. I sent BB to work with 14 bankers' boxes of personal paperwork that we no longer needed to keep so they could be shredded in a secure manner...

I found 7 unopened boxes of girls' clothing and was able to only have to buy Princess a few new things (other than socks and undies) for the upcoming year. That girl grew through 2 sizes this summer. At the end of May 2010, she was barely wearing 3T. Just today she tried on some size 6 items from the girls' department. It's bittersweet. I know she's thriving and healthy, but it makes me sad that I can't find those adorable little girl items...everything I've seen is covered with sequins, images of pop stars, or so short I wouldn't let Littlest One wear them for fear her diapers would be uncovered...so these boxes were truly a Godsend!!! Kilts, skorts, jumpers, jeans, turtlenecks, sweaters, jackets, hats, leggings...and all of them in miraculously amazing shape...she's got a large selection of things. So many, in fact that I think I can take back about 90% of what I purchased today thinking she needed things!!!!!

I also found 4 giant rubbermaid tubs of sizes for Littlest One to grow into, and will therefore only likely have to purchase new socks for that one. Hooray!!!!!

Captain, on the other hand, needs a whole new wardrobe...but the blessing is that he's attending a Charter Academy which requires a uniform. SO, he is now the somewhat unhappy owner of 6 pairs of Dockers style trousers, and 8 Izod and Cherokee brand polo shirts. Grandma is sending him 4 more that are long sleeved for winter so he doesn't always have to wear a sweater or sweatshirt.

I need a belt and another pair of jeans for him (I just picked up some short sleeved Tees for weekends today) and he's totally set! Last year's jacket still fits, so I suppose he'll need some snow boots, but that's really it!

Now if only I could shed this extra weight, I'd not need anything either! I am frustrated that I will have to pick up a new dress for a wedding we're attending next weekend in a size that will actually fit me, not be snug, pulling and uncomfortable. I have one in my closet that is currently 2 sizes to large with no way to make it fit - it's a pretend wrap dress made of this awful polyester...I'm not sure what drug I was smoking when I bought it...

Anyway...

I'm off to finish sorting the clothes that no longer fit my children for the 3 amazing people who are taking them off my hands. YAY ME! No consigning, no donating, no fighting with people at a garage sale who think a quarter is too much to pay for a $25 outfit.

Toodles...

PS - have you been bringing pretty back since my last post???? I admit there have been a few days I haven't styled my hair or put on make up but for the most part, I'm a regular glam queen!

Mulling It Over

2011-07-28T12:47:00.002-06:00

After much thought pondering the words my friend posted on her blog, I've come to the following conclusions (bear with me, I'm going to ramble a bit):

Men and women are NOT the same at all. We are different physically, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically.
As such, there are things that men can do that women cannot and vice versa
With this fact, I understand why it was such a fight to be treated equally. If I am softer, rounder, smaller, than my husband/father/brothers it stands to reason that I simply "could not" do things.
I am emotionally wired to be a caregiver. No matter what else I do, where I've worked, learned etc, I am always going to look for ways to care fo those around me.
As the mother of my children, I will, therefore, be the one who is more aware of certain things than my husband, or even other parents

Those things said, I don't think that being different means being less than. Just because I cannot physically do some things does not mean that I should not be allowed to attempt them. Simply because a woman chooses NOT to pursue motherhood should not relegate her to a status of dependent, or 'poor relation'. just because a man does not marry, or pursue parenthood, does not mean he is somehow superior, special, or "free".

I know I'm not making sense, but it really bothers me that somewhere along the way, we as women decided that in order to be "equal", we had to sacrifice that which made us different in the first place.

I've been checking out a new blog, over at Bring Pretty Back and have to say that I'm completely on board with her. Without ruining it for you, her basic premises are that there's nothing wrong with being feminine and investing time in our outward appearance. It's somewhat akin to Mrs. Ordinary's Hot Mama Revolution.

I think that there is a reason that most of the ladies I know desire things to be neat, tidy, clean, pretty, attractive...that we're attracted to things that are shiny, sparkly, shimmery, and smell good...and that it is totally ok to pursue and create those things in our world. There's a reason we want furniture that was built to be together in a room, pillows that are soft on a couch that is pleasing to our eye, books, plants, collectibles, family heirlooms, towels, towel bars, candles, flowers, plants, something other than off-white paint on our walls, and cute shoes in our closets.

And I think it's high time we embrace exactly what it is that makes us different from our husbands who seem to want physical combat, battles, strategies and things that go faster, make louder noises, and exude power...

SO, take some time and invest in yourself - get your hair done, find a new color of lip gloss or lipstick (or just a shade to begin with) and put that outward polish on each day this week. Make the effort each day between now and August 4th to do something special each day.

My goal is to make sure that I actually style my hair, not just blow it dry to keep it out of my eyes, every day this next week.

And I'm pulling out that pair of heels that makes my legs look awesome and I'm wearing them, along with something soft and feminine to Church this weekend. I don't care if it's supposed to be over 97 this weekend, I'm wearing a dress or skirt with hose and those shoes...and accessories.

Will you join me in Bringing Pretty Back?

Food for Thought

2011-07-27T11:31:00.002-06:00

A bloggy friend just posted about a trip her family took recently, and how she's been feeling...

On the trip, things were good - they were feeling connected, rested, enjoyed time with extended family, and experiencing the local sights and food...and came home resolved to slow down and enjoy life and family more.

She also mentioned feeling this sort of distance between who she is now (mother, stepmother, wife) and who she dreams of being (writer, teacher, mom...) and was wondering how to get back to who she dreams of being...

It made me question - Why do we as women have to choose between who we dream of being and who we are in the now?

Why is it that men can be father/son/husband/brother/friend and professional, but we as women must choose?

It just seems to me that you can either be the wife and mom, OR you can be the successful whatever...

Is it truly because that's how we're designed? We're designed to be the helpmeet, and NOT the breadwinner so we can be either one or the other but never both?

I just wonder if the men in our lives feel as though they are missing out on something because they go off to a job every day instead of staying at home to wash clothes, dust furniture, read stories, schlepp children hither and yon and cook meals?

It makes me wonder if our "men and women are equal" thinking is causing some of this distress in our lives...don't get me wrong...I'm all for people making the same amount of money for doing the same level of job - if you're a doctor, you should all make the same amount of money regardless of your sex or race (etc etc), and if you've been on the line at the factory the longest, you should make the most regardless...

HOWEVER...it just makes me wonder...just because we can do the same things as men, should we?

The Light Came On

2011-07-24T18:57:00.001-06:00

No, this is not an ode to Shel Silverstein (although I do adore his nonsensical works).

I finally realized, after this weekend, why exactly, my folks did NOT sign us up for every single event and activity during summer vacation.

I, foolishly, thought it was simply because A) my parents didn't love me enough to give me what I wanted, and B) we were poor.

I now understand that it is because it is a heap of work to get kids up, sunscreened, bug-sprayed, weather-geared up, and loaded into a vehicle along with all the accessories such as diapers, wipes, sunscreen, bug spray, first aid kit (purse size), snacks, drinks, toys, hats, sunglasses, and whatever other items I might need for things like balls, bats, gloves, swimsuits, leotards, tights, ballet shoes, combs, brushes, chickens, pigs, and dogs...(just making sure you're reading!!!)

My mother was a wise, wise woman - she knew that simply being allowed to shove us out the back door in the morning to play in our $10 plastic wading pool, run through sprinklers, play super heroes with our swim towels fastened around our necks with the clothespins from our clothesline, imagine, create, dream, dig in our awesome sandbox (man I wish I could move that bugger to my house now!), ride our bikes up and down our streets, take our basketball or tennis racquets and balls across to the public courts and play, or ride our bikes around the corner to the elementary school playground, or, yes, even the 2 miles to the 7Eleven with our allowance to purchase Slurpees and Laffy Taffy or those awesome giant Jolly Rancher candy sticks, meant that she was able to achieve things inside the house such as sewing projects, tidying, reading, knitting, embroidering, ironing, laundry, cooking, etc. It also meant we were WORN THE FREAK OUT when we came in at lunchtime. It meant that when she said "its too hot after lunch, so you may either go to the basement to play, or you may sit quietly on the couch to read a book that you chose from the library." we listened to her. We would obediently troop to the basement, where we'd build with Legos, set up GI Joe forts, Barbie worlds, or color in coloring books, or play Cops and Robbers.

We didn't have cable until right before MTV made its debut (I actually go to watch "Video Killed the Radio Star" because I was sick that day!!!!)...so we only had the "big three" networks, PBS, and the local station. And if you remember correctly, back in the day, you maybe got to watch some early morning cartoons, but by 9am, it was talk shows, old movies, soap operas, uber educational shows like "Sewing with Nancy", Julia Child, and the like, or news. So, if you were lucky enough to actually be awake and downstairs before my mother (good luck with THAT!), you could sneak in watching an episode of Blinky the Clown or Electric Company. But if you didn't you were Out. Of. Luck. No television except for the news during week days.

We'd take weekly treks to the public library (a feat I have not yet perfected with my 3 hooligans - mostly because you can't just let your kids go into the Children's Library and leave them anymore, people actually call the cops, but that's a post for another day), and Mom would send us off to the Children's Library, where we'd browse our age-appropriate sections, listen to the story lady read, and then rush to claim one of the old claw-foot tubs that had been padded with foam and covered with faux fur (when I think of the nasty germs now I shudder and feel the urge to shower!), or one of the cool giant plastic cubes that had the same foam and fur inside so you could curl up with a book and read while you waited for your parents to finish their browsing and come collect you...I love the smell of ink and books, and that musty library smell that lingers, no matter what they do.

We'd occasionally get to go to the kiddie pools with our friends because we could ride our bikes and/or had enough allowance. When we got older, I remember being friends with a girl in my Brownie troop whose folks were members of our local Country Club and being invited for a sleepover and getting to swim at the pool where the waiters would actually bring you a menu and then your food. I also remember the rare occasions we got to go with a friend to the local outdoor public pool and how we'd live for those days...

We didn't do tee ball, or summer baseball, or tennis camp, or dance camp, or horseback riding camp, or ice skating camp or underwater basketweaving camp.

We did VBS at our Church, not every single Church that offered it, as some of my friends do. If we were lucky, we'd get to do Church Camp, but that wasn't til Junior High.

Needless to say...when Princess wanted to continue her dance class through the 6-week summer session, I was pleased to say yes. Every Tuesday morning we went.

Then Tee-Ball started. And every Monday and Wednesday morning we went.

It didn't matter that both events were within a 10-minute drive (I actually rode the bike with the kids in the trailer and the baby in the bike seat to Tee-Ball because it's less than a half mile from our house), it still eats up the ENTIRE MORNING. And then the kids are wound up, overstimulated and don't want to do anything...

OY!

We're rethinking next summer break already. At least I am. BB doesn't quite get it. And granted, next summer I may not have any that take morning naps.

I do know that I'll make sure that the things we do are either on the same mornings, OR that they do the same things - like swimming lessons, where I can put Littlest One in the child care center, and go workout while the big kids swim!

Well, my laundry is calling my name, my children are "grounded" from technological devices, so I'm "forcing" them to be imaginative and play in their playroom with toys.

Captain actually told me this morning that he couldn't play with his trains because "they're all the way in the basement!"

If I'd had a camera to capture the utter disbelief on his little face and the look of utter horror in his eyes at 24 full hours without TV, radio, Wii, or iPod I'd have included it. But you shall have to imagine his giant blue eyes wide, the thick black lashes practically standing at attention, rosy cheeks even redder than usual in his indignation, mouth gaping, and shoulders drooping.

And for the record? It's not as though we have our TV or radio on all the time. And he only gets to play Wii or on the iPod for 10 minutes at a time once a week or so...

PS - if you have any fun new ways to build blanket forts, pass them along will you? I've got a couch, an upright piano, an oak dining table and 6 chairs (2 with arms) and multiple king-sized sheets, blankets and pillows at my disposal.

What Happened to Summer???

2011-07-20T10:41:00.002-06:00

OK, I am not one to complain about the weather. Generally speaking. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE the seasons. Each one brings something new and exciting, and in general, in Colorado, they last just long enough to keep me from getting bored or tired of what they have to offer.

The winter always offers the beauty of snow, the fresh world, the stark contrast of bare branches and the evergreens against the sparkling snow.

Fall offers crisp mornings, with that smoky smell (even though no one around here burns leaves), and the riotous colors of the leaves, the crunch as they begin to fall.

Spring offers up sparkling frost on the ground, the grayish green haze as the trees begin to bud and blossom and leaf...

And summer. Oh summer...the long days of sunshine, heat, buzzing bumblebees. And, in Colorado, it often means late afternoon storms. The clouds pile up, roll in, darkening the sky, and the thunder rumbles, the lightning flashes. And, when we're really blessed, it will actually rain. It will pour buckets, or pelt like mad for about 35 to 45 minutes. And then, the clouds will part, the sun will shine, the sky is clear and intensely blue. Everything glistens and gleams. And the air is cooled greatly.

This year, however, it seemed as though winter lingered, well past March 21. It was cold, wet, raining almost every day. It was Spring long into June, which is a bit off from what I remember growing up here. It seemed as though overnight, it went from wet, rainy spring days barely reaching 60 degrees, to this oven-like heat, baking us with temperatures in the 90s.

We've had a good monsoon season, as in, I have mushrooms growing in my lawn because it has been so wet...

All in all, I'm loving it. It's hot enough to drive me indoors after lunch most days (the mornings are spent with a run, some time in my yard pulling weeds, deadheading my flowers and the like, then breakfast and whatever scheduled events we have (t ball, dance, errands). Between that and lunchtime, we're outside usually in the back, kicking or throwing a ball, running around, making lots of noise (much to our neighbors' chagrin), splashing, swimming, squealing. Having a grand old time...

But, all of a sudden, I realized that school starts in just 4 weeks! Yup, 4 weeks from Friday, will be Captain Chaos' first day of Kindergarten. He technically starts a few days later than the rest of the grades at his school, and I'm ok with that. Princess starts the following week, and I'll be down to just 2 children at a time every afternoon, both of which will be napping. 2 mornings a week, I'll have Littlest One and Captain at home, and Littlest One will be napping (Lord willing).

I realized that in just one year from now I'll be getting ready to have just the girls at home during most days, and 3 days a week I'll only have Littlest One at home. In 2 short years, I'll be home alone, with no children, for a few days each week. GULP! In fact, one morning a week the school year of 2013, I'll be alone. Totally alone. No children for 3 hours.

It's a daunting, and not at all helped by the fact that summer vacation is almost over...

Well, I'm off to take the kiddos out for "special lunch" at the local Chik-fil-A so they can enjoy some chicken nuggets and time in the playground. I'm having the realization that High School graduation really will be here before I know it, and I fully intend to build as many memories of awesomeness as possible.

I'm taking some time this afternoon while they nap to plan out some trips to the zoo, the museum, the bounce place, the library, and putting much time on my calendar for "having fun" as possible.

If it means I'm up at 5 and not in bed til midnight, so I can do the other things like cleaning and laundry, then so be it.

They really are only this age once.

What fun memories do you have of growing up???

Ducking My Head

2011-07-14T20:45:00.002-06:00

I have a confession to make...just between you and me - I have a HORRIBLE temper. I am also one of those people that pick and push and pick and poke and prod until I find that final straw and slam it down on the camel's back... I pick fights. For no other reason than just wanting to irritate and aggravate people.

How horrible is that????? I mean, really...I have my days where I'd much rather just be left alone to sit and do whatever the heck I want - read, surf the internet, play Angry Birds, watch DVR'd episodes of whatever show has currently struck my fancy. I'm perfectly content to be a Stepford Wife (ok, not really, but that's how it feels some days...) and toodle along quietly and happily, washing clothes, dusting furniture, changing diapers, cooking meals - you know the routine...

And then, some days, I'm just itching to have it out with someone, anyone, whoever the heck happens to cross paths with me.

And watch out when it happens, because I am a vicious, nasty, evil, horrible, mean, vindictive, spiteful, ugly person when I cut loose.

Satan surely works his evil through me, in me on those days, because I have been known to let fly with snarky remarks about total strangers that are eerily accurate - personal things that there is NO WAY I should ever know them...let alone repeat them in public settings.

My latest? Was BB. On our camping trip. I was so nasty that our argument made my kids cry.

Yup, that's right. I was such a nasty person that I made my children cry.

Granted, BB also has a short fuse, but you'd think if I knew this, I'd try hard NOT to provoke him right????

Most of the time I can happily answer that I do not deliberately provoke my husband's temper.

But last Friday morning I did. And boy howdy was it ever ugly.

It opened up a lot of things that had been bubbling below the surface that did indeed need airing. Just not in that setting or that manner.

That said, once aired, we both felt a whole lot better and have been much more content and at peace with each other.

I don't know if you and your sweetie ever have those issues that you think "Oh, it's not such a big deal." that suddenly, somehow, become these looming, swirling pits of emotional and relational doom...or how you handle them...but I'm hear to tell you to be careful what you focus upon in your relationships.

Dear Elected Officials

2011-07-12T14:52:00.002-06:00

I am writing this here on my blog first, because there are a million thoughts and lots of anger and frustration swirling through my head right now. If I ever work out the kinks, you'd better bet EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU will get a copy of this letter.

I am ashamed of how you are acting. Every single person that has been elected to the Federal Level, and a vast majority of State Level elected officials are acting as though they are in Kindergarten and have to share their favorite toy.

I am furious that you are sitting there, in the Nation's Capitol, FIGHTING over whether or not America should dig Herself deeper into debt. You are gambling my future, the future of my parents, my children, my friends, my neighbors, total strangers and generations yet to come because you cannot act as an adult and make sacrifices.

Let me explain something to you - YOU CANNOT MAKE EVERY SINGLE CITIZEN HAPPY. It just doesn't work that way.

We are not a nation that needs babysitting. We do not need to be told that eating fried foods, lots of salt, drinking caffeine or alcohol, indulging in drugs, or smoking are bad for us. We ALL KNOW. What we NEED is to have you act responsibly and in the best interest of those who actually voted. NOT YOUR PARTY. Your Constituents. That's right - it doesn't matter if you wear Red, Blue, a donkey, an elephant, or sport a tea bag in your little brain. I don't care what party you chose back in your foray into politics.

I do not care how much money your family has, how far back you can trace your family tree, and how many politicians and/or lawyers came in the generations before you. None of that matters, except to make you work harder to prove your worth to the American public.

Please grow up. Realize that being an elected official is a huge honor, an enormous responsibility. Not a right or privilege because of your last name, race, gender, or connections.

Now that you are aware of what you are doing wrong, allow me to tell you what you should do to rectify this situation IMMEDIATELY.

Starting at once - every single one of you should forgo your salary. I elected you to represent me. NOT GET PAID A FREAKING FAT PAYCHECK TO SIT ON YOUR BUTT AND FILIBUSTER ALL DAY LONG.

Once you have forgone your salary, give up your protective details. Then, find your pet project, fund, group, cause, whatever and CUT SPENDING TOWARD IT BY HALF. Stop making ridiculous rules about school lunches and whether or not a child is allowed to pray at a school function. Stop making and repealing rules about taxes. If you own a business, that business should pay taxes on the amount of money they make. the end. It doesn't matter what that business does, how many employees there are, or who owns it. If you own it - it pays taxes. If you are an American Citizen, and are employed, you pay taxes. Do not worry about how much each of us makes. If you simply tax each citizen a set percentage of their income, and no longer allow people to write off things, EVERY SINGLE CITIZEN would be paying money into the system. I personally believe that the Federal and State Income taxes were never designed to be permanent. Therefore, find a new way for the government to be funded. Stop taking money from me forcibly, and I'm more likely to give generously to you when you ask politely.

STOP SPENDING WHAT WE DON'T HAVE. In case you are shielded from International News, there are Countries and Nations all over the world that are shutting down government and having riots, upheaval, chaos - why? BECAUSE THEY SPENT MORE MONEY THAN THEY MADE.

If a business asked to raise their debt ceiling, their creditors and banks everywhere would laugh them out of the building, and they'd be declined. If you cannot pay your debt, you don't get to borrow more.

If the United States of America is out of money, then we need to look at it from a viewpoint of "How can we IMMEDIATELY rectify the situation?" The answer is simple - if we don't have the cash, we don't spend the money. I realize that in the spirit of good relations, we will never collect on the monetary debts that other Nations owe us from the past. There was a time when we loaned money to other Countries to assist them. That was awesome. However, now that we have no money, along with everyone but China, are you not concerned that soon, we'll be in trouble too?

Without the Federal Government starting the change it will never happen.

I choose to live debt free. I choose to live WITHIN MY MEANS. I no longer spend in the hopes that tomorrow, I'll have money to pay it back.

Do not raise the debt ceiling, I implore you. The worst possible thing we can do is to go further into the red.

We cannot declare Federal bankruptcy, but perhaps, just perhaps, you can pull your heads out of the sand, and realize that America can no longer provide things on the level we have in the past. It sucks. But it is business to cut costs in order to pay back debt. If you raise taxes, the American people will stop spending money, which will stop creating tax revenue, which will create a larger shortfall, which will cause us to fall deeper into debt.

I am not an economist, a politician, a lawyer, a journalist, a celebrity. I am, however, a wife, mother, daughter, sister, cousin, granddaughter, niece, friend, and businesswoman with a good eye for common sense solutions to problems.

Here is our problem (just in case your forgot) - America owes more money than She earns.

Here is our solution - STOP SPENDING MONEY WE DON'T HAVE. Take the money we do have and budget it to allow us to get out of debt as fast as possible.

You cannot, and will never in a million years be able to spend enough money to make the money that we need to pay off our debts.

PS - Mr President - I am horrendously disappointed in your Administration. Quite frankly, if I were to publish my thoughts in any forum other my internal dialogue, I'd most likely be arrested for treason.

PPS - If we cut off the illegals from any government services, I'd bet we'd save a heap. Oh, and if you stop to think about the fact that there are children in this country who do live here legally that go to bed in shelters, without food, clean clothing, schooling...maybe we'd stop worrying so much about the rest of world for awhile and fix our own mess - it's hard to be respected for the good works you do for others when you are blind and ignoring of the issues in your own house.

PPPS - I will be sending an actual correspondence of some sort to every elected official from the State of Colorado on this measure, and one to you. Be aware.

*******************************************************************

Dear readers -

Thanks for letting me vent. I, quite frankly, don't care about your own political viewpoints. I know we each come from different places, have different values, different ideas of what "perfect" would look like in the world.

I do, however, hope we can all agree, that right now, America is a mess, and the ONLY way to fix that mess is for those who represent "we, the People" to remember just what that means, and that their best interests are not what matter at this time.

Please keep coming back to read me. I'm not normally this vociferous, but today, I just had to unload. Its been a long time coming...

Time Flies and Other Catchy Cliches

2011-07-11T11:20:00.002-06:00

Holy freaking cow...I woke up this morning and realized that we are almost halfway through the month of July. HALF WAY people!!!!!

That means that my special little guy, my Captain Chaos will be starting Kindergarten in just another 5 weeks. Yup, you read that correctly. His first day of Kindergarten will be August 19th.

When BB went to the store LAST WEEKEND (as in before July 4th) there were ALREADY school supplies set up...

I normally LOVE school shopping and have secretly been looking forward to it since finding out we were pregnant with Capt...I know, I'm a freak. Deal with it!

Anyway...I looked at the calendar, thought to myself, "Oh! School supplies. That's early. I'll wait a bit and then go in a few weeks."

BB had to run into our Super Target this morning for something for work and called me to tell me that they are already running low on supplies and they aren't sure Corporate will send them more!!!!

At any rate, I'm off to make hay while the sun shines, make sure I'm the early bird getting the worm, and that while I won't be putting my cart before my horse, I will indeed be making sure I have a bird in my hand, therefore, making it worth 2 in the bush.

Because I'm just like that.

Feel free to throw your own cliche into the mix... :D Or tell me I'm a dork for being sad that I don't get to buy notebooks and protractors and compasses along with the crayons, markers, pencils, and glue sticks. OH yeah...and I need to go to an office supply store to get label tape for our label maker. Yes, I have one. And it ROCKS...I even have things like my storage containers in my pantry labeled. Placed on shelves that are labeled. Next up? After school supplies, I'll be labeling the toy buckets and shelves, and my Mary Kay office (don't ask why I'm celebrating 13 years with the company and am only now getting around to labeling my things permanently. Maybe I'm afraid of commitment.)

PS - camping was mostly awesome. More on that AFTER my work is done. No more creative avoidance for me.

In Order of No Particular Importance

2011-07-05T06:57:00.002-06:00

My apologies for the following rambling post - it lets you get inside what my brain is like most of the time...I understand if you never want to come back after reading.

Sometimes, I get really tired of feeling like I'm a single mom to 4 kids, instead of a married woman with 3. BB just sort of goes into this mode of "take care of me, I can't do anything for myself" and it makes me angry. I mean, I understand if you are sick, or injured. That's fine - I don't expect you to pitch in when you can't stand up without pitching over! However, if you're just cranky from the heat or needing something to eat, and you're physically capable of expressing said conditions with the English language to me, then you'd better darn well speak up and say it instead of having a temper tantrum and yelling at me for "asking a stupid question." I'm trying really hard to keep my temper in check these days, to choose my words wisely for their meaning, their grace, and to keep my children from sounding like they grew up in a kitchen or around a group of swearing sailors. But when someone is working physically hard alongside someone else (both of whom are adults) in the heat and humidity, and a message doesn't get conveyed about something crucial, DO NOT EXPECT ME TO READ YOUR FREAKING MIND! Ok, I feel a bit better about that. Hopefully, as we venture out on our camping trip this week, we'll have better and more frequent communication and less blow ups. Rest assured, I am in no danger, nor threatened with bodily harm. Just tired of getting yelled at for things over which I have absolutely no control.

I often wonder why things just sort of stack up on my counters and tables. I discovered the answer this week when I used the car to run some errands without the kids. I had a sitter because the kids were napping but I had to get some things taken care of so I jumped into our 2nd vehicle (BB had the motorcycle) and found it heaped high with wrappers, empty soda cans, winter hats and gloves, ice scrapers, empty sippy cups (at least now I know where the heck they all are!), receipts, spiral notebooks etc. I was not thrilled, as early on in our relationship, BB gave me a hard time about how I kept my car "so dirty" when he got in and found an empty Fivebucks cup in the cup holder from my drive to work that morning, and I moved my purse out of the passenger seat onto the floorboard of the back. Keep in mind that at the time, we were both working full time outside of the house, had no children, and I'd bought and paid for that car myself - the only thing I can honestly say that about! I was taken aback and set out to try really hard to not leave trash and things in the vehicles. I still, to this day, routinely take 5 - 10 minutes after each outing (after getting the kids settled for naps mostly) to gather up napkins, tissues, straw wrappers, drink cups, food pieces, hair accessories, toy cars and the like. I faithfully gather any receipt that didn't get deposited in my wallet for some reason, and even try to vacuum the upholstery and carpets once a week. I admit I don't always get it done, but I try. I put loose coins in the coin holder and put them into our giant "dream vacation" jug (a 20-gallon glass water bottle that's about 3-gallons full right now). I'm not perfect. I try really hard to model "put it where it belongs when you're done using it" for the kids. I try to make sure that if I'm done with something - whether for the moment or the long haul, that I put it where it goes. We do keep our cups/glasses throughout most of the day simply because I don't have enough to get a clean one out every time someone wants a drink of water, and I often leave things in a designated spot for BB to look at. I do NOT, however, condone, nor contribute to the detritus on my half-wall countertop. We have an "open floor plan" and the wall behind my kitchen sink is a half wall which creates a counter that is about 4 feet high and 12 inches wide. It runs about 8 feet or so, and I keep a perpetual calendar of Scripture, my African Violet and my sunglasses up there. However, as I sit here right now, I'm staring at a collection of empty yogurt tubs filled with random tools from BB's shop that have either been purchased and/or used in the last 10 days but are still sitting there. As I got yelled at for putting things in the wrong place last time I took things out there, I simply put them all in a box in my utility room when I get tired of them being on my counter, and once a week or so, I put the box on one of his workbenches with a note that says something like "I brought these out so you can have more time to get things the way you like out here." SO...there's these tools, some work gloves, a packing tape dispenser, BB's tray for his keys and change is heaped high with all sorts of things, we have 6, count 'em 6 empty cups from various kids' meals, and a hair brush for the cats. The table beside BB's chair, on which rests a gorgeous basket and a lamp, are also, books, legos, cars, doll clothes, magazines, and I think I even see a couple empty plates...BB's side table has empty cups, cords, used tissues, and a half-empty sleeve of saltine crackers...when I asked the kids why they didn't put away their toys yesterday, they flat out said "Daddy doesn't put his things away, so we don't have to either." Needless to say that did not go over well. At all. After a serious talk with the kids, I had one with BB...he's now cranky at me. Oh, and then he had the nerve to ask me when I was going to get a project involving lots of moving boxes, tables, sweeping, dumping, sorting, purging and organizing done, but didn't offer to help and when I asked if he'd be available to help he said no, he had better things to do.

I often wonder when the line is crossed between "compliment" and "creepy". Over the last year, I've been working really hard to lose weight, and I've lost quite a bit. Not as much, nor as quickly as I'd like to, but quite a bit nonetheless. I've posted on FB, left comments for my fellow journeyers...the usual things I like to do. One person, who is a mutual friend of one my journeyers and also a neighbor approached me at our HOA picnic and said "WOW! You look great. I knew you were working hard but hadn't seen any updated pictures on your Facebook page. The hair cut...there's just so much less of you!" I was flattered, as I know the compliment was sincere. Upon reflection, it was just sort of weird as the conversation kept going for several minutes until someone else at the picnic needed my attention. I just sort of wondered if there was something creepy there, or just the compliment. I have no reason nor enough vanity to assume that he was attracted to me, or that things were bad with his family. But sometimes, you just sort of get that little niggling voice in your head that won't let it go...I'm holding to the thought that he was sincere, and heartfelt in recognizing the hard work and the results.

Do you ever wonder why there are times when you KNOW you have a long list of things that really do have a deadline??? I know, as an at-home mom, no one is going to come along and give me an "F" on a report card if I don't actually get something done on a particular day. But when you're preparing for company, or a vacation, or to clean carpets, install something, have something delivered...and there are preparatory steps to be taken before the actual act can occur - it must get done. Sometimes, with me, that list brings out my inner brat and I promptly plop down in BB's chair and play a game on the computer, blog, read blogs, poke around FB, or sit and watch mindless TV shows. I know, it's ok and necessary to take breaks from working, whether it be mental or physical, to allow you to refocus, refresh...but it is NOT refreshing yourself when you glance at said list (or think it over) and metaphorically (sometimes physically) run away screaming from the tasks at hand.

Confession - I am a lazy person. I do NOT like housework. I do NOT like yard work. I do NOT like to cook, clean, do laundry, iron, scrub toilets, wash floors. I would much rather sit around and read books, do puzzles, color pictures, anything but actually work. Growing up, it drove me bonkers that my mother couldn't sit still and just enjoy being still. She had to be constantly in motion...and she had her routine of what task got done on what day. She still does. Her house is always immaculate, she is always impeccably put together (even for digging in the gardens), and she always has something wonderful to feed you no matter the time or day of your visit. I, on the other hand, always seem to be scrambling to find the time to do all the things that need doing. I've always got something that got left undone. Often, I just sort of freeze when I realize that I am the grown-up. I am the grown-up. I'm not sure I'm qualified to be a housewife, let alone mother to 3 children...who put me in charge and when are they coming back?!?!?!?!?!? SO, I struggle to keep myself accountable at times. After all, my parents aren't reminding and nagging me to get things done. However, since they're not here, if I want it done, I'm the one who has to do it.

I'd rather sit and do nothing, so I spend the time I'm doing something thinking about how I can be more efficient, how I can save time, energy, but get the most done. I blame it on my waitressing days and the managers who used to squawk out "Work smarter, not harder!" like sick parrots...you know, the idea of "don't be empty-handed on your shift" sort of thing.

Well, now that I've frittered away 90 minutes, I guess it's time to get my rear in gear, get showered and dressed and start the final preparations for our camping trip.

OH YEAH...I almost forgot. We're heading out to a State Park, to camp for 5 days in our trailer, on a ridge overlooking a lake. The area we're camping in is only a few miles from the edge of a rather nasty wildfire that actually closed down the Interstate Highway. It is supposed to be in the mid 80s. Hopefully it will be cool and we can find the recreational beach, otherwise, we'll be spending time at the municipal pool and not a lot at the camp ground.

Toodles - I'll be back on the 10th.

The Fourth of July Edition

2011-07-04T07:10:00.003-06:00

I have fond memories of the 4th of July growing up...we lived only a mile or so from the site our City launched the Fireworks so we'd have a picnic in our backyard - iced-down watermelon, homemade pickles, corn on the cob, either burgers and dogs, or, if Mom got a great deal - steaks (we were a family of 7 remember!), we'd even get to have soda...

As kids, we'd get up, have breakfast, take care of the garden quickly, and head up to Main Street to watch the parade. Floats, marching bands, the hope that one of the Horse groups would be there - my favorite was always the one dressed like they were in the Old West - dusters, boots, spurs, chaps, cowboy hats, bandanas, shiny 6-shooters on their hips, rifles in their cool saddle holsters...and the best part? They'd actually fire off those weapons into the air as the Indians would come galloping behind on their paints and Mustangs (the horses not the car!), all in authentic war dress, faces painted, feathers and beads, moccasins...whooping and yelling...Or the Rodeo Queen and her court from the previous year - riding in her brightly colored satin Western-style shirt, white fringed, and her beautiful white jeans, shiny boots, sparkly sash...and her totally bedazzled hat in place of a tiara...and Veterans that would march in the parade to present the Colors...in their full-dress uniforms, or their appropriate garb, pressed, starched, crisp, so proud to have served this fine nation...

After the parade, we'd head to the park to pick up whichever one of us kids was marching in the band, get extra popsicles, and head home.

If we were having a lunch picnic, we'd set the old redwood table in the backyard, on the concrete patio, under the shade of the cottonwood tree...after lunch, Mom would let us put on our bathing suits and run through the sprinklers, play in our little plastic pool, eat watermelon til we almost popped...and then the waiting would begin. We'd be sent inside to clean up and have our requisite "heat of the day quiet time" and we'd read books, work on little things around the house, or, if we were having a dinner picnic, work on getting the water boiling for the corn cobs, making potato salad, whatever last minute things we needed to do. And then...we'd wait, and wait and wait and wait for what seemed like forever...

And around dusk, we'd all get hosed down with bug spray (until we were old enough to say we'd do it ourselves and then we'd not put any on and spend the evening swatting and swishing at mosquitos rather than be sticky and stinky!), and troop outside.

In the early years, when our trees were small, we'd just spend the entire evening in the backyard, put up those awesome lawn chairs (the ones with the nylon webbing) or the even more awesome loungers that were the plastic tubes all woven on the metal frame that you could fold into this nifty triangle to play space ship...or we'd spread a blanket in the grass and lay on our backs...and then, we'd wait for it to get "dark enough"...and we'd watch the awesome fireworks display and listen for the echoing thumps of the cannons...in later years, as the trees grew and blocked our view, we'd sit in the side yard (I loved living on the corner lot) and watch from there.

I remember one summer the neighbors splurged on sparklers and legal firecrackers...it was awesome.

My best memory? Is that I was 16 the first time I went to Disney and got blown away by "real" fireworks displays...

Happy 4th of July - be safe and have a wonderful memory-making day!!!

It's Not Easy Being Green

2011-06-30T15:23:00.003-06:00

First - thank you for the compliments on my new 'do! I only wish I had the ability and tools to make it look today as it did walking out of the salon yesterday...sigh...And Penny - thank you, I'm not sure what I did, but somehow I deleted your compliment instead of publishing it!

Second - right now, I'm sitting here trying to motivate myself. BB's company has a quarterly event thing that they do which generally involves a half day of fun, food and something fabulous.

In years past, they've gone to our local amusement park (think King's Island, Worlds of Fun, 6 Flags type places), a day at our aquarium, barbecues, picnics, hikes, movies, Dave & Busters and the like. This time around, they got tickets to the Rockies game. They're playing the Chicago White Sox, and sorry for any Sox fans out there, I hope we trounce them and take the series...but, I digress.

BB came home TUESDAY night and said "Get a sitter for Thursday so you can go with me!" I called every single person that we know that is able to sit. Every single one of them was booked, or out of town or something like that...so I resorted to my last line of defense - I called my mother.

She said she had nothing planned, and I started to get all excited, and then she said "but, I'm just not feeling like watching the girls while you take Captain to a baseball game. I just don't think I want to have to be there for such a long time."

Granted, we'd have had to leave our house at about 11 to insure time to make the hour drive to the ballfield, park, get to our seats, and then the 3 hours at the game, and the time to get back to our car, and the hour or so drive home - would have been about 6 hours all told, and BB was lucky to get that third ticket in the first place as each employee was only given a pair...

But still...it was sort of stinky news that he'd get to go and take Captain, and I'd have to stay here with the girls...

And so, here we are, at the top of the 7th Inning, and I have done NOTHING that I originally and rather unrealistically thought and planned to get done.

In fact, the first load of laundry is STILL in the dryer (it's still wet - comforter) and the family room floor is thrashed and trashed with toys, the kitchen is still not entirely clean...

But you know what? He gets to have an afternoon of leisure with our son, sitting at the ball field, watching the game, so I'm taking some time to do something leisurely for myself...

So there. (and yes, I am mentally sticking my tongue out as I type this)

Drumroll Please....

2011-06-29T13:29:00.003-06:00

And now, courtesy of my very amazing, talented good friend Nikki at Nikki's Hair Studio...

Ta-Da!!!!!!

Sorry it was a lousy photo - my kids are no good with my camera and well...apparently, neither am I when it comes to self-photography. Sigh...

If I Had a Hammer

2011-06-23T15:02:00.003-06:00

I'm not sure what that title has to do with anything whatsoever...but I'm just at a creative loss these days.

I think I just need something to let totally loose on with my physical pent up energy. I'm going crazy sitting around the house this summer, and summer really just started yesterday...makes for tough life these days...

At any rate, I had this long rant of a post this morning really early, and deleted it. It was just not something I needed to let linger.

I have a dilemma - one I face every so often...I go through these phases with my hair. Yup...hair.

I cut it short, in some cute, trendy, high-maintenance cut, and then get tired of it, so I start to grow it out. Currently, it's a bit past my shoulder. Not too long, but long enough that I can just let it dry and throw it into some sort of clip, or ponytail, or use a headband to keep it out of my face. I like the versatility. BUT, it's horribly damaged because I'm too...something...to go in for regular cuts. I think I feel guilty leaving the kids with BB for 90 minutes so I can go to my stylist and get a cut and style. How stupid does that sound now that I've typed it here???? Sheesh...after I give a bloggy friend all sorts of crap for not taking care of herself, and I won't even schedule a hair cut for myself! Gah...

Well, now that it's settled that I'll be scheduling an appointment, here's a photo of me as I currently am - long, frizzy hair and all...and this is where you come in - here's a photo of a past short cut. I'm thinking of the length, but maybe something more angular, or more up to current trends...please weigh in!

**********************************************************************************

Thanks for the input so far!

Funny that I was thinking that inverted bob was really cute and was wondering if I could pull it off...hmmmmmmm...

Inkling - I have super fine, skinny hair. I don't blow it dry every day, nor do I use lots of product. However...it seems as though it doesn't matter what I do to it - days I let it dry itself it's limp at the top, and frizzy at the bottom. days I dry it and style it it's smooth and has shine and body.

I do color it at home myself, but I only do it like every 12 weeks. I think it is frizzy because, well...it's been close to 3 years since I actually had a real salon cut done. The last time I went in, shortly after Littlest One's birth, I only had like 1/4" cut off to "clean up the ends".

I think it's time for a serious change...and some serious length coming off!

Refreshed

2011-06-22T13:35:00.002-06:00

Well, after my utterly insane Monday, things were much better yesterday evening and so far this morning.

We had nowhere to go. No errands to run, no play dates, appointments or emergencies (thank you, Lord!).

Captain slept til after 9, Princess was up around 8:30, and Littlest One was up at 7:30. Had I not been awakened by the sunlight streaming in through my window at 6:02, I might have slept until 7:30 myself!

I have had a pretty good week overall, even with the fiasco that was Monday.

The kids' check-ups revealed they are still healthy and growing (as if the copious amounts of food that are consumed by my 3 hooligans was not evidence enough), and we've no need to come back until Littlest One's next check at 18 months.

We were blessed by BB's employer this year - he received a wonderful review, including a raise above and beyond the "cost of living" raise, some stock options, and a monetary bonus that is now plaguing us as to what we should do with it.

Crazy huh? I mean, 2 years ago we'd have been wondering if we should put all of it toward a credit card or if we could justifiably use some of it for something "fun"...this year? We're wondering if we should put it all into savings toward accomplishing Baby Step 3 (3 - 6 months of expenses set aside), or if we should split it up and use some of it for various home improvements and maintenance, or some combination thereof.

I'd really like to get a treadmill or an elliptical - let's face it, if we had one, I'd use it every day. If we took that money and put it toward a gym membership, I'd be lucky if I got there once a week!

I'd also really like to get some cordless blinds for the kids' bedrooms (I still have nightmares about it being my son who died almost 2 years ago after getting tangled in the cords), and some new blinds for the other rooms in our house.

Then there's the nasty 14-year-old carpet in 90% of our house. Or the 14-year-old hardwood in need of refinishing. Or my 14-year-old cabinets, counter tops and fixtures in the kitchen and bathrooms. Or the giant basement project.

I mean - his bonus was HUGE, and with the refinance, we can either sock away almost 2 months of expenses, gaining us Baby Step 3, OR we can do some combination of any of those things above.

Our dilemma? Deciding which is the best course of action.

Currently? It's sitting in our savings account, earning a teensy interest each month...

Your prayers for wisdom are much appreciated.

And after I finish this post? Well, it's nap time, and I'm off to do fun things like put clean bedding on my bed and scrub the bathrooms, followed up with a rousing session of sock matching.

On the plate for tomorrow? In the morning we have a play date, and in the afternoon I'll be tackling the main floor so that while BB is working from home on Friday, I can tackle the basement projects I need to.

BB is doing sound for a wedding at Church this weekend and will be gone Friday evening and the better part of Saturday morning.

With that in mind, I want all the housework done before I go to bed Thursday night so the kids and I can have some fun and maybe go to the aerobatics show at our local airfield.

When I Need a Reminder of My Blessings

2011-06-21T14:49:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was the 20th of June. Not such a big day - the last official day of Spring, the day after Fathers' Day...and also the day of Captain's first official SCHOOL PHYSICAL and Littlest One's 15 month check-up. Gulp!

To begin with, I've been fighting this nasty lingering sinus crud that is causing my throat to feel as though I have something lodged in it all day and night long, and therefore causing me to resort to over-the-counter medications to get a solid night of sleep. Sunday night was no exception.

I took my dose of (you guessed it!) NyQuil. My dose is NOT the reccommended 2 TBSP of the stuff - that would knock me out for a week. Instead, I take 2 tsps of it and that renders me useless and unconscious for at least 8 hours at a time. Beautiful! mostly...

Monday morning, I awoke at 7. No big deal right? Wrong! Our appointments were at 9 and 9:30 (which really meant we were done at 9:30 because we were back-to-back for the same doctor!)...my kids are NOT early risers like me. Nope, they'd rather snooze til noon and then tumble back to bed around 1pm for another 3 hours of sleep, followed by dinner, some time with BB and then back to bed...yeah, I'm that mom...

Anyway...I went sort of crazy and ran around getting myself ready for the day, and woke the kids up at 7:30, BB at 7:32. I ran back and practically threw the kids into the tub for the fastest baths in our house EVER. By 7:45 we were sitting down to our breakfast of Cheerios, yogurt, juice and toast (depending upon which place you were sitting). At 8:30 those kids were still nursing that bowl of entirely mushy cereal (ick!) and warm yogurt (double ick!). Mean mother that I am, I made them eat every last bite and drop of food in their bowls.

SO...we loaded up the car seats with children, and were off to drive the short 5 miles to our clinic, and got stuck at a traffic light for 3 rounds because there is no turn arrow at that intersection and the elderly driver decided they did not have a clear chance to safely turn.

We were late, the kids melted down as soon as they realized we were really going to the doctor. Littlest One wailed when I sat her on the floor in front of the bead thingy to help Captain undress and get into his gown. She wailed when the nurse walked in. She wailed while she sat on the scale. She wailed while she was measured. She wailed in my arms as I tried to fill out a medical history form. She wailed in the 7 minutes we waited for the doctor to come in and examine them both.

Not such a large deal right? The baby wailing at being somewhere she didn't want to be, clad only in her diaper, forced to sit or lie still and be prodded a bit and have that darn temporal thermometer swiped across her forehead for a fraction of a second...well, that wouldn't have been so bad if Captain hadn't freaked out about taking his shoes off to be weighed and measured in the hallway outside the exam room, or when he had to cover one eye with the paddle to do the eye exam, or when he learned he had to take off his shirt and pants and put on the gown (which was like comfy PJ material) and then have the doctor listen to his heart and lungs and all the other things that go along with check-ups...

I can handle 2 crying children with no issue, but add to the mix Princess being upset that she didn't get to do all the things that her brother was doing and it was a debacle.

As if that weren't bad enough, the baby freaked out when the doctor actually examined her.

To add insult to injury both kids got vaccines yesterday...which never goes well (not that I blame them!).

We finally got everyone calmed down, dressed, and back to the truck. I headed to the bank where they were actually out of lollipops. Now, this might not be such a big deal, but those kids really needed something like a dum-dum to appease their wounded sensibilities.

The bank had a clerical error showing our account was THOUSANDS of dollars overdrawn and it took like 45 minutes to straighten everything out with them, while dealing with 2 sniffling children, and a still crying, overtired toddler.

BB called in the midst and declared that I simply must bring him something from the house. I told him in pretty clear terms that he'd simply have to wait until the next day to take it to the office, and why did he expect me to be able to drop everything I was doing to get it to him when it's been sitting on his desk for the last 5 weeks???

We ended up eating fast food from Carl's Jr (aka Hardee's if you're on the other side of the Mississippi River) which ended up making us all sick yesterday afternoon. I finally got to feeling well enough to clean up the main floor and start emptying garbage pails and gathering recycling, as well as dusting, vacuuming, and trying to mop the floor. I had just brought in my actual mop and bucket (yes, I still do that from time to time), and had the water on, warm enough for my job, and went to pull the sprayer hose out of the faucet spout (pull-down sprayer style, not a separate one) to fill my bucket when SNAP! the faucet broke, the hose rapidly snaked back into the faucet and then out of the hole in the sink and into my cabinet. I shut off the water as fast as I could, emptied the cabinet, dried the cabinet, dried the contents (mostly plastic bottles of cleaning supplies thankfully!), and inspected the damage. It was irreparable. I went online to the manufacturer's website to determine if I could get a piece to repair it. I called the home improvement stores in town to find out if they had anything to repair it. I then called BB to tell him he'd better build in some time to get to the store, buy a new faucet and get home to install it before bed time.

He tried making jokes about just asking for a new kitchen faucet if I hated the other one so badly, there was no need to break it.

After I told him the model numbers of the ones I liked best from my online searching, I said "just go buy it, get home and get it in." and hung up.

(I was angry, frustrated, furious, and just flat out DONE with the day).

I almost ordered a pizza for dinner, but decided at the last minute that our fast food sickened bodies did NOT need more junk and grease, and so, we had hot dogs because in my head at the time they were NOT junk and NOT greasy. My sick stomach the rest of the night will tell differently...and, no. I am not pregnant so don't go there.

I had to leave a kitchen full of dirty dishes, get the kids to bed, head to the store for a coupling in order to finish the installation. Why didn't BB go, you ask? Well, because after he ate his dinner, prior to beginning the installation, he changed into his lounge pants. Which he uses as PJ's, NOT clothes. AND, rather than taking 5 minutes to put on a pair of jeans and go to the store himself, he sent me with a garbled description of what I needed.

I spent 45 minutes with the inept salesperson at the big-box store who had NO IDEA what I was looking for, even though his name tag proudly said "department manager - plumbing". I finally sent him to help the other customer who needed him far more than I did, and wandered the fitting aisle, scouring the items for sale. I found what I was looking for, and was verifying it when a ruggedly handsome 30-something guy still in his steel-toed boots and covered in work-day grit and dirt on his clothes asked what I was looking for. I told him what I needed, he looked at what I had, looked at the display of parts and said "yup! That'll do - just make sure to use lots of tape on the joints."

I made my purchase, validated that I do indeed know what I'm doing, headed home and found BB angry, frustrated and generally not happy.

I basically moved him out of the way, mumbled something about "go watch the end of the game and have a beer" and finished the job myself. I taped the threads, attached the hose and connections, and finished up in like 7 minutes. Cleaned the entire kitchen, did all the dishes, mopped the floor, folded 3 loads of laundry, made his lunch for today, and realized he'd been asleep in his chair for at least 40 minutes!

I woke him not-too-gently and sent him to bed, finished dusting the downstairs and did 2 more loads of laundry and headed to bed, still seething at midnight.

I was awakened this morning by a sobbing Captain who was complaining that his arms hurt. He has 2 large knots at the injection sites (not uncommon, but uncomfortable), and a mild fever. I dosed him with some anti-inflammatory/pain-reducer, sent him back to bed, got up, got showered, dressed, and made-up before I realized it was barely 5am. I sighed, brought in the milk delivery and the paper, got all the trash and recycling out, made a pot of coffee, had my breakfast and was done, with a spotless kitchen before 6:30.

I woke everyone else around 7 or so, got them bathed, dressed, fed and sent BB off to work. The kids and I lolly-gagged around until 10:30, at which point, I loaded them up in the truck and headed to Princess' dance class (which started up this week at 11am).

On the way to dance class, Captain was whiny and sniveling, Princess was beligerent and snotty, and Littlest One was happily chattering away.

I pulled up outside the building and parked the truck. I turned around and said in my most threatening voice "If you think we will go through this day being whiny, snotty, having temper tantrums, and crying over nothing you are sadly mistaken. The very next person who has a reaction that is inappropriate will sit in time-out for the rest of the day. Do you understand me?" After the wide-eyed nods and "yes mommy" from the older kids, I unbuckled them, herded them inside and proceeded to have a happy hour. The ride home disintegrated into sobs and temper tantrums because we weren't having "special lunch" but coming home to have (GASP!) PB&J, fruit, carrots, and fish crackers!

It is the only time in my parenting that I have actually had to follow-through with a punishment that I was sorry I had promised.

After allowing them to eat their lunch at the table, and a quiet 20 minutes while cleaned up, I sent them to nap in their rooms.

The silence has been deafening in the last 3 hours, but I know that when nap time is done, the chaos will be sweet and remind me that I fought for this sort of day for 4 long years.

A Bump in the Road

2011-06-20T12:54:00.002-06:00

Have you ever had one of those moments where you sort of lurch and bump over something...you're not sure if it was just a discrepancy in the road, or if you actually hit something that could damage your car, you, or was itself damageable?

Well, I had one of those moments last week. I put on a pair of jeans because it was cold (yes, really, it was cold - in the low 50s at noon). Well, when I put on the jeans that I had recently purchased because all of my others were too small, imagine my surprise when they were so tight I could barely get them past my thighs! That is right - I was unable to get them on.

I hadn't stepped on a scale since before we left, so I hastily jumped on and was really disappointed to learn that I'd not only put back on what I just lost, but more!!! Augh!

I know in the grand scheme of things going on in the world around us that this is truly just a bump...but I know how hard I worked to lose that weight. I know how important it is to keep myself healthy and strong and be fit. My family's medical history does not bode well for those who do not take care of themselves in this arena...

Just as I was about to pitch my case to BB to rework our budget to allow me to get either a membership to our YMCA, or Rec Center, or one of the numerous gyms in town for the summer, my friend sent out an email and FB idea of doing a challenge group wherein the winner (largest % of weight loss) would get some snazzy gifts! I decided to join, and went today to get my official weigh-in and body fat calculation out of the way.

I am dismayed, but am putting this on here...I would appreciate your prayers and happy thoughts, good vibes, whatever positive stuff you've got to send my way...

I am 5'4", 165lbs, and currently have a 34.6% body fat. Needless to say I am now officially, if not medically, classified as obese.

My goal over the next 8 weeks is a 20lb weight loss. I know the normal safe amount is 1 - 2 pounds weekly, but I also know I can sustain the 2.5lb mark that will earn me this goal.

It's not a ton. In fact, I look at it, and know that my long-term goal is twice that and that my goal to reach 125 is by my birthday in November. I haven't done any calculations as to how long that gives me to lose the weight, or how that breaks down to the amount of calories I need to burn each day or week, or whatever...I only know that I will lose this weight.

I will lose 20 pounds over the next 8 weeks. I will lose 40 pounds by November.

I have too much to lose if I don't.

What Would You Do?

2011-06-16T16:25:00.003-06:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about the decisions I've made in my not-so-short life. You know, things like "why wasn't I nicer to that girl in elementary who ended succumbing to cancer?" and "What was I thinking dating that guy?"

And I started wondering...if I could go back and relive my life, would I actually make different decisions? Would I be nicer to people, keep my mouth shut and my ears open? Be more sensitive to the needs and hurts of those around me? Go on that missions trip to Tijuana? Date that guy, wear that outfit, kiss that boy?

I know that if I hadn't made those decisions, I wouldn't be who I am now...but then, I have days when I really wonder if I like who I am now.

Do I really like the loud, passionate , crazy, goofy, woman that I am?

Some days I don't. I don't like that I talk too much. Or too loudly. Or that I override people and don't listen to them. Or that I yell at my kids because they want to sit on my lap when I don't want to be glommed on. Or that I push my husband away because I just don't feel attractive. Or that I complain about being out of shape but then I sit on my butt and eat tortilla chips and watch TV...

It's tough sometimes, hearing people say what a good mom/wife/sister/daughter/person I am...and knowing that there are days when I send my kids to the basement to play and practically throw food down the stairs so they stay down there to allow me some time to pretend I'm not a mom of three kids aged 5 and under...

So I ask, what would you do if someone came and told you that you could go back and live life over again, knowing now what you didn't know then?

Insert Witty Title Here

2011-06-15T09:58:00.003-06:00

Well, I'm out of exciting things to blog about.

I could tell you about Littlest One's latest accomplishment of cruising along the furniture. I could tell you how Captain is still waking up SOAKED in the morning rather than getting up and going to the bathroom at night and how I'm SO tired of washing sheets every day... I could post about how Princess is going through the beginnings of her drama queen phase (which I hope to heaven ends soon!)...I could post about BB's raise and the nice fat BONUS that's sitting in our checking account right now. I could post about my slowly ripening strawberries...

But I've got nothing out of the ordinary to talk about. And maybe that's a good thing as it forces me to be ordinary.

Alas, I find my ordinary self to be B-O-R-I-N-G!!! Not just dull...flat-out BORING...sooooo...uh...I got nothing.

I think I'm going to have to find something to make ordinary me a bit more...well...extraordinary! If you've any suggestions, please send them my way.

OH! Layla - you're welcome anytime you want to come to my house. You just let me know and I'll make sure I've got some fresh ice cream and a guest room for you!

I'll dig up those questions you all sent me and post on those later...for now, well, I'm off to go do ordinary things in my back yard like kill weeds...and then wash clothes and dust furniture.

And I think that I need to be adopted by Paula Deen...really...she's my food hero!

Summer Must Haves

2011-06-11T09:09:00.002-06:00

Thank you Farmwife - I'd never really thought about what I absolutely must have to make it through summer - mostly because for the last 5 summers I've either been pregnant, nursing, or recovering from childbirth...that's scary...Anyway...below are some of the things I cannot live without during the summer.

Rock salt, cream, ice and an electrical outlet. This is so I can whip out my ice cream maker (wedding gift) and make ice cream! We'll routinely eat 4 quarts (a full batch) in about one week if we're not careful, but I'll make peach, strawberry, chocolate, vanilla, this year I'm trying cinnamon (think apple pie cinnamon, not atomic fireball or red hot)...maybe even throw in some basil with those strawberries? hmmmm...
Sunglasses. I don't know how many pairs I've owned, but since I turned 13 and had truly disposable income about which my parents didn't care, I've had at least one in my possession at any time. I've lost more than most have owned, but I cannot imagine living in Colorado and not owning a pair. Right now I'm sporting some Foster Grant "fitness" style that are similar to a pair of Ray-Bans that I lost a couple years ago (don't ask - it was the 2nd pair I'd lost grrrr).
A functioning ice maker in my freezer. I don't care what beverage I'm pouring onto said ice, but there must be a plethora - nay, a veritable cornucopia of ice in my freezer for me. I'm a "have a little liquid with my ice" kind of girl...the frostier the beverage, the better.
After-sun lotion/gel. Not Aloe Vera - I cannot STAND that goopy muck...ick! I'm talking something soothing, something that smells faintly of coconut and makes my skin stay soft and not get all peely after any sunburns occur. Which they do.
Library books. Doesn't matter the content - cookbooks, biographies, historical accounts, historical fiction, trashy romance novels (yes, I read heaving bosoms and rippling muscles books every so often), mystery, sci-fi, fantasy...as long as there are only a few illustrations, and no rhymes, I'm good. I load up on anywhere from 2 - 3 dozen at a visit and will only very rarely have to renew any of them during the 3 weeks our library allows.
Vegetable gardens - don't laugh, but if I have no plants growing, I'm just not convinced it is summertime. I have to be able to hear the bees buzzing around my tomato plants, smell the basil, mint, oregano, dill from brushing against the leaves as I hunt for zucchini, squash, cucumbers, tomatoes, and pull my carrots and radishes, onions, peppers...if I can't have something at my table each meal that was only minutes before covered in dirt or still the temperature of the outside air, it's just not summer.

Things I could TOTALLY do without, that should, in fact, be banned in my world: (because no list is complete without knowing what I don't like!)

Sunscreen - yup, you can preach to me all you want about skin cancer, premature aging, free-radicals, UV rays, sun spots, moles, freckles, sunburns...don't care. I hate the stuff. I can't stand it - hate the smell, the texture, the feel, the sensation of having coated myself in anything akin to diaper cream or Crisco...blech. I'll take the repercussions, thank you very much. I do love suntan lotion/oil though...hmmmm...
The obnoxious teenagers' music from 3 doors down. Not the musical group 3 doors down - they live three doors down from my house, they are in High School, they are boys, they have a pool, a trampoline, and their parents work full-time jobs an hour away from here which means that there is always loud music, partying, and the music they choose is full of swearing, references to men and women in derogatory terminology and is just not something I would choose to expose my own kids to - which therefore means I have a radio full of KLOVE or VeggieTunes blasting anytime we're out of doors, which therefore means my kids are now used to playing outside while killing their ears. Super!
The ice cream truck. I'm not opposed to them in general. I'm opposed to the owner of said truck who literally spends 6 hours a day in my neighborhood. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he played more than one song. I feel badly for the driver, since it is illegal to wear ear buds while driving he has to listen to it too!
Mosquitos. Ever hear of West Nile Virus? 'Nuff said.
Birds who steal my strawberries at the slightest tinge of red. Again. 'Nuff said.

Well, that's all for now. I'm off to do exciting things today like skim the bugs and cottonwood cotton from our pool so the kids will actually go IN the water, and then change bedding and do some other fun housework.

Apparently the housework fairy mislaid directions to my house again.

And Now, the Rest of the Story

2011-06-09T12:41:00.002-06:00

SO...Saturday morning of our departure found us up way too early, in the dark, finalizing everything. All I had asked for was that Captain NOT wet the bed...he had, and so, I used my 18 minute wash cycle and threw in his PJs and bedding while I swiftly bathed him and got him dressed. As BB buckled everyone into their seats and did a final check to make sure all our bags were in the truck, I tossed the load into the dryer and set it for the "sanitize" setting that lasts 90 minutes, knowing that his heavy comforter, sheets and PJs would be dry and could just hang out in the dryer while were gone.

When we came home Monday night? The load of laundry was wet, and there was a note on the dryer that said "Fire danger??? Don't leave your dryer running when you're gone! We stopped it this morning and will run it when we can be here today." Apparently, the mom of the house-sitting family was first over that morning and never came back...SO, I had to IMMEDIATELY put it BACK into the machine with extra detergent, some booster and some white vinegar to be washed. All I know is that I'm thankful for the sanitize settings on my washer and dryer! They came out clean and icky-ness free...all things are clean and nice and Captain has gone through 3 sets of bedding and PJs since our return home...but that's a post for a different day.

Along the way, Captain ate too quickly and got sick. Thankfully, it was a rest stop and just required clean clothes, not a wipe down of the interior of the vehicle...

When we arrived at my brother's house in CA, my brother and SIL came out to help us get the kids out and welcome us...as I was getting a just-woken Littlest One out of her seat, my sister came down the driveway and was aksing "where's my sister? Where's my sister??" She threw herself into my arms, crying, and telling me how much she'd missed me...

Needless to say, I did not react well mentally, but physically kept it together. I hugged her and told her I'd missed her too (I'm such a liar, because I haven't!), and as she calmed down, we went inside...the next few days, she tried too hard, said some things that were hurtful, and things were basically status quo. I didn't react negatively. In fact, some how, some way, God granted me the strength and ability to just gently be graceful to her...I just am not ready to have a sisterly relationship with her, and may honestly never be ready.

I do know that BB saw it and heard it too. If my brother, SIL, niece or nephews, or even Dad did - they didn't say anything. I asked my Dad at one point how he thought she was really doing, and he said good, all things considered.

I'm just a broken person myself, and I know that. I know that she is too - horribly broken, but how do you explain to a person broken in that way that things will NEVER be the same as they were without breaking them more?

Isn't that lousy? I'm sitting here thinking that I should have said something to her, but I didn't for fear that it would send her right back to where she was...and not because I was concerned for her, but because I didn't want to be the one who did that! Crap, that was sucky...

And once we got to the OTHER part of the family...we were told that BIL and nephew would NOT be coming Thursday night to dinner, just SIL and niece. We'd see BIL and nephew for the graduation Friday night, and BIL would be around Saturday...

SO, things were good Thursday night - SIL and niece were immediately glommed onto by Capt and Princess - so much so that they came back to our room to tuck the kids in that night. It was precious and wonderful and made me so proud of my kids...

Saturday, BIL showed up separately from nephew, SIL, and niece. He was distant, constantly texting, not making conversation, rude, disrespectful to his mother...just flat out NOT the kind of person you want to be around. At. All.

But he sat right next to SIL, and had his arm around her the whole ceremony, sat by her at dinner, was rather mushy and lovey dovey, which was surprising to Bb and I, because the last time we heard anything they were moving forward with a divorce and dissolution of a business partnership...

Saturday night, he again was all lovey dovey, even kissing her rather romantically (normally not an issue right???), but wouldn't talk to BB, wouldn't even look at me, kept trying to be funny and teach our kids things we don't want them learning, making rude comments to his mother...

Sunday morning, MIL calmly informed us that apparently BIL has chosen current fling over SIL, and that the only hold-up to the divorce proceedings was a disagreement over the business situation. MIL wants the proceedings to include a dissolution of the current business partnership, which would free up SIL and BB from anything having to do with the business. Currently, if BIL were to somehow, magically get a loan, and default, SIL and BB would be liable for it. If BB removes himself and leaves SIL there, she'd be liable...and we just can't, in good conscience do that.

MIL also informed us that she and FIL had changed the set-up of their trust because "SIL is just as much my daughter as he is my son and someone needs to make sure she and the kids are cared for"...

It was awkward, uncomfortable and really lousy to watch all the hurt and anger and unspoken things hovering under the surface just waiting to be let out. I really wanted to shake BIL and tell him he's making an ass of himself making these decisions...that his decisions are hurting EVERYONE in this family - his mom is breaking inside because her own son won't talk to her about anything deeper than the weather and sports, his kids are angry and disappointed that he's broken their family apart, his wife is in limbo, confused, hurt, broken-hearted at being left for her best friend, his FIL is holding himself in check that his stepson is such an idiot, thinking with his desire instead of his brain...

BB and I are stuck in the middle of this one, because really, no one is on BIL's side in this situation...it's a mess, it's ugly, it's painful...

And NO ONE is that part of the family wants anything to do with the Healer...

If BIL realized just how selfish he's being...I mean, SIL has been by side for close to 3 decades, through thick and thin, better or worse, richer or poorer...she worked full-time, paid for college classes, took the kids to all their activities, making sure that she worked extra hours, found extra income in any way she possibly could and still keep her dignity and sanity while he pursued a business that was never a success but was his dream...she has been the bread-winner, the stable rock while he never quite grew up...

Anyway...I could go on and on...

What it boils down to is this: He has chosen somethings that BB and I would never choose - we would choose to work together to try to heal our relationship - but it is his choice. All we can do is stand by and love on our family, and pray for them...

It stinks sometimes...this having family thing...

Vacation - The Happy Ending Version

2011-06-08T12:38:00.003-06:00

Wow - 10 days flies by, but sadly, the house did not stay clean and tidy while we were away, and for some reason, the laundry fairy has again misplaced my address, and I'm left with the responsibility of making sure we are not naked when we leave our house (or when staying here - don't worry!)

SO, here we go:

May 28 - left home at 6am and drove for 3/4 tank of gas, while the kids snacked and watched DVDs through most of the mountains of Colorado. Thank goodness we DON'T suffer from motion sickness in our family. Ate a picnic lunch at a rest area somewhere in Utah. Hit a rest stop in somewhere between the start of I-15 southbound and Cedar City. Arrived at our hotel (which was NOT nearly as nice as the travel website made it out to be - liars...), swam, walked across the street to dinner, returned to our hotel room, where BB set the thermostat to "ARCTIC" and proceeded to listen to Captain Chaos cough and hack his way through the night while trying not to fall out of bed, or let Littlest One fall out either (she refused the crappy port-a-crib and was COLD so she slept on my chest).

May 29 - enjoyed the complimentary and not too shabby free breakfast at the hotel, loaded up the overnight bag and swim gear and hit the road. Around 9am PST we hit the Vegas Speedway, and discovered, much to our dismay, that tours do not start until 11am on Sundays. Found a cool truck stop not too far away and found suitable race-car-ish cheap souvenirs. The kids again snacked their way through a state (Nevada in case you forgot your geography), and we arrived in Barstow, CA near lunchtime. Due to the INSANE gusting wind and COLD temps (seriously people it was only 62!!!), we had a "truck picnic" and pushed on. Arrived in Bakersfield, got checked into our hotel, left a message for my brother's family, and hit the pool. We swam in the sun and got cleaned up in time to head the 8 miles to my brother's house and enjoy dinner with them. Finished up with a full night of sleep (thanks to some OTC kid-friendly meds for all 3, as they were coughing too - dirty air will do that to a person).

May 30 - enjoyed baked oatmeal and spinach and mushroom scrambles with the family, watched my Dad teach my graduating nephew how to make the famous secret family recipe spaghetti sauce and meatballs. Did laundry. Had lunch and sat in the sun by the pool while the kids took a non-nap. Went back for dinner, and made it an early night due to non-nap status and overtired children.

May 31 - enjoyed a leisurely breakfast at our favorite chain "Mimi's Cafe" - eat at one whenever you can. Seriously. Arrived brother's house around 9:30ish, let kids play and helped finish sauce while brother (PreacherMan) and SIL were at an awards ceremony for niece). Enjoyed lunch and headed back to the hotel where the kids decided to have a nap. Ate In-n-Out burgers for dinner and went to nephew's Bible Club sponsored baccalaureate, enjoyed dessert with family.

June 1 - breakfast with family, assembled secret family recipe lasagna while brother and SIL went to awards ceremony for youngest nephew. Oldest nephew had grad practice, and got to chat more with my sister (we'll go there another day). Had a graduation party and celebratory lasagna meal, and headed to graduation (whoever decided these things should start at 6pm and last 4 freaking hours should be shot - say their names faster and only have one student and one adult speaker. Seriously!) where my nephew was 9th in his class of 493, a Golden State Scholar, a National Merit Scholar, and several other special honors. He missed being Valedictorian (along with the top 8) by .05 on his GPA - he got a B+ in one of his AP classes...sheesh. :D

June 2 - woke at oh-dark-thirty, packed up our stuff, loaded truck, hit the Golden Arches for a breakfast on the road (nothing like a greasy pseudo-poached egg on a soggy muffin to start your day right! mmm good!), and hit Fresno around lunchtime, when we discovered BB left his phone at my brother's house (more on that later too). Had lunch with BB's Grandma, and hit the road right around nap time. Got to San Jose around 4pm, and were met in the parking lot by MIL and FIL with very cranky, tired children. Barely had time to grab necessities out of truck before MIL was insisting upon meeting SIL and niece for dinner. Enjoyed Outback with family, sitting at opposite end of table from MIL.

June 3 - breakfasted with MIL and FIL in hotel dining room (love free breakfasts!!!!), and spent most of morning just sitting around. Realized we needed to do laundry and found place to do it. Big kids played with grandparents, Littlest One napped and BB and I hung out and had a laundry "date" where we enjoyed coffee, the smell of detergent and dryer sheets, and some uninterrupted conversation wherein we also asked my brother to ship BB's phone home. Ate a giant lunch, and after kids napped went to niece's graduation (started at 6, done by 8:15 for 398 kids - now that's the way to do it!). Drove to a sports bar/restaurant that BIL and SIL apparently love, and got to eat dinner around 9:30. Soon as the Giants/Rockies game ended, the place cleared out. Slept like rocks.

June 4 - breakfasted with MIL and FIL again. Spent morning packing and organizing our belongings while BB and FIL took kids to nearby Home Depot for their Kid Clinic. Ate a "light lunch" and met SIL and niece to follow them to niece's Girl Scout Bridging Ceremony, which lasted 90 minutes. We were supposed to have an "early dinner/late lunch" but somehow didn't end up at Mimi's Cafe until 7pm...BB and I enjoyed our dinners. Went back to hotel, and loaded up some of our bags and then slept like rocks.

June 5 - breakfasted in dining room, joined by MIL and FIL and lingered there til 9am. Hit the road and drove through Northern California (really pretty country if you've never been), and Northern Nevada, including the famed Donner Pass (ironically right at lunchtime!), and ate lunch on the road. Arrived at our hotel in Elko Nevada right around 4pm. Got checked in, swam, and hit a local dive for dinner. We should have gone to the other restaurant, but we had fun, and went to bed early.

June 6 - overslept but ate an awesome breakfast at the other place - if you're ever in Elko Nevada, eat at the Coffee Mug restaurant off exit 301 along I-80! Holy freaking cow that was the best food EVER... Anyway...hit the road around 8am, and drove and drove and drove and drove through the rest of Nevada, all of Utah (the Great Salt Lake is really cool too by the way! my first time seeing it in person, photos do NOT do it justice at all, and was sad to not have time to drive THROUGH city to see the Tabernacle - no we're not Mormon, I'm just curious to see the outside of it). Hit Park City for lunch and saw the ski runs with their Olympic logos from the highway. Drove and drove and drove and drove and drove through Wyoming (yawn!!!) and hit Laramie for supper. Drove another 3 hours and arrived home, safe and sound at 9:30pm, whereupon we unloaded ONLY the bag with our toiletries (gotta have those toothbrushes!), put the kids to bed, and promptly tumbled into our own bed.

It was, overall, a good vacation. It was not without it's trials and frustrations, but we were safe, healthy, no injuries, made some new friends, saw some family (and that's what it's all about!), and enjoyed watching a niece and another nephew graduate from High School!

Thanks for your prayers for our journey...now, back to that laundry and tackling those dust bunnies!

Countdown to Vacay!

2011-05-26T15:55:00.002-06:00

We are officially leaving in 36 hours for our vacation, and I officially have nothing ready to go. For some reason (which I know full well) I just cannot get motivated...

Somehow, someway, in my head, I'm sitting here, playing on my computer, watching DVR's episodes of television shows that are rotting my brain, not edifying or uplifting or good or noble, or pure...and that will help me to not have to face my sister when I get to California on Sunday.

I'm just not looking forward it. At. All.

I am in no way, shape, or form ready to face her. Period. The End.

Please, please, please, please be praying for this visit. I will only make it through this by divine intervention.

That being said, I really do have a ton to do...so much that I'm going to type it all out here...just for myself, not for sympathy or any other reason, just so I can see how much I have to do, and maybe, just maybe get my head to calm down a bit, and channel some of my anxiety into productivity...

Without further ado, in no particular order:

wash, dry, fold, and put away all dirty laundry
change bedding
change towels
wash, dry, fold and put away said bedding and towels
clean bathrooms
dust
vacuum
mop floors
mow grass
pull clothing and pack it
pack lunches and snacks for eating during our 2-day road trip
gather games, books, toys, crayons, movies, and dvd player for kids
gather laptop, cords, camera, cords, bag for us
fill gas tank
vacuum truck, wash windows in truck
put trash bag in truck
pack toiletries
clean out fridge
hold papers and mail
get cash

To top it all off, we are closing on our refinance at 5pm tomorrow night, so I have to get certified funds for that, my folks want to have lunch with us, and BB wants to leave at like 3am so we can get to our first hotel around dinnertime so the kids will have lots of time to swim and play and run around before we go to bed Saturday night.

I'm a little freaked out and feeling stressed...so instead of working on that list, I'm still sitting here...sigh...

Wordless Wendnesday

2011-05-25T14:23:00.004-06:00

Littlest One and Grammy ready for her fans!

When It Rains, It Pours...

2011-05-23T11:43:00.004-06:00

SO...a few weeks ago, BB and I were attempting to refinance and reduce our outflow of money. Had it gone through, we'd have seen an almost 20% savings of BB's monthly salary each month. That's pretty huge when you stop to think about it. That 20% of BB's monthly salary was tied up in paying for debt each month. That means, in retrospect, we're supporting a family of 5 on 70% of his take-home salary.

Now, I know what our tax forms showed his income was before our fabulous government took "their fair share" (I won't go there today). And I know what our bank account shows every payday coming in...and I'll tell you frankly that 50% of his salary is all that comes home each pay check. Between health insurance, his life insurance plan, taxes, and the small contributions we make to his 401(k) and stock purchase each paycheck, 50% of his salary is GONE without it ever making it to our bank!

That's frightening.

That said, I'm truly grateful that the 50% that does make it to us each payday is enough for me to continue to stay home and raise our children. I can be the one responsible to teach them our moral values, our beliefs, instill in them the work ethic and character qualities we deem important. I can be the one to make healthy food, keep our house, and even have time and ability to grow some of our own produce!

Now...we're still refinancing. Our mortgage guy found a solution that will still end up saving us 10% of BB's monthly take-home salary.

Originally, we'd had grand visions of taking that almost-20% savings each month, and beginning to put it aside to save up 3 months of our family expenses. After we reached that lofty goal, we'd be able to take that extra money and split it between retirement savings and college funds for the kids. Once we had a cushion for retirement, we'd be able to pump it back into paying off the house completely...

After we found out we weren't getting that much money, we were really crushed...it was tough, it was hard...we were mad, frustrated, insulted...

And then, I got the reminder that we'd still be getting about 7% of BB's salary each month "extra" from selling the condo we have! That meant that each month, we'd have money that wasn't owed to someone!

It might not have been the amount we dreamed of and planned on, BUT, it was still more than what we currently have. SO, we began planning things around that number. Then our mortgage guy called with the new plan. And we were back up to that 10%!

It's funny, because that 10% each month is what we currently give to our Church. We, once upon a time, toyed with the idea of stopping our tithe so we could "get back on track" with our plan to pay off debt. I'm glad we didn't. I am glad that instead, we stepped out in faith, and patiently made the sacrifice to scale back our retirement investing. We're blessed that we were even able to make retirement investments, I know, let alone scale it back!

I'm totally off my original track here, so bear with me while I get back to my point...

Over the last 6 weeks, we've been up and down, planning, dreaming, running numbers...

All the while, crazy things have been going on with the weather. I don't need to tell you - if you watch the news, you know that these storms are INSANE, and seem so much worse than the last time we had an El Nino cause craziness... Locally, we've had a very cool and wet spring. We actually got 4 inches of rain in one day. I know, nothing like the areas that are getting that in one hour...but for us, that's A LOT! I thought nothing of it, feeling secure in our house, no leaks, no flooding basement, no leaky roof...and then, after 2 weeks of a lot of rain for long periods of time (it really doesn't usually rain hard for a full hour around here, let alone 3 days in a row!), I decided it was time to enjoy the sunshine and clear skies...so I went to open the kids' windows around 6 last night - after it cooled off a bit to let out the accumulated heat (I REFUSE to turn on the A/C before we get back from CA in 2 weeks), and as I opened Princess' blinds, I noticed a large raised section of her window sill.

Guess what? The caulk around the window on the outside has dried up and cracked. To the point where we essentially had none. All the driving rain and whipping wind and craziness in the weather drove enough water into the gap between siding and window that it caused the fabulous pressboard (MDF, Paperboard, the stuff everything at IKEA is made of) sill to swell up and lift off the nails...the sheet rock was wet, the jack stud was damp...

We are SO blessed that it was recent - there is no mold, there is no actual hole in the siding, and it is easily fixed with a tiny patch on the exterior window trim and new caulking.

However, we got to talking about what that might mean for the other 38 window openings on our house. Yes, you read that right - we have 39 windows in our house over 3 levels, including the shop space in our garage. What will we find? Are there other areas that are leaking that just haven't had as much rain pelted against it as to cause this issue?

Do we rip out all the sheet rock and window sills in the whole house to make sure there aren't any issues? Do we just clean out caulk and redo it around all the windows and repair only the things that we see???

I mean, all of a sudden, I feel as though I'm living in an episode of Holmes on Homes!

Please pray for us as we journey through this issue...BB is afraid of heights but he won't let me, the fearless one, climb out the window or climb the ladder and do the work...

OH...plus, while this qualifies as an emergency, we're strapped for money right now what with birthday parties, school tuition, and a car trip to California!

Wanting More

2011-05-17T10:10:00.002-06:00

this morning, I popped over to check on Ordinary Sara and her crew...and her post left me with a little bit of emptiness inside.

Rest assured, it's nothing serious, and it certainly wasn't her intention to make anyone feel badly...she's just not that kind of person...

Nevertheless...I read and am now sitting here, ironically enough, ensconced in my formal dining room, surrounded by piles of things on my dining table, an old dresser of my folks that was serving as our china cabinet/buffet/"we should really something else in this room so let's use this", and my snazzy new "real" china cabinet (I'll try to post some photos later this week). I need to get everything put away in it, and pack up that which will not fit, or that we don't truly need in a china cabinet (who keeps batteries in their formal dining room???). I also need to hang a bracket on which will rest the gorgeous wall-hanging quilt my mom made me...and there are photos that I should sort and get into scrapbooks, and laundry to fold and put away and, and, and...

Mrs Ordinary posted about her to-do list...or lack thereof, and talked about the simplicity of her life, and it just left me wanting that...

To not feel the incessant pressure of all the tasks that I see around me being more important than spending time with my kids. Whether that time be spent reading, learning, playing, or, yes, even doing work makes no difference.

I'm sitting here, wondering when I allowed that laundry list of "Things To-Do" to take first place? When did I decide that I could sit and read a book to the kids "in a little bit", or that we'd go outside "in awhile" to ride bikes or play in the sandbox? When did I become this task-oriented person?

I mean, I know I've always been a bit on edge about certain things, and if I don't police myself, can be incredibly controlling...but does it really make a difference in the grand scheme of things if my basement is alphabetized and categorized? If my laundry doesn't get put into the washer just because it's Monday?

Obviously, there are things that do have to take priority - I do have to make sure there is food for us to eat, and yes, we do need to wear clothing...and there are times that if the bill paying doesn't get done that it could potentially cause some issues...but really, truly...are things like scrubbing baseboards and washing windows somehow higher on some self-imposed list than snuggling with my kids and reading to them, playing games with them?

I think some serious shifting is in order, because really, when they're grown and gone, do I really want them to say "Remember that summer that Mom spent the entire time in the basement and we just watched tv and entertained ourselves? We didn't go to the zoo or the pool or get ice cream cones or anything? No trips to the library? Yeah...that was the BEST!"

There's a fine line between smothering and othering...and I find that this high wire act has left a bitter taste in my mouth today...

I think my list for today is getting revamped to look more like this:

While kids are awake:

log off
play games
read books
snuggle

Once kids are napping:

do other, less important things like fold socks, paint mom's new garden art thingy,
drink several more cups of coffee (like how that gets its own spot on the list?)
make dinner

I know I can't completely abandon the every day things that need doing, but perhaps I could be a lot more efficient at getting them done, and use that extra time to play with and love on my kids in tangible ways...

Virus

2011-05-14T08:11:00.002-06:00

Oh, how that word strikes dread in the hearts of people everywhere...most of the time, it's because your computer or phone or iPod or some other technological device has been infested with some nasty programming that causes all sorts of trouble...

For some of us, it's because of an illness affecting someone for whom we care.

This week, while BB was away in California on business (yes, I know, we're going back in just a few weeks), I had a laundry list of things I wanted to accomplish (I don't like just sitting around watching TV by myself when he's gone so I work til I'm tired enough to just sleep), and made good progress on Monday and Tuesday...

And then...Tuesday night, as I slept with my door open just a few inches (something we don't generally do when BB's home for various reasons), I awoke in the middle of the night (OK, it was really only 11pm, but it felt like the middle of the night!) to that sound which makes every mother's blood run cold...the sound of someone whimpering down the hall...and as I sort of stumbled blindly, half-awake, down said hall, I caught a whiff...and my heart sank...

Princess was sick. Somewhere along the way in the last 2 weeks or so, she obviously caught a stomach bug...

I won't go into the details, but suffice it to say that I have now done somewhere in the neighborhood of 18 loads of laundry (some of which was "normal" wash), changed bedding and jammies in the middle of the night at least twice a night since Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, and disinfected every solid surface in the house 3 times.

So far, Captain has escaped the bug, but Littlest One succumbed late Thursday...

Its the type of bug that makes them miserable and not wanting to eat anything, because they know eating makes their tummies hurt and going potty uncomfortable...but then they're miserable because they're hungry, and then they eat just enough rice, or toast or spoons of applesauce or pieces of bananas, or drink just enough Gatorade (pediatrician's recommendation) that they start feeling normal again, and they play hard enough that they get more tired than they otherwise might, so they sleep hard enough that the cycle starts all over again...

Last night, Littlest One ate a scrambled egg, and some crackers. She chowed down, kept it down, and went off to sleep around 7. Princess ate the same, and was down by 7:30.

BB got home around 10:30, and we headed off to bed shortly thereafter...and I was awakened by Princess at midnight to start the cycle over again...After cleaning myself up and getting back to bed, I was awakened again at 2 by Littlest One...

Blessedly, BB and Capt both slept straight through any commotion and tears (some of which were mine, admittedly)...and, in fact, Littlest One ate some yogurt today around 6 (after a sponge bath and fresh outfit & bedding, and is now sleeping peacefully again. Capt and Princess waited to wake up until almost 8 which gave me time to get showered and dressed, and start yet another load of laundry.

BB is still sleeping. I hope he stays that way for another hour or 2 so he's rested and refreshed, which, in turn, will make him a little more tolerant of the million things the kids do that can be annoying when in the wrong frame of mind...

Please be praying that the girls will get over this virus soon, and that no one else will get sick as a result...

PS - my parents came to my rescue yet again yesterday...

Reminders

2011-05-12T12:46:00.000-06:00

Today, as I awoke to what felt like interminable rain pounding on our roof, I was initially a bit offended by the weather...as I stated yesterday, I'm really antsy to get out and get more things done in my yard and gardens...then my twisted sense of humor kicked in and I was thinking that if I began noticing animals migrating in pairs that I'd be following them posthaste!

And then it hit me...what an amazing promise we have from God...

For those of you that don't know or don't remember...after Noah built the ark and loaded up his family and all the animals and provisions (I care not to think of logistics of waste and odors...), and it rained for 40 days and 40 nights, and Noah and his floating world were safely delivered to the slopes of Mt Ararat, God made a promise to Noah and his family that He would never again destroy the earth with a flood. And that promise was sealed with the beauty of the rainbow across the sky!

As I watched the news and saw the devastation of the areas that are being flooded by the rain and rising waters, and I mourn with those who are affected, I am comforted to know that this is NOTHING...

I know that it feels like it's been weeks and weeks and weeks of rain, but I got to thinking about 40 days and 40 nights...that is 6 weeks of non-stop rain...and to flood the entire earth, that would have to be the really crazy heavy "raining cats and dogs" sort of rain fall - sheets of rain, pelting, pounding the earth, filling the gullies, cracks, rivers, streams, ponds, lakes until they all overflowed and began getting deeper and deeper...

And as I sit here after only 1 full day of rain, on and off, varying degrees of strength of storm, and am already feeling trapped and stranded...I'm reminded of how fortunate we are to live in a world where we can hold to the promise that God will always keep us in His arms...that He will keep us afloat and be there with us...

It's pretty powerful...

Prayer Request!

2011-05-11T17:57:00.000-06:00

My bloggy friend Layla is having another surgery tomorrow...

Please pray for her:

for the doctors to find the cause of her current (and any other) trouble and solve it.
for their wisdom and hands to be clear and steady
for her peace of mind - that she be calm and relaxed
for her husband to be at peace that she is in good hands and getting the best care and necessary procedures
for her recovery to be swift and easy
for Layal and J's future - a job for Layla and wisdom as they move down the path of their life together as husband and wife

thanks!

The Mixed Blessing of a Rainy Day

2011-05-11T13:33:00.002-06:00

Sometimes, I wish I lived somewhere like the Pacific Northwest, where it rains much more frequently than it does here in Colorado. I'd like to be able to spend more time indoors, reading books, coloring and painting with the kids, playing play-doh and Legos, baking cookies, sewing, knitting, keeping up with things inside the house like those goofy details of baseboards, windows, and doorknobs needing cleaned...

I just feel as though in Spring, all my time suddenly gets sucked up by pulling weeds, trimming grasses, planting seeds and seedlings, mowing, edging, watering...and keeping the kids from trouble and injury out of doors.

So when I went to bed with the sound of thunder rumbling, and the distant flash of lightning, I was thrilled!

I was more excited when I woke up to the sound of rain drumming on our roof.

I've accomplished many things inside my house today that I've been putting aside because we've been out of doors so much working on the yard...

I am, however, chomping at the bit to get back and pull up more weeds and plants I don't want around my yard anymore...especially now that the ground is soft.

I always seem to want what I can't have...

Politically Correct Makes Me Sick to My Stomach

2011-05-10T15:31:00.003-06:00

Here's why...

I think all people should be treated with dignity and respect. Period. End of statement.

What you do in your personal life is none of my business. I do not care if you choose to wear clothes that are traditionally for members of the opposite sex, or none at all. I don't care if you eat animals or try to save every living creature out there. I don't care if your skin happens to be brown, orange, green of paisley, whether you are a woman or a man, whether or not someone in your past was a slave, a servant, a criminal or "nobility". I don't care. I really don't.

What I do care about is when someone shoves their point of view down my throat, accusing me of being old-fashioned, ignorant, blind, dumb, stupid, arrogant, mean, rude, racist, sexist, or close-minded. Because you know what? When you do that to someone - that is exactly what you are being.

I want to know why, as an Judeo-Christian, Anglo-Saxon woman, I am not allowed to have conservative viewpoints on things such as homosexuality, abuse, disabilities, poverty, crime, or child-rearing?

Since when did "The Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave" become the "Land of You're Only Free if You Agree with Me, and the Home of the Don't You Dare Brave Speaking a Different Point of View"???

When did "freedom of religion" become "intolerance of any notion of Christianity"?

Why do we allow our government to allow people to break the law time and time again? Why do we allow our government to tell us what we can and cannot eat, whether or not we should wear our seatbelts or helmets, and whether or not it's alright to order your child a Happy Meal from McDonalds?

Unless something huge changed without the people of the United States being aware, the last time I checked, we have a government "of the people, for the people, by the people."

Are people out there really so lazy and greedy that we must rely on our elected officials telling us how to live our lives?

I realize that all men are endowed with certain inalienable rights - life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness...but for a few of us to be happy most of the time, most of us, it seems, must now sacrifice our liberty and happiness...

When did we forgo "right" and "wrong" for "if it feels right to you, then do it!" and "you can't tell me I'm wrong!"?

When did we relinquish our control over our minds, our thoughts, and our lives? When did we decide to stop being parents with authority to discipline our children? When did it become "abusive" or "bad parenting" to actually punish your child for breaking a rule? Why then, are we so surprised to hear of students being bullied so much by their peers, without consequence, to the point that those being bullied resort to killing themselves, or those that bullied? Why are we so surprised at the apathy, the disrespect, the laziness, and the air of entitlement that surrounds our young adults?

Please do not misunderstand - I am not talking about people who are abusive, or those who commit crimes against another human being because of the color of their skin, or the choices they make.

I am speaking about how things have gotten so out of control since we decided that "the man" was against us. I'm talking about how since we said it was ok to not have moral absolutes, there are absolutely no morals. I'm talking about children who are allowed to be their own authority, and therefore have no respect for anything that even resembles authority or command.

There are times that I think back to how my parents were raised: They were taught that there was a right and wrong, and if you did wrong, there were consequences. They were taught to respect their elders, taught manners, taught that if they messed up, they had to deal with the fallout of the mess. I'm talking about how families spent time together around the table on a daily basis, and that stores closed around dinnertime and weren't open on Sunday's. I'm talking about the time when kids were given responsibilities and expected to carry them out - such as doing yardwork, setting or clearing a table, learning how to do laundry, change the oil or tire, work on an engine, paint, mop, dust, vacuum, clean, cook, bake, sew, and how you had to carry out your responsibilities before you were allowed to go to practice or the game or the movie or concert...how the only thing you were allowed to do before your other responsibilities was to go to Church. I'm talking about how my parents knew that there were rules in place and how they respected their own parents enough to follow the rules, because that's just what you did.

How they weren't allowed to have a temper tantrum or act disrespectfully, or be in charge. How you didn't get to have a reason for misbehaving, you just had a consequence. How their parents didn't want excuses or reasons why not - they just wanted our parents to do what needed doing.

How if you didn't do your homework, your parents didn't pitch a fit with the school and make excuses for you.

You know what? I think our grandparents were onto something...

Some Serious Issues

2011-05-09T10:11:00.003-06:00

I just learned that my younger sister is now living with my oldest brother in California.

The one we're going to visit at the end of this month for my nephew's high school graduation? Yeah...that one...

I am such a bad person. I was just telling a friend of mine to basically suck up a situation with her family, that she just has to get through it, because we can't choose our family, we know that there are those in our family who will hurt us, and we are rightfully able to set our boundaries, especially with our families, and the whole time I've been sitting here stewing in my own juices over having to see my sister face to face at the end of the month.

I honestly don't remember the last time I saw her. I know she was at my wedding almost 9 years ago, but I really truly don't remember if that was the last time, or if there was one more time after that...

I think what it boils down to is that I'm tire of hearing people make excuses for her choices. No one forced her to try drugs. No one forced her to start drinking, or hanging out with the people she did...she grew up with the same parents I did - the parents that raised up 4 other children who are responsible, caring, compassionate, loving, kind, hard workers, parents, friends...I mean...if my folks got it right with 80% of their children, and didn't do anything different with the other 20%...how can people sit there and say "well, it's just (insert excuse we make for people here)"...

I just don't know that things are truly so much "nature" or "nurture" as we think...

I know that she grew up in the same family I did, with the same rules, the same consequences, the same expectations, eating the same food, going to the same Church, the same schools...but does that therefore mean that because her biological parents had addictions, she was fated, unable to choose for herself? I just can't believe that we're STUCK with the things our parents did to dictate our lives, with no choice as to who we become, or how we then live...

At any rate, I'm trying not to dwell on the fact that I'll be facing the person who hurt me, and my mother and father, who ripped apart our family...

I'm not ready for it, I'm not looking forward to it in any positive way whatsoever.

And now, to prepare myself, I'm going to look up the recipe for Paula Deen's chocolate banana grilled quesadilla that she just made with her insanely good-looking son Jamie on Best Dishes...

*******************************************************

Thanks, Inkling! I know that a TON of her behavior is rooted in her early childhood. She's the oldest of 4 biological kids, 3 of which are dealing with serious issues along the lines of addiction and abuse. She was in foster care here in the States by the time she was 5, and came to us at age 6. Her adoption was final by the time she was 7. I don't know all the details about her parents' behaviors, but I do know that she was doing much more than any 3 or 4 year old should ever have to do. I also know you aren't excusing her behavior...the folks that DO are the ones who make me angry - because I do know that it's hard to overcome the things we were surrounded with and dealing with for any duration in our lives.

Mostly it's the folks who don't know our family, or all the things that we did, or what was done to us, that make me angry...

Its such a messy situation, and I only know that I'm terrified that I'll spout off and mess things up for her since she truly seems to want this change in her life this time around. The skeptical, pissed off teenager that still runs amok in my mind is screaming at the top of her voice that there's no possible way this will work, after all, she "ran away" twice before...

Thanks for letting me spout off!

Inkling - I totally get it! I think I know the site you're looking at, and am visiting it right now. =) And for the record, you're so not a failure...

Who knows, this could just be my latest litmus test (see, Mr. DeSantis? I was paying attention in your Chemistry class in High School!)

Blockbusters

2011-05-06T11:00:00.003-06:00

OK - I have to ask you all - what was the last movie you saw IN the theater????

For BB and I, it was Invincible with good ol' Marky Mark. Yup, that's right, we haven't seen a flick in the theater since the summer Captain was born.

That's not to say we haven't seen movies...we just usually wait til they go to the special "all day ticket" thing on our Pay Per View, get the 24 hour pass so we can put it on the DVR and watch it at some point in the hopefully-not-too-distant-future...

I just read a blistering review of Thor, and must admit that now I really want to see it...

I'm a comic-book junkie...I love me some superheroes, and supervillains, and counterparts, alter-egos, alter-verses, cheeky sidekicks, snazzy costumes, and the never-ending storylines.

I'm so excited for Transformers, so want to see Fast Five (I know, not a comic book flick, but Vin Diesel!!!!), Captain America, Thor, and any other comic book flicks that I can't come up with right now.

What movies do you love, and, if you have small kids, how do you handle a movie night with your sweetie???

I already know we're taking Capt and the rest to see Cars 2 this summer, but I'd LOVE to go see a grown-up movie in a theater, complete with the sticky floor, frigid air conditioning and over-priced horribly bad for you concessions...because you can't go watch a CRAZY WICKED BAD movie without a GINORMOUS tub of super-saturated buttery popcorn.

Please don't tell me about the calories and sodium and fat and how I'm killing myself eating it. I know all that, and you know what? The only thing I like better than that is the biggest box of Hot Tamales they have behind that counter...

Boo Hiss

2011-05-03T13:06:00.002-06:00

Well, I must start out saying "Thank you" again to all of you who were praying and sending good thoughts my way.

I am sad to report, however, that the gentleman who pulled up outside my house one week ago today, in his shiny new Audi, and wandered around our property in his Gucci loafers, Chaps trousers, and Versace shirt with Armani cuff links, did NOT give us a favorable appraisal.

In fact, he appraised our house for $100,000 less than what we paid for it 9 years ago this week. Now, I realize that our home is 14 years old, and that we have chosen to focus our finances and efforts on things like planting trees, building a 10 x 12 shed, replacing water heaters and other appliances, and increasing our insulation and installing a whole-house water filtration system, instead of ripping out cabinets, flooring and fixtures to replace them with granite, travertine, chrome, polished nickel, oil-rubbed bronze, cherry or reclaimed oak from a barn somewhere, but I have a very hard time believing that our house has depreciated 25% in 9 years since we bough it.

I mean, I know the economy is in the tank, house values are dropping, but really, 25%? Honestly?

We live in a newer neighborhood, in which, our house is one of the oldest. We are across from a private country club, next to 5 schools, but off the main roads, on the largest lot in the neighborhood, and we've LOST 25%?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Needless to say, we're frustrated that we spent the money to have the appraisal done, and now cannot move forward with the refinance of our mortgage.

We are NOT in a bad situation financially, this refinance is not going to break us, but it did make us angry and fuel us in some decisions regarding what to do with any extra money that may come across our table and into our wallets.

Please continue praying for BB and I - he took it quite personally, but we don't have money to pay for another appraisal that may come in more favorably, and we don't think we can appeal to the appraiser to reconsider and raise his appraisal value the lousy $50,000 we need him to so we can refinance.

Pray for wisdom on how to proceed with this matter as well as how to budget with the additional money we'll have from the progressing sale of our timeshare.

Thank you!

Prayers Needed Please - Updated

2011-04-24T20:55:00.004-06:00

First of all - thank you again for the input and advice on my recent questions...

Secondly - if you're a praying person, please pray for BB and I!

We are in process of refinancing our mortgage (I mentioned this awhile back), and we found that our appraisal MUST come in at $320,000 US. In this economy, with the housing market as it is, this will be nothing short of a miracle.

In a perfect situation, our appraiser would come back at $385,000, which would negate several hundred dollars of our payment, as we wouldn't need mortgage insurance, and our rate would actually drop a bit, as our loan to value ratio would change for the better.

Our appraisal is Tuesday morning, April 26th, 11:30am, Colorado time.

Please be praying fervently, and consistently on this front. If this refinance can be fully approved and we move forward, we'll be saving 20% of BB's monthly salary, which means that we'll be able to start actually saving money each month, should some sort of emergency arise.

I know, in all the things that are going on in the world around us, that it sounds trivial and greedy, but I am asking all the same...

Thanks!

************************************************************************************

Well, holy moly you guys! I am overwhelmed with the love right now - from all over the place no less...

I truly appreciate all the prayers and love and encouragement - more than words can honestly convey at this moment.

I was feeling more than a bit overwhelmed by a seemingly endless list of things that needed attention - you know, all those little things that catch your attention one day and you think "OH! I'll get to that in just a minute." and then 6 years go by and the crack in the plaster is still there? Yeah...those things...

SO...I got the main floor in some semblance of order for Easter Dinner to be hosted at our home on Sunday. Saturday was spent running ourselves ragged hunting eggs in various locations, and eating waaaayyyy too much food.

Sunday was family celebration day, as we attended Saturday night services.

Monday dawned fair and...oh wait...it was POURING buckets. BB had his final check-up with the specialist for his dental work (cleared that fine in case you were wondering), and I was left withe getting 3 kids bathed, dressed, fed, and out the door to school, in addition to getting Littlest One down for a nap and then tackling the mountain of little things that required attention...it was so much for me that I sort of panicked and called my mom for some reassurance.

At 8:06 am my doorbell rang, and I thought "who in their right mind comes knocking at 8am???"

Well, the answer to that would be (drum roll please!) - MY MOM!

She ditched her plans to tackle her own chore list and came to my rescue yet again.

Together, in a little less than 3 hours, we packed up and carted to the basement storage room and/or playroom boxes and tubs of anything that didn't belong in my formal dining room, my living room, family room, office, and kitchen. We dusted everything that was not moving, she washed baseboards and windows, we vacuumed, we mopped, I cleaned the bathrooms. She cleaned the kids' rooms and made their beds so crisply I actually did bounce a quarter on them after she left, just because I knew I could. I picked up the kids, we had lunch with her, and did a little bit of down time with them.

After lunch, all 3 kids and I went downstairs, where I repacked all the things I'd been attempting to clear up in the basement, and sort of cleaned the playroom up a bit.

At 2, the phone rang, and BB, who originally was supposed to be in a 4-hour meeting from 1 - 5, was on his way home.

He arrived, changed, repaired the aforementioned crack, touched up other spots, including our handrail up our stairs, he cleaned carpets, he mowed and trimmed our yard (for the 1st time in 4 years!), he pulled weeds, he raked dead growth from last season and bagged up 14 bags of yard junk, and then hauled it to the local area we have in our City. He helped carry things and create a jigsaw puzzle in our basement storage room.

He helped make dinner and do dishes and has done a fairly good job on not leaving things just sitting around for the last 24 hours.

He took the morning off, took Princess to dance class and dragged Captain along for the ride so I could do the last little things like wipe up sticky spots and wipe down the kitchen and vacuum one last time.

Our appraiser showed up right at 11:30, as I was pulling out fresh-baked cookies.

Every light was on, everything that could be made to look new and shiny and clean had been and anything else had been made so it's best face was forward. He measured, he took photos, he asked questions, he wandered around, and talked with the kids...

And now....we wait.

He has to assemble his report, "recreate [our] house for the mortgage company" and compare it to other houses in our area.

SO...please continue praying and sending happy thoughts our way as we wait to hear what he finds and what he determines.

Inkling - I know that the mortgage insurance would only be in place for 5 years or until we reach the magical loan-to-value number of less than 78% (meaning we owe 78% or less than what our house is worth). It's in place more for the benefit of the mortgage company than it is to BB or I. Thankfully, should something tragic occur, BB's life insurance policy would pay off the house, leave enough for expenses, and still set up something so I wouldn't have to get a job for the first year after. We put all that in place last Spring, right after Littlest One was born, because we knew we wanted me to have enough money that I could focus on healing and helping the kids to heal and not have to worry about leaving our home etc etc etc...also, we'll have enough that we'll still have money for the kids' education. Much as I hate thinking about it, it is a necessary evil.

That said - please keep praying!!!

Hugs to you all!

A Serious Question...

2011-04-21T15:48:00.002-06:00

I just read a very lengthy post about Yoga and whether Catholics should or should not participate.

First, let me clarify that I am not Catholic. My Dad was raised in the Catholic Church, went to a Catholic school etc etc...our neighbors are Catholic...

I am curious as to your thoughts and opinions on this topic.

The write of the post was questioning the practice of Yoga (not any other exercise/fitness regimen) as a Catholic because of it's roots in Hinduism. She had an incredibly well-researched post that included many Catholic writings.

The results were CRAZY! People quoting Scriptures to support or oppose the topic. People talking about demon possession...

And so, as a non-denominational Christian, who does yoga poses during my Wii Fit routine, I ask you:

Should we practice an exercise program that has origins in a religion that has over 350 MILLION gods? Should we, then, practice Pilate, which was formed on a regimen that Ancient Romans used to do as priests and acolytes to their gods?

I'm just curious to know what you all think. My Mom is fervently against anything that has roots or any connection to anything pagan, or spiritualistic. I'm a bit waffly about I suppose.

Please...tell me what you think and why!

Questions Answered Part 2

2011-04-21T10:35:00.002-06:00

Ang asked me if I ever stop cleaning and what I do for "me time"...

This is a tough one, because, with 3 small children and 2 very hairy cats, it feels as though there is always something that needs "cleaned", but my definition of "cleaning" is very broad! I do not look at "cleaning" as only the heavy duty things like washing floors or cleaning the toilet. "Cleaning" to me is everything from the simple things of making sure that things are picked up and put away when we're finished using/playing with them to keeping on top of laundry to the big things like vacuuming carpets and scrubbing toilets. SO, to be precise, I do stop cleaning in the sense that I'm not following my children around with a bucket of cleaning supplies, eradicating all evidence they are around. I have a weekly "schedule" that I follow for the big things, so that I don't have to spend an entire day cleaning, and then let it pile up for the other days. That's just me though. It works.

Since Capt is currently in pre-school on Monday, Wednesday and Friday's til 11:30, Princess is in on Mondays and has a 45 minute dance class on Tuesdays, I spend what feels like a TON of time in the car trekking about. I know I don't, and that compared to some of you, I'm a hermit!

So, here's my weekly "schedule":

Sunday - Church and Family - we do little to no "work", instead spending time either attending services (see Saturday for the reason why!), or relaxing, playing games, going for bike rides in the warmer months, watching football, golf, baseball, or enjoying fellowship with my folks and brother, or just hanging around and getting in some much needed non-bedroom couple time. You'd be amazed at how much better our conversations are when we're hanging out in the living room instead of trying not to fall asleep in the middle of a sentence! And no, we don't schedule that sort of thing - we're still spontaneous. Stop blushing...and keep reading.
Monday - in the morning, I either do my grocery shopping early (back before 9am whenever possible as BB takes the kids to school) and get Littlest One down for a morning nap. While she's napping, I will do all the tidying - putting tools and equipment up from the little things we do around the house on the weekend, collecting all the trash and recycling items, picking up clothing and books and toys that didn't quite make it to their appropriate home, and if there's time, I check over my menu plan for the week and make sure anything that needs special attention gets put on my calendar (making dough, letting beans soak, pulling the Salmon or Roughy into the fridge to start defrosting etc). After picking up the kids, we have lunch (usually sandwiches or things like hummus and veggies, the occasional "lunch treat" of stopping for the main dish from a fast food joint - the kids are currently enamored of Ta.co B.ell of all places...Capt will eat 2 bean burritos, and some days it's nice to have a special thing that is cheap but built into our budget). After lunch, while the kids play, I'll tidy the kitchen by making sure the counters are cleaned off, the table's wiped, the floor is swept. This actually happens after each meal as Littlest One is beginning to feed herself and isn't quite so adept yet. The kids are all required to be in their rooms for a rest time - Littlest One and Princess will usually sleep, Capt either reads, or plays quietly with his Legos, some days he actually sleeps. During this time I do all the laundry - anything that's dirty gets washed. I can get 3 - 4 loads done with my fancy Electrolux machine that has an 18-minute wash time. That works for mine and BB's things, and the sheets, but the kids' clothes get a full-on 45-minute or longer cycle. I can generally get everything ready to put away. In between laundry change-ups, I start dinner and set the table.
Tuesday - dance class is at 10am, so leading up is get the trash/recycle bin out for collection, bring in the milk and make sure that the kids are enjoying some play time before we head out at 9:40. After dance, we come home and play some more while I make lunch (usually between 11:30 and noon). During rest time, I iron. I admit that I LOVE ironing. All BB's work shirts require it, his trousers look better when pressed and creased. I have things I wear to Church and Moms' group that need ironing. Any table linens (we use cloth napkins to save money, since I'm already doing laundry and ironing) that need it are taken care of too. The second hour of rest time finds me doing a special project - these are those "I really need to..." things and can be anything from clearing/moving the paper files to long-term storage, working on a scrapbook, catching up on correspondence, working my Mary Kay business, knitting, sketching, devouring a work of fiction, or just chilling out with a giant glass of something cold (Crystal Light classic Lemonade is my all-time favorite) and a cheese stick and some crackers, or an apple with peanut butter.
Wednesday - Bed and Bath day - beds are stripped and remade with fresh linens, furniture is dusted/polished (I rotate between damp cloth and Pledge), ceiling fan blades wiped off, windows spritzed w glass cleaner and wiped (my kids don't have blood in their veins, they have sugar water!), doors dusted off (I hate raised panel doors because of this!), baseboard molding vacuumed with my brush attachment, and carpets vacuumed. I can get the kids' rooms done in about 20 minutes total because they are responsible for putting toys/books/clothes away at night before bed. Anything left on the floor when I tuck them in goes to "Jail" and they have to earn it back with manual labor or money from their commission jars. Bathroom cleaning is almost as quick since the kids don't shower/bathe every day. I spray my cleaner on the shower/tub surround and let it work for a bit while I scrub the toilet, sinks and counter tops. I scrub any stubborn spots in the tub, rinse it off, and after shaking the bath mats onto the hall carpet, I use my hard floor attachment to vacuum any debris, and then wash my way out the door. I begin washing the bedding and towels from the kids right away, and vacuum my way down the hall to the master. It's usually lunch time, so while the kids rest in the afternoon, I do the master. I get anywhere from 30-90 minutes of downtime on Wednesday afternoons, depending on how much junk I let accumulate in between Wednesdays.
Thursday - 2 times a month, I'm at my Moms' group, the other 2 are "down days" in which we either go to the library or go to a park. Anything that is fun and NOT housework! Sometimes we play games, or Play-doh, we color, we do crafts, we build Lego creations, we watch a Disney movie, we read books. During rest time I clean the main floor. This is all the "clear the shelf, dust the shelf, dust the stuff on the shelf, put it back on the shelf" sort of cleaning. When all the things get wiped clean, realigned in their "proper decorative state", and all the upholstery and floors get vacuumed and/or washed. The kitchen gets a thorough cleaning of actually picking up the items on the counter and cleaning under them, not just around them, the sink gets disinfected, the microwave gets cleaned completely. I do this to insure that on Friday's BB can work from home peacefully, without me having to split my time between reining in the children and housework. I also take stock of leftovers to see just what we'll need to be eating for meals over the weekend.
Friday - BB takes Capt to school and works from the lobby of the Church. While that's going on, I do a whirlwind tidying session and make sure all things are at least corralled sort of neatly (Littlest One's toys are in the family room and can spread rapidly), the kitchen, family, living, dining, powder and utility rooms are free of as much clutter and craziness as possible. The floors get swept and vacuumed while he's gone. In the afternoon's, BB and I either catch up with each other and our DVR or do laundry. This depends on his meeting schedule.
Saturday - projects and Church. Our Church has a service at 5pm, and this currently fits better with our nap schedule for the baby. I struggled long and hard with the idea of going to Church on anything other than a Sunday morning, but I'll tell you what I've discovered. The kids get the same lesson, sometimes a better one, on Saturday night. We get a more intimate worship time and I feel as though we're talking with our Pastor in the living room, not being preached to - it's just a smaller time, more attention to each child, the worship is like being gathered for Youth Group, or the fire ring at camp or something...like Floor Devos used to be at LCC...just freer, and more real - less busy...PLUS, the kids get to have a normal day, we can actually have an entire day of working, but we know that we have to stop early enough to get ready for Church, and then we have the entire Sunday to be with each other to not work. This works for us, because God isn't something we only focus on during Church on Sunday or Saturday. We incorporate our beliefs and teachings every day.

I will tell you that there are things that I do daily, such as sweeping and vacuuming the main floor every day. We live in these rooms, and there are always crumbs, scraps, fuzzies, clumps of black cat hair, dry grass, sand, sawdust from BB's shop...so I wipe the table and counters, sweep the kitchen and entryways, and run the vacuum. I also try to tidy up throughout the day. Before each meal and sleeping period, the toys must get picked up and put away. Capt can leave his Lego creations together, and Princess can leave her dolly things set up (baby in bed/stroller, Barbie furniture arranged), but all the unused Legos, clothes, books, crayons, markers, papers, books, blocks etc have to be in their appropriate basket/drawer.

The kids are getting old enough that they can help us out and they help to empty/load the dishwasher, set/clear the table, and are responsible to take their folded clothing and put it away in their dressers. When we come home from an outing, they are responsible for making sure that anything they had in the car or bike trailer gets inside the house and put away. They hang their jackets and backpacks up, and put their shoes under the cute little storage bench with hooks that we have.

I know that my schedule looks as though there's not time for me to relax. Some days, it feels that way, because life happens - kids get sick, hot water heaters break, we have service people come into give us estimates or do work, I mow the grass, weed the gardens, harvest the produce, take the vehicle for an oil change, do doctor appointments etc.

HOWEVER! Let me assure you that I do indeed take care of me.

I am an early riser. I am up around 5 every day. I get up, work out in some fashion (bike ride, Bowflex, EA Active or Wii Fit, jump rope, walk, run, kickboxing on the heavy bag), have some time to spend with God, then get showered, dressed etc. BB is up around 6:30 or 7, and the kids are up anytime between 6:30 and 8 depending the day and the child. The school day starts right now with BB leaving between 8:30 and 8:40. I leave the house by 11:15 to pick them up. We eat dinner/supper at 5 or 5:30, so the kids can have time to spend with BB after the meal, reading, or playing a game. 2 - 3 nights a week, they get a bath, and bedtime for them starts either at bath time (7ish) or 7:30. They are all in bed by 8. BB and I routinely hang out and talk, read, or watch DVR'd episodes of our shows, or watch the end of the ballgame. We head for bed around 10ish. Depending on the day, I'll stay up and read for awhile.

I do bake, but that's much less scheduled, because I know I can make BB's sourdough bread (recipe to be posted later) and it doesn't require much but assembly time, or the brownies are from the box, the cookies are by heart...I can blast them out speedily while the kids are playing.

The kids are old enough, and our neighborhood and yard safe enough that they play out of doors without much supervision these days.

I do spend about an hour each week clipping coupons, matching them up to sales, and making/adjusting my menus. I plan our dinners, complete with side dishes. Lunches and breakfasts rotate between 3 - 4 menus for simplicity and ease of preparation.

For my "me time", I read, knit, play piano, scrapbook, craft...I adore cooking and baking, so even meal preparation is "me time" because I get to be creative and imaginative while doing something that benefits my family and pocketbook.

That was a really long way to get there, but I hope that helps.

I am a tad obsessive-compulsive and an admitted perfectionist. I'd rather not do something than to have it be less than perfect...but I'm working through that now that I've got 3 kids under the age of 5 (I can say that til June 1).

I'm glad that my camping food post helped yesterday, and please, feel free to ask me for specifics about anything I've posted so far.

More to come, and keep those topics and ideas coming!!!

Inkling - I wanted to be a Boy Scout so badly...I was my Mom's greatest joy and her worst nightmare - I was her girl, but was such a tomboy...and our Girl Scout troop was just so...girly...we did a "day camp" and we didn't do anything cool to cook, we never camped for real...I made my Dad help me pitch our tent in the backyard for an entire weekend so I could camp out. And I did! For both Friday and Saturday nights I slept in that tent in the stinky sleeping bag (it was older than me!) and it was AWESOME! I didn't want to wear dresses, or have long hair, or learn to do ballet or any of those "traditional" girl things.

It's the reason I almost failed the sewing portion of my 7th grade Home Ec class! :D

Penny - check you local library and/or Amazon, Borders or Barnes & Noble online for a Dutch Oven cook book. It's a learned technique for certain, but one totally worth learning. You can even do it at home in your oven on low temps! There's a pineapple upside down cake you can do in it at home that is divine!!!!!!!

PS - if anyone has a Dutch Oven, or knows someone who has one that they don't want anymore...send them my way! PLEASE!!!!!! If my Dad still had his, I'd have commandeered it now...

Inkling, I'll ask him about the egg in the orange peel thing - might be fun for Walden to do with any younger clients he takes out. Or a blueberry crumble...

I'd love to get the Calzone recipe, that would be fantastic to do this summer.

Toodles for now, I've wasted my morning writing this post while the big kids played in the basement, and the baby napped.

Off to make some lunch!

Questions Answered Part 1

2011-04-20T09:11:00.002-06:00

Penny asked me about all-day kindergarten, and I promise, I'm mulling that one over. I feel strongly about education and our school system, and am attempting to compose a post that is not quite so emotionally charged, that might actually make some logical sense...and so, as I procrastinate that post, I proudly give you:

Camping Season - Meals, Menus, and More...

Our camping this year will be much reduced from last season, sadly. We are travelling to Sunny California over the week of Memorial Day to attend the High School graduation of PreacherMan's eldest, and MotorcycleMan's youngest. Let me tell you how thrilled I am to be taking a car trip with my 5, 3 and 1 year old! Seriously. I actually am! I have fun memories of road trips - the license plate game, reading books, coloring, playing with my Darcy doll, we even had some handheld, battery operated games (nothing like the PSPs of today, but still...). It was fun to spend the time with my brothers, enjoying eating picnics at rest areas, sleeping in a hotel or motel, camping part of the time, making friends with total strangers that happened to be related to me distantly...sigh...But, I digress.

We researched camping along the way for this trip, flying, renting a vehicle, all sorts of options. Flying and renting a vehicle was OUT of the question - tickets alone spiked to over $3000...just not happening. I have mixed emotions - it's nice to wake up one morning in Colorado, and go to bed that same night in California or Oregon, or wherever. But, when we're trying to curtail spending, well that means unless we happen to have several thousand dollars just laying around an account, not earmarked for college, retirement, or home improvements/emergencies...you see what happens.

As we'll be driving to California and staying in hotels along the way (it only saved us $200 to haul our trailer, and with the rapidly rising cost of gas, plus driving in the Bay Area? HA!), I already decided that we'll be taking our coolers, packed with goodies to sustain us the first day, and part of the 2nd (at least snacks).

For these types of trips, I tend to pack easy to handle, not so sticky items:

granola bars, cookies, brownies, Goldfish crackers, pretzels
Fruit Snacks and/or Dried Fruit, bananas, Clementines for the kids, oranges, frozen grapes
cheese sticks, jerky
carrot and celery sticks, broccoli, cherry or grape tomatoes

Those are my stand-by items for fillers. We snack on those, or have them with our lunch and dinner, sometimes breakfast. I would normally also toss in a box of instant oatmeal so we could just heat water in the in-room microwave and eat our breakfast at oh-dark-thirty in the Styrofoam coffee cups. This time, we're staying at places that include free breakfast, because nothing starts a good day of driving 1000+ miles like sugar-laden pastries, gnarly fruit, questionable juices, and lousy coffee. Ok, I'll still throw that box of oatmeal in!

For meals this time around, we'll be travelling with several pre-made sandwiches of ham, turkey, and cheese for Day 1 Lunch. I may get really fancy this time around and make up some fried chicken for us to enjoy cold around dinner-time, but we'll see what BB's feelings on that one are - he may want to sit down in a restaurant and eat something freshly made for him. Day 2 Lunch will consist of PB&J - I'll bring a jar of jelly, a loaf of bread, and the container of fresh peanut butter. I might even make up a batch of hummus for Littlest One and I to share and save the PB&J for BB and the big kids...hmmmmm...

When we camp, we rotate between a location with full hook-ups for the trailer, which allows me to have my refrigerator, my microwave oven, and an inside 3-burner range. We also have a 2-burner Coleman stove, and a small Weber BBQ grill, plus whatever racks are in the fire pit at our site. Sometimes, we camp with no hook-ups, and sometimes "just" water and electric. The only difference between full and "just" is whether or not we have to be careful with how much water we let go down the drain in the sinks or "shower", and whether or not we have to stop on the way home to dump our black water tank, or do it before everything gets fully put away and packed up.

On trips where I have electricity and can keep things fridge-cold, I will cook like I do at home:

fajitas with all the fixings (I use a mix from HomeMade Gourmet called Season & Steam Fajitas, which I think is now called "Simply Simmer"...regardless - tasty, crazy easy - it cooks in the bag with the seasonings in my microwave) because I can safely keep sour cream and cheese cold enough.
Skillet Chicken & Biscuits (think chicken and dumplings meets chicken pot pie all on your stovetop in a 12-inch skillet) with salad, or fruit, since there's veggies in the main dish
HomeMade Gourmet also has some DELECTABLE pasta salads that you can bulk up with cooked, diced/shredded chicken - a Cranberry Almond, an amazing Mediterranean that uses cucumber, fresh tomato, and black olives - I make these ahead so I don't use up energy trying to chill freshly boiled noodles in my tiny fridge
we do light lunches of sandwiches, fruit, chips (the rare time when we eat them is camping!), cookies, some baby carrots and celery sticks.
the old stand-by of burgers and dogs (again, because I can keep the pre-made patties frozen til we're ready to cook), baked beans (from a can), etc.
Breakfast is either bacon, dirty eggs, and crisp pancakes - I love camping, it lets me ingest bacon and use the fat to fry my eggs and pancakes YUM-O!, instant oatmeal, toast and yogurt, or an egg skillet dish - again, homemade gourmet makes a yummy Mexican inspired that just has you add the eggs, cheese, a splash of milk or water and whatever breakfast meat you might enjoy.

When we don't have electricity, we pack the cooler with frozen burgers and dogs, PB&J, and last time around, I made that Skillet Chicken & Biscuits, because I packed frozen chicken. By Saturday night, it was still icy cold, but totally defrosted, and all the other items in the cooler were still nice and cold because of it!

I try to cook "real" food - no Dinty Moore Beef Stew from a can for us with crumbly biscuits from the box of dry foods, or freeze-dried camping meals for us!

When we were childless, we did "real" camping where we'd pack in the tent, the sleeping bags, and schlepp a cooler to keep our food out of reach of mini-bears (chipmunks), squirrels, and racoons - not too many bears in the lower elevations of the Rockies - and I did packet cooking -

Chicken or Fish with some finely sliced carrot, onion, squash and zucchini, a blop of butter, a smear of garlic, some salt, pepper, parika - all made up before-hand, and packed in a zip-top bag in the cooler - thrown onto the rack in the firepit, or onto the grill (depending on who was with us), along with some sliced or cubed potatoes, tossed with oil, garlic or onion salt, and pepper and also wrapped in foil packets and tossed into the coal or onto the rack or grill...we've had steak and hash browns, fire-cooked dogs and burgers, brats. One year, our camping buddies even brought their fishing tackle and we had fresh river trout...heavenly! Of course, that was also the trip where the basket was used to keep more beer cold for them than to actually hold the fish they caught...but that's ok!

I'm pretty much a "if I can make it at home, there's GOT to be a way to make it camping" girl - my Dad is high up in the ranks of the Boy Scouts, and all 3 of my brothers went through the summers at camp, the winter camping trips...the shows, all the fun things.

My Dad taught me how you can cook an egg inside the peel of an orange over an open fire, how to make lasagna in a Dutch Oven, how to make a peach cobbler, how to make those packets...I remember at one of the annual Scout Show (in which they show off all their skills for the general public and families), they did a cook-off, and my Dad and brothers' Troop won!

The rules were "cook over an open flame using 3 pots or pans, create a dinner, dessert, and hot beverage". They made lasagna, peach cobbler, baked apples, and hot cider. It was totally awesome!

SO - Penny, if you "car camp" or use the RV, you can get really creative - find a Dutch Oven (I hope to acquire one this summer) or two and use the coals from the fire to make a roast complete with carrots and potatoes, all while you're enjoying nature, and hiking - as long as the coals are smoldering and fully covering that pot, you can let that roast sit all day long, slow cooking and be fork-tender when it's dinnertime. Whip up a giant batch or 3 of favorite cookies and brownies and you'll have guests from all over the area knocking at your lantern for a taste!

OOOOHHH!!! One of my favorite things to do???? Chicken on a spit! You know, just like those goofy scenes from Survivor Man, or the movies where they skewer the chicken on a green tree branch and roast it over the flames? Yeah...those scenes...only you can really do it safely over your grill, or fire pit! While the fire is getting good and hot, skewer your cleaned and oil-rubbed, seasoned bird (we actually have a rotisserie attachment for our BBQ at home, so I use the metal skewers from that), and set up a cradle (you can buy them from Coleman, and other Camping Goods places). Make up some seasoned oil or marinade in a bowl, bring a brush, and put that bad boy over the flames (close enough to get the heat, but not actually be in the flame), and turn slowly, basting every 10 minutes or so. It'll take an hour, but you can hang out, drink you favorite camping beverages, chat, play cards, and just sit around.

The trips where we used our grill and Coleman stove were great!

didn't heat up the trailer using the indoor cooking appliances
all dishes were washed out of doors, so no worries about food getting into the pipes and causing issues with the trailer
no lingering scent of bacon the rest of the trip

SO, to wrap this up in a bit more logical fashion:

Look for one-dish recipes that you can do on a stove-top. Prep the veggies at home, so you don't have to waste time chopping and dicing potatoes and onions.
Minimize the processed, boxed meals like Mac & Cheese, or canned meals like Stew whenever possible. Fresh is ALWAYS best, and Velveeta doesn't have to be refrigerated!
Canned soups and veggies taste just as good in your skillet pot pie as frozen or fresh! Bring a can-opener. Plus - the animals can't get into a can should they get into your food storage.
Krusteaz pancake mix is the ONLY way to make them when away from home. Just add water, stir and ladle/pour onto your cooking surface.
DUTCH OVENs are marvelous things - cast iron rocks for making wonderful home-cooked meals - there are even cookbooks out there dedicated to them.
Foil Packet/Pouch cooking totally rocks! It is the only time I use cooking spray.
Keep meat frozen when packing it in coolers, OR pre-cook it with all seasonings, and THEN freeze it. It cuts down on wasted cooler space, because it will keep other items cold and still be safe to eat.
Don't be afraid of the PB&J. Not always my favorite, but you can even get "fancy" and make a PB&J filled fry-bread thingy...too sweet for my taste, but basically, it's sort of like making a cabbage burger - make your dough, fill it with PB&J, seal it up, and then bake them...I prefer the cabbage burgers myself...
Check into camping goods stores NOW to find out what nifty gadgets and devices they have - we can eat toast because we have a stove/grill top toaster rack, and a grill-top waffle iron...
Combine flavors you might not normally think of - bell peppers and sweet onions grilled up on top of your burger are crazy delicious, and then you don't worry about squashed hamburger buns...
Remember that camping is supposed to be time for US to slow down too - share the cooking and KP with the rest of the family - let your hubby be the grill man! BB loves to cook out of doors, and I usually don't do breakfast and at least half the dinners while we camp because he'll cook.
Always pack at least 10% more than you'd eat at home. Fresh air, hiking, swimming, fishing - they really do increase your appetite, and, to quote Laura Ingalls Wilder - hunger is the best sauce, so you don't need to go all crazy with seasonings.

I hope that helps, and at the very least, amuses you!

Keep topics and questions coming!!!!

You Like Me!

2011-04-18T13:53:00.002-06:00

First of all - thank you to those who have left me comments - I truly appreciate it. Secondly, WOW! What a slew of ideas for me to talk about. Hooray!!!

PLEASE keep them coming...

I'll answer them all, just not in one post.

First up - Ordinary Sarah asks me what I am usually thinking about before I fall asleep or when I first wake up.

Whew...I will admit that I do not usually pay attention to the right before sleeping part - my conscious thought generally being "don't think of anything. Just be blank...go to sleep!" which of course causes my mind to begin whirling and swirling through all manner of things...and then I try to force the stopping of thinking, and then I start thinking again...it's an ugly cycle some nights.

Fear not! I'll try not to disappoint you...

Friday night, all I could think about was how good a giant platter of crispy, piping hot Chili Rellenos would taste...all smothered in yummy Pork Green Chili, oozing cheese, a small dab or sour cream atop each...and therefore, I dreamed of being in my favorite Mexican restaurant and being told by our waiter that there was a global shortage of Chili Peppers, and there would be no Rellenos for some time come. It was not a comforting feeling to say the least. It actually woke me up, all disgruntled. Not disgruntled because of the no Rellenos issue, but because I was crying over not getting them in my dream...How silly of me to cry over a lack of dream Rellenos...

The second go 'round Friday night had me thinking "really, crying. Over Rellenos?!?!? Ugh..." and then I started wondering just how hard they'd be to master making at home...

When I woke up Saturday morning, I was only thinking of one thing - how wonderful it would be if BB had woken early and made breakfast and was bringing it to me in bed, and how it would only be improved upon if he'd cleaned up!

Alas...neither event happened.

I don't remember what I was thinking about Saturday night, I was wiped out from helping my folks build a new retaining wall in their garden. Mom's going to be on the local Symphony Guild's Garden Tour this summer, so she's tweaking and finalizing things in their yard. We got to help with this one because she wanted it done before the end of the month, and if left to his own devices, my Dad would have been finishing it up as people were arriving for the tour.

Sunday morning, my first conscious thought was "where did those muscles come from? they weren't there before!"

Last night, I drifted off to sleep thinking about how amazing my family is, and how blessed I am. I'm preparing to attend a Baby Shower for a dear friend, who has wanted nothing more out of life than to be a wife and mom, and the journey she'd taken to arrive at this point. All the things she endured and made it through...amazing.

This morning, I awoke a few minutes before my alarm went off, and thought...I don't want to go to school today...I wonder if I can convince Mom I'm too sick to go...and then I remembered that an at-home parent doesn't get sick days...so I rolled over, squeezed my eyes shut to ward off the start to the week, and snoozed my alarm twice.

As you can see, my mind is sort of like a pinball machine...it bounces and jumps and zips all over the place...I don't know that I actually think of the same things more than one night or morning in a row...which most likely means that tonight I'll be pondering that...

What about you? What are the thoughts that fill your brain right before you go to sleep, or when you first wake up in the morning?

Blah, Blah, Blog

2011-04-16T12:13:00.002-06:00

Alright...for any of you who have stuck around during my bloggy adventures, PLEASE, PLEASE...I am begging you...

I need to have some new and exciting things about which I can write...I am fearful of becoming predictable, boring, even repetitive...

SO, in light of my paranoid delusions that folks out there actually ready my blog, and want to return to read more....

I am blatantly soliciting your input.

Send me topics, send me questions, send me things about which I can spout of endlessly.

Seriously. Ask me anything, politics, religion, education, nutrition, how I feel about poor Pluto no longer being a planet (or is it again?), whether or not I believe that the government is trying to numb us by flouridating our water supply, and vaccinating our children...ask me how I feel about Drew Carey's Improv-a-ganza, and new skinniness...or about Jenny McCarthy's seriousness in regards to her son's autism and subsequent books about how to cope, and his special diet and how he's been cured...ask me about my thoughts on movies, books, music...art...heck, ask me about Play-Doh and whether I'm for mixing colors or against. We can debate Crayola against Rose Art...

anything...please....help!!!!!!

More for Layla

2011-04-13T14:35:00.003-06:00

I forgot to tell you that I meal plan to keep our groceries on budget. My monthly budget is $480 to cover EVERYTHING - milk, eggs, other fresh dairy, dry goods, canned goods, meat, produce, etc., and dining out.

I feed 5 people, 3 meals each day for all but 2 meals or so a week. Once a week we do leftovers, and we eat out like twice a month (sometimes more if I score really good deals).

I plan out lunches and dinners. Breakfasts are rotated. We either have eggs or yogurt with cold cereal, oatmeal, toast, or waffles (I make extra on a weekend and freeze them, then reheat/cook them in the toaster oven). BB packs a lunch each day that is the same - a tortilla wrap with the same number of slices of cheese and deli meat, a piece of fruit, some baby carrots, and either sugar-free pudding or sugar-free Jell-O.

Our meals are usually things that I can use the meat leftovers in another meal - I roast a whole chicken, and whatever we don't eat (we still only need one chicken but we're not too far from needing 2 to have any leftover), gets removed from the carcass, and used in casseroles, soups, or things like enchiladas or tacos, or even a salad. I cook down the carcass to make stock to use in other recipes down the line - soup etc. So, twice in a pay period (twice a month) we'll have something with cooked chicken in it from the leftovers. We'll do something "simple" twice in 2 weeks - such as soup and sandwiches, or pizza (I make my own to save even more money).

I would recommend buying in bulk whenever you can - if you have room, buy the 5 lb bag of rice instead of the 1 lb. Also, make sure you check the per unit price on items - that 12 oz box of Cheerios might be 2/$5, BUT the 39 oz box is on sale for $3.69 - which is actually less money per ounce, AND if you have that coupon, or your store card, you could get it for even less.

Check to see if you have any local discount grocery stores. I know, this immediately brings to mind the scene from "Look Who's Talking" where Kirstie Alley is imagining life with John Travolta's "always get a free lunch" mindset and he brings out the bag of dented cans with no labels making for a "mystery meal"...but that is just not the case! Bread companies are required to pull their product off main-stream shelves to guarantee freshness, but all those loaves of bread? They go to a bakery outlet - look for one! You can get high-quality products including donuts, crackers and soup mixes for 1/4 of what you might pay at your normal store!

Also - discount stores will often buy products from main stream stores for wholesale and will sell it for a huge discount to you - meaning you can get items like canned soup, veggies, baking mixes, cereal, sometimes even fresh produce (but you might have to buy a whole case!) at a fraction of the normal cost.

It's not spoiled, it's not dented, or missing labels...it just helps the manufacturers keep from losing money, and helps you save money. Look around - check online for discount grocers in your area.

ALSO - watch sales, clip coupons, and plan your meals around what is on sale & in season, NOT what sounds good at the moment. Unless you have severe allergies, or are following a special religious diet (Kosher or Hallel), you should be able to feed you and J for a pretty small amount.

Sure it means you'll cut out some things, but do you really need that giant box of Oreos, or the King Sized bag of Tostitos? Probably not! You might want them...but if it's the difference between paying off that first debt or not...those Oreos don't taste so good after a few bites.

I'm not saying you need to start going crazy like those freaks on Extreme Couponing (some of whom may be breaking the law by the way), just be wise - if Mangoes are on sale, and you're planning on grilling chicken, why not buy some and make a Pineapple Mango salsa, or a Mango Chutney? Avocados for cheap? Have a fiesta night and make guacamole for your tacos! Whole chickens on crazy good deal for $.69/lb? Buy as many as you can fit in your freezer, pop some in your crockpot with some water and seasonings, shred them up once they're cooked, then freeze the meat in containers or ziploc bags for future use, and skim the broth and freeze it up to make other things down the road. Strawberries are B1G1? Buy 6 - 8, and remove the stems, slice them up, and freeze them for smoothies, shortcake, or to top waffles and pancakes on a special meal/breakfast.

It takes some time, and some effort (ask FarmWife's Aunt Anita for help - she's awesome at this!), but you can honestly and ethically get things like toothpaste and deodorant for free, saving you money every month.

Sign up for loyalty rewards - if your favorite restaurant lets you earn free appetizers or desserts, make sure you flash that card and then remember to use those rewards for something special!

Write to companies and let them know you're trying to save money, can they send you coupons. Visit your favorite websites and check for savings online. Sign up for Groupon and keep your eye out for special deals on Facebook - Like your restaurants and get notice of special occasions coming up.

Phew...I think that's all the ideas I have right now...

For Layla (and anyone else interested)

2011-04-12T17:21:00.005-06:00

Thank you, Layla, for the compliment yesterday!

Here are some tips for you and your honey.

Figure out just how much you owe in total to all the places you owe (loans and credit cards) as well as how much you are spending monthly to stay current with the loans, and for all other expenses - housing, utilities, food, eating out, entertainment, clothing, insurance, car registration, pet supplies, and be sure to include your coffee habit or vending machine habit!
Figure out just how much you actually have coming in each month BEFORE all that spending occurs.
STOP USING YOUR CREDIT CARDS. Right now, right away, today. Take them out of your wallet, and put them in a container of water in your freezer. Seriously. Only have your debit card and your store loyalty cards (Kroger, Safeway, Staples, whatever) along with your ID and insurance cards.
List out your consumer debt (car loans, student loans, credit card debt, medical debt) in order from SMALLEST balance due to largest along with the amount you pay monthly.
Write down exactly where you're going to spend every single dollar that comes in on your honey's paycheck. Seriously - set a budget for EVERYTHING including getting your hair done, buying a couple coffees a month, ALL the groceries you need to get through a pay-period, the cable bill etc. The goal is pay for all the necessities, and as many of those debts as you can each month, and have a 0 balance at the end of each month. Any "extra" money you have should go toward that first debt on your list - get that balance paid off ASAP!
If you have no extra money - meaning if you took your total monthly income and subtracted your essential expenses, find out if you can cut things out - cancel or lower your cable subscription. Stop paying to download things to your phone. Go to a basic "phone call only" plan on the cell phone. Change internet plans to a slower speed, or bundle your utilities to save a couple bucks. See if you can stretch that color from 8 to 10 weeks to spend a bit less on hair, stop drinking gourmet coffee drinks or grabbing a "few things" from the store - make a meal plan and a grocery list and stick with it so you don't have impulse shopping occur.
If you can't find things you're willing to stop spending as much on, or you're at the lowest possible way you can do things, start looking around your house and storage areas and start selling things to help make some extra money. The mantra we live by these days is "Live like no one else, so later you can live like no one else." Basically it keeps us focused that this lifestyle of cash only and little sacrifices is only for the short-term, and that by doing this, we're affording the kids college without borrowing money, no car loans, weddings of their dreams, and a healthy attitude about delayed gratification. It's also teaching us to be more respectful and grateful for that which we have.
As you pay each balance off, roll that payment into the payment of the next one on the list. For example - if you pay:

Visa - $100

Discover - $250

Student Loan- $96

Layla's Ride - $300

J's Ride - $325

When you pay that Visa balance off, take that $100, and add it to the $250 you're sending Discover, so you're now sending them $350. Then add that $350 to the payment to your student loan, and then to the car loan, and then to J's car loan... (can you tell I have no idea about student loan balances and payments????)

Once you do this, do NOT start spending that money again. Instead, aim to put 3 - 6 months of your expenses into savings for a true emergency (oh, say...insurance denying a claim, or J losing his job before you get one), so that you don't have to use the credit cards again. So seriously, take them out of your wallet. For good. Once you have the expense money saved, THEN you can start to think about budgeting some of that money monthly to replace a car (so you can pay cash instead of taking out a loan), or make a down payment on a house somewhere. Invest some for retirement, put some aside to take a vacation someplace special, or, if kids do become a certainty, you can start a college fund so they don't end up having loans...

We learned all of this through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. Take some time to check out his website, find his show on air or tv in your neck of the woods. See if your library has any of his books, and check them out to read them.

Most importantly, you and J need to be on the same page about changing things around. It might mean that you just take a job, any job, even if it's working at your favorite store to earn enough to buy the groceries each month, so all of J's salary can be funneled toward paying off the debt and your living expenses. It might mean J takes a 2nd job, or that you trade one of the cars for something less expensive (if you're not upside-down on the loan I'd seriously consider it).

It means feeling like that college kid again, waiting for the loan money to show up so you can buy groceries and get the oil changed in your car, BUT, if you commit to living on LESS than you make, it can be done.

If you have any questions, ask FarmWife for my real information and email me. I'll happily chat with you - heck, we have a phone package with unlimited long distance - I'll call you and talk in real life with you.

I don't claim to be a master, or a financial adviser or planner - I just know that we needed to throw out EVERYTHING we'd ever learned about getting out of debt, and relearning it. Dave truly gave us the information on what to do, but then he actually taught us HOW to do it.

If you take the class, you get access to some online resources (debt repayment calculator, budget forms etc) that make things super easy. The forms are in his books, but sometimes can be confusing to use on your own.

If I knew how to do computer things like rip CD's and send you the mP3 files (and it was legal and ethical), I'd send you the audio recordings we have from the class...

I hope that helps, and if you have questions, please don't hesitate to ask. Ordinary Sarah and her family are doing the same thing, so I'm not the only crazy bloggy person out there.

Live like no one else...

And Now We Wait

2011-04-12T13:11:00.002-06:00

Well...we accepted the offer on our timeshare. We are now waiting for the buyers in the UK to respond and move forward, then we get paperwork, and start the fun process of signing, notarization of signatures, and mailing of contracts...

I'm pleased, but nervous all at the same time. It's a bit intimidating and exhilarating all at the same time - there's this sense of freedom that is hovering just on the brink of my senses...

BB also decided it was time to take advantage of low interest rates and we'll be beginning the arduous process of refinancing the house. I'm not looking forward to it - dealing with amounts of money with lots of digits before the decimal point that have a value greater than zero make me extremely nervous.

I think it goes back to being a college student in debt up to my eyeballs...and not thinking anything of the total amount that I owed until my dad sat down with me one day and had me gather everything on which I owed money...and when we added up the individual things, I almost passed out...somehow, I was able to delude myself into believing that it wasn't that much because it came from several different accounts on which I owed...but, oh by, those numbers were so daunting to me...

I was able to pay it all off - quickly - with much hard work and a ton of discipline in not spending anything for which I didn't have cash (funny how that slipped away when I was a newlywed!).

I just don't want to get back to that point of owing more than I can pay in one month's paycheck...which we currently do. I know, it's the "American Way"...and right now, I'd rather not claim that particular part of being a U.S. Citizen - this spending more than I make, more than I can afford to pay off.

I just did a mental calculation, and right now, if something happened to BB, his life insurance would pay off all our debt, but I'd have to sell all his tools, and any unnecessary things (riding mower anyone?), and then go back to work full-time and pray my folks would watch the kids so I wouldn't have to pay for childcare.

Once the mortgage is gone, we'll be much easier, but right now, the total amount of our monthly expenses is a scary number. And we try to live frugally.

I do know that we'd be ditching our cell phone plan, and letting go of our satellite tv. I'd be watching things on Hulu and the like...and I only know that I'd be praying like crazy that I'd get top dollar for the things of BB's I wouldn't use anymore.

I don't like thinking that way, but sometimes, a reality check like that makes me realize just how blessed we are, and just how much more of a good steward I need to be!

No more house blends for me! In fact, I think I'll just stick to water - at least it's cheaper to get our water from the City than any cup of coffee could ever be.

Pins and Needles

2011-04-11T10:05:00.002-06:00

Shortly after BB and I were married, we accepted and invitation to accept a free 1-night, 2-day stay at a resort in a local ski community. It was, of course, bound by the fact that we had to attend a tour of a new resort, and listen to all the reasons of why we should by a time-share with them.

We were appropriately awed and did, in fact, purchase a 2-bedroom, Christmas-week unit to the tune of lots of money. We took on a loan, in addition to our mortgage and credit card debt, thinking that we'd rent it out and use the income to assist in paying a bit extra on the loan.

Well, fast forward 8 years, and we are still paying that loan, the rental income we'd expected was not as much as we'd hoped, we're tired of dumping money into it, and we've only used it one time for a vacation.

2 years ago we listed it with a local agent for sale. We'd had no interest whatsoever until Thursday night last week. The offer is almost half of what we originally paid for it. It means a large financial loss, but, the profit after fees would cover the balance of the loan with a fairly sizeable amount leftover to put toward savings.

In our Financial Peace University Course last year, we learned all about taking Baby Steps toward financial peace, working toward being completely debt free, and having money for retirement and for the kids' college educations. Our first step, you may or may not remember, was to have $1000 in an emergency fund. 2nd was to pay off all consumer debt (credit cards, student loans, etc). Ordinary Sarah and her husband are living the same way. Over the last 12 months, BB and I have paid off all the credit cards, had no student or car loans (blessedly). This loan has been hanging over our heads. We know that to accept the offer would be the wise and best thing to do at this point. It would free up several hundred dollars each month to put towards saving 3-6 months of expenses (Step #3). There's a large part of me that is antsy with desire to be rid of it. There is another part of me that thinks it would be wise to keep it, to enjoy something special, our very own tradition of getting away near Christmas to enjoy skiing, boarding, snowshoeing, sledding, swimming...

I am currently awaiting an email to verify that the offer and amounts we were told are after all fees, and to determine the next steps toward selling it.

It is a bit bittersweet - the end of our spontaneous childless days. Those days when we could and often did decide to pack up on a Friday after work and head out to some adventure, on the motorcycle, riding to some unplanned location for a special dinner and weekend at a hotel - luxurious dinners out at restaurants that don't serve chicken fingers or macaroni and cheese, let alone have a children's menu...the last reminder of that young couple with nothing on the horizon but seemingly unending resources.

Little did I know then, that today, sitting here, I'd be glad to be rid of a status symbol, glad to be thinking of putting aside money so that someday, my 3 amazing children, can go to the college they want to attend, no matter the cost, have the wedding they desire, no matter the cost...so they can have those things and not owe anyone any money as they embark on their own adult lives.

I'll keep you posted as things progress.

In the meantime, if you have a way to work off anxiety and anticipation healthily, let me know, will you?

Extreme Insanity

2011-04-09T21:59:00.002-06:00

Since my dear friend Farmwife has posted this, I am, instead going to rant about the INSANE CRAZY GREEDY FREAKS featured on TLC's Extreme Couponing...

I just watched the premier and am appalled at these people...

I don't have issues with saving money, being good stewards of that with which we've been blessed, or using our resources to bless others.

I do have issues with people who spend money on 1000's of toothbrushes, sticks of deodorant, and rolls of toilet paper and then keep them in their garage, basement, attic, garret, shed, barn, car, bed, and HOARD them.

It sickens me to think of the fact that they are so proud of saving money on thousands and thousands of dollars of merchandise that they will never be able to use in their lifetime.

I realize that there are those out there who do not do this - that instead, use coupons and sales to purchase that which they need, and save as much money as they can.

I do realize that there are those who take the massive amounts of items they have purchased and donate them to a food bank, or shelters...

But...of the 4 couponers profiled on the premier, only ONE of them made mention of impacting their community with donations of items they'd bought. And, of the 2000 items he purchased, only the boxes of cereal were being donated, rather than the 1500 sticks of deodorant, 5000 bottles of lotion, body wash and shave gel being given to a shelter, or sent overseas to our troops, or put in the Operation: Christmas Child boxes (or something similar).

The first lady who said she'd dumped plans with her husband to go shopping and admitted she is a shopaholic sickened me.

I am heartbroken to think of the families and individuals who could be fed and cared for with the bounty these families are hoarding.

I know one family was in a situation where their stockpile kept them from going hungry or into debt when the husband was out of work, and their daughter had a medical emergency - they were able to eat from their storehouse. The retired nurse who has been debt free and raised a family with her frugality is great...

But to sacrifice relationships to hoard stuff makes me ill...

I am blessed beyond measure, more than I can ever say, and I try so hard to be wise with how I handle that which I've been given.

Lord, if you ever present me with an opportunity to store up tens of thousands of dollars of merchandise and foodstuffs, please allow me a way to share it with those in need. Amen.

Prayer Request

2011-04-07T16:10:00.001-06:00

Whatever your methods may be - please be praying for a dear bloggy friend of mine. I won't mention names, but they are having a really lousy family time right now with lots of yucky things going on that are effecting emotional, mental, spiritual and physical well-being right now.

She needs prayers for everyone in her family - so please, please send some up on her behalf!

More on Yearning

2011-04-07T11:19:00.002-06:00

Thank you WordGirl and Layla for your comments...

I know, WordGirl, that you get it, that reaching for something unnamed, unattainable (or so it seems)...

Lately, I've been getting that Wanderlust, wondering just how I could possible carry out a trip to some exotic locale with 3 children 5 and under - bike across South America, like a family I read about last summer, or hike the Appalachian Trail from tip to tail, or explore every National Park, or search for the family that I know is somewhere in Italy, somewhere in England, Ireland, Scotland, Sweden, Germany...head back East and introduce my children to the life in NYC and all things Jersey...find those roots...

I know that this is in part due to the fact of being at home so much lately - trying to keep our spending down means using the bicycles when weather permits, and only driving when absolutely necessary, which means a lot of time spent at home being creative with the kids for activities.

I feel as though I'm stuck in this endless rut of wash the clothes, fold the clothes, put them away, clean the floors and counters, make the beds, tuck people into bed, change diapers, wipe noses/faces/hands, make a meal, clean up the meal and over and over again...with no sign of any progress - I feel as though I'm the one stuck rolling the boulder up the hill over and over again.

I know that's a part of my "job" as at-home parent, but sometimes I wonder just what happened to the girl I was in college - with the zest for new things, exploring, all things an adventure, all things wonderful, new, fresh...and some days I forget that I need to look at life through the eyes of Captain, who, at almost 5, is wondering just how everything works and why, or those of Princess, newly 3, who sees everything as romantic and lovely and beautiful, or even of Littlest One, just a year old, learning things for the first time - figuring out cause and effect.

Some days I just need that reminder that mine is a purpose much farther reaching then the end of the day.

Yearning

2011-04-05T12:42:00.003-06:00

Some days, there are just no words to identify what's going on in my head, in my heart.

Today is one of those days. I suppose, that if I had been born 200 years ago, I'd have been a pioneer - always picking up and moving on, unsettled when the feeling of roots being spread starts up, always off to new and better, unexplored things.

I love my husband, I love our children, I love my house, I love my life.

But sometimes, there's this itch, this longing, this unnamed something that hovers, just out of sight, niggling in my head, in my heart...

And on those days, I yearn for something more, but can never quite put my finger on where it is I'd like to be, or what I'd do once there...I only know I wish for clarity, for fulfillment, for peace to come over my head and heart.

Roots

2011-04-04T10:30:00.002-06:00

Sometimes, after I read the blog posts of other people, I'm inspired to share something similar - their words start me thinking about my own life...

Sometimes, I envy those who can trace their families back, back to a ship hundreds of years ago, coming to the shore, starting a new life when life was so very raw here in the States...

And I think about the fact that my own grandparents came when it was barely the 20th century. They sold everything they owned, purchased tickets on a ship, came across the ocean and settled on the East Coast, making lives for themselves. And how, all my grandfathers' brothers settled there in that same region, starting their own families and how I have cousins, removed genealogically, geographically, demographically...and yet, I wish I knew them.

I found many on FB, and while we have that connection of "My grandfather was your grandfather's brother", there is something lacking, some strand that is just not there.

And then I think of my cousins on my mother's side - my parents each only have one sister, who each only had 2 children, and my mother was adopted, so half of my cousins aren't really even related by blood - and how we were such fast friends, even though we only saw each other a few times each year, how when we'd meet, it was as though no time had passed, we picked right up, chattering, playing, loving...sharing...

And I wonder sometimes what sort of relationship my own children will have with their cousins - a quarter of which are almost a full generation older, a quarter of which live thousands of miles away in Africa, and the remaining quarter of which we'll never meet due to my sister's drug addiction and the laws of the State of Illinois, which forced relinquishment of parental rights before she even left the hospital after each of her children were born.

I wonder, sometimes, if somewhere out there, I have more cousins, more aunts and uncles from my mother's biological family...if BB's own blood cousins will ever be more than acquaintances to us...if his step-brother will ever forge a real relationship with him...

And sometimes I feel like one of those air plants that grow in the crooks of tree branches in the jungles - no roots at all, just clinging on the branches, taking nourishment directly from the rain drops as they fall, not even letting them touch the ground...

And I wonder, just how important are those roots, and can a transplanted being every truly settle into foreign soil?

A Suburban Princess Speaks

Not Dead, Just Changing Priorities

Recipe Challenge Week 1

January

Be It Ever So Humble...

It's the Hap-Hap-Happiest Season My Foot...

Serious Reminders...

Insert Catchy Bloggy Title Here

Wishing and Hoping...But Not Holding My Breath

Thanksgiving 2011

Please Let Me Gush

Taming the Tongue

Bumps in the Road

Gearing Up

Lighten the Load: No Holiday Blues

31 Days...

Potpourri

Sharing

Eating Crow

Does It Ever Get Easier?

Longing

Lighten the Load

Lighten the Load

Laundry List

Updated Request on Tyler

Prayer Request - URGENT

The Results Are In

Banishing the Grumpies

Escape

Pardon Me While I Blow Off Some Steam

Still Waiting

Bits and Pieces

Restless

Please Pray for Littlest One

More Questions

Those Who Don't Work...

AAAAAAAAAAAnd We're Back!

Mulling It Over

Food for Thought

The Light Came On

What Happened to Summer???

Ducking My Head

Dear Elected Officials

Time Flies and Other Catchy Cliches

In Order of No Particular Importance

The Fourth of July Edition

It's Not Easy Being Green

Drumroll Please....

If I Had a Hammer

Refreshed

When I Need a Reminder of My Blessings

A Bump in the Road

What Would You Do?

Insert Witty Title Here

Summer Must Haves

And Now, the Rest of the Story

Vacation - The Happy Ending Version

Countdown to Vacay!

Wordless Wendnesday

When It Rains, It Pours...

Wanting More

Virus

Reminders

Prayer Request!

The Mixed Blessing of a Rainy Day

Politically Correct Makes Me Sick to My Stomach

Some Serious Issues

Blockbusters

Boo Hiss

Prayers Needed Please - Updated

A Serious Question...

Questions Answered Part 2

Questions Answered Part 1

You Like Me!

Blah, Blah, Blog

More for Layla

For Layla (and anyone else interested)

And Now We Wait

Pins and Needles

Extreme Insanity